Thursday, October 10, 2013

a bed for Barbs

hi there

well, earlier this week i speculated, or expressed a wish, that the rest of this week would be quite quiet. that was an ace jinx from your humble narrator, that was.

this morning, and there's little point in delaying this announcement, least of all by putting some long winded and pointless phrase or sentence extension here - particularly one that would require commas or even semi-colons to make it at least pretend it obeys grammar - our bed, alas, broke.

why did it break? well, it is fairly old, i suppose. several years, in fact, it could claim. three factors, there can be no doubt, contributed to the breaks that it has had over the years as well as the one today. firstly, my size is not conducive to things of fragility lasting too long under me for extended periods. a dear, former commander-in-chief of mine, one who was at best sexually ambiguous and was perhaps besotted with me on the off chance that i was one of those "bear" gents, called me burly with good reason. secondly, for several years now James and William have used it as a sort of impromptu trampoline and base to do base jumps off. thirdly, of course, i am an avid reader, and sometimes reading gets quite hectic.

an image of the broken bed, in Commodore 64 scan lines mode? sure.

yes, as you can see quite clearly there in the perfection of C64, that's not so much the bed broken as it is in bits and sort of stacked out of the way. stacking it out of the way properly will be my main task tomorrow, or when indeed i can be bothered to do it.

i had every intention of fixing it with my class drill. it was a drill bought just over a year ago, primarily to mend the bed as and when it broke. yes, i do indeed do a lot of reading. anyway, i had the drill ready and that, but when i got the mattress and the board off of it, it was clear it would be drilled no more. the wood was super-split and knacked.

it was then that i recalled the last time i fixed it, i believe earlier this very year, i commented that it would be the last time possible to fix it with the bits we had. i gave brief contemplation to the idea of getting a lumber, timber or general wood merchant to cut and knock up for me the relevant planks that were just totally knacked. a quick search on that google thing, however, indicated that all masters of wood stores were, oddly, many miles away from me. and the bed shop was a good deal closer.

a moment of clarity came and a vision graced me, dear reader. i could indeed have arsed about with new wood and drilling, but it struck me that perhaps the bed broke because it was telling me something other than stop being so heavy, stop letting the boys jump on me and stop being so damned active whilst reading.

what the bed was clearly saying was "you have a new Barbara Streisand 2 CD set that is misprinted. you will at some point want to load it on to the iTwat and listen to it whilst laid upon your bed. Barbs would expect you to get a new bed to do this". and indeed she probably would.

would Barbs be pleased to learn that i had laid and listened to her songs on the same bed that i had listened to other artists on? no. i doubt it. the perfect excuse to get a new one, then, but before we move on let us say farewell to the old bed with the magic of a C64 picture with that dithering mode on.

credit very much where it is due, dear reader. what would you say if i drove to the bed shop, ordered, paid for it and had it delivered within just 1 (one) hour? yeah, impressive anywhere in the world, let alone here, where time concepts and notion would reduce Einstein, Hawking and probably Gandalf to tears.

take a bow, then, Lotters Pine - many thanks indeed for the outstanding service.

and here it is arriving. well, the new mattress and the board are visible in this picture, contrasting nicely against the rustic truck floor.

the chaps who came along were ace. i helped them as far as i could, which was actually a reasonable distance - getting the board base up or peculiar and strange staircase, what with its fascination with tight corners, was a special event indeed.

still, all upstairs, all unpacked, all put together and all ready to go.

yes, it's plain, and yes it is that queen size variant. as what Barbs would wish for, if not just simply expect, she would want queen size, yes? a happy accident that it was only queen size they had in stock, really.

also it was good that they only had plain pine in stock, for i may have by accident bought a colour that Babs does not like, and who knows what would have happened then. we shall no doubt paint it at some point, presumably after listening to so Barbs whilst on it and seeing what strikes us as the shade that Barbs is telling us in song to use. i would imagine black or purple.

those line like things on the headrest look quite smart. would Barbs approve? i think to speculate on that might be a bit of overkill, and i should perhaps for the remainder of this blog not worry so much about what in a bedroom does and does not complement listening to Barbs. but yes.

a new bed, for the reasons outlined above, suggested in many ways new bedding, too. well, why not? it's been at least 4 or so years since i bought a new bedding set for us, probably more. what we have is ok, and does the job, but a change is as good as a rest, some might say.

as for a bottom, fitted sheet, well, what music would not sound good on a purple one?

as for a duvet cover type of thing, well, if i am honest there was not a great deal of choice for us. there was a sort of pretty one with pink butterflies on it that i was very excited about but my (considerably) better half was not quite as excited, but i must stress not displeased.

of the other two, one was a sort of uber-grey or if you like uber-gray affair. it was sort of grey with gray lines, or if you prefer gray with grey lines. not really our sort of thing, really.

the only other choice, then, was one that had a design by the name of Damask on it, whatever that means. i think, i seem to recall in passing, one of the tracks off of the Blade Runner soundtrack has the word Damask in it, maybe even Damask Rose.

so that was the one, then.

would Barbs, and/or whoever Barbs is currently married to (usually an actor), like or approve of this particular bedding set? i have no idea at all, really, and i am increasingly of the opinion that Barbara Streisand does not care what bedding people who listen to her music have, so long as they buy her records. it would be the only reason that she has not given any guidelines on bedding in the booklet that came with the CD that i have not read properly.

but i bet she would like it presented in Commodre 64 scan line mode more than she would like it presented in any other form of picture.

as a Commodore 64 remains the best platform to play either Racing Destruction Set or any variation of any Ghostbusters game on, i am convinced Barbs will have one of those fine computers in her house somewhere. it's probably because she plays those games that she does not tour or record as many albums as a good many fans would like. on a personal level, i really could not care less if she never recorded again; for i am most satisifed with what she has done so far.

good luck to her, if she does record again, of course, but there's no expectations.

right, that's that. please let tomorrow be quiet.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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