Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Spiros (almost) getting his f*****g head kicked in off of a taxi driver

hello there

OK, OK, settle down. i know a great many of you are enthusiastic and excited about news of my mate Spiros and his ambitions of violence involving taxi drivers, so here as soon as i could do an update is an update.for those impatient or in a rush, it went very well indeed, although no heads have been kicked in as such as yet.

one or two of you, in particular those in the know in respect of these matters, for some reason thought that Spiros would not go ahead and present a cabbie, or taxi driver, with a Scottish £5 note. those who did think this simply - and this is not criticism - do not understand Spiros. he is a driven man, and at this point in life he is seeking vengeance against all those of the profession, or if you like trade, of which one of their number accused him of being an Australian in less than complimentary terms.

these pictures were taken by Spiros as he handed over the Scottish Fiver. well, i think they were taken by Spiros. they could just as easily have been taken by the wandering, somewhat confused and bewildered French person that Spiros happened to meet and brought into the taxi with him.

at this point i have to just pause and express how immensely impressed i am with Spiros at this rather interesting elaboration of antagonizing he did. a Scottish Fiver is usually enough in itself to make any happy go lucky, salt of the earth London cabbie lose the plot a bit, but waving one around with a Frenchman involved is guaranteed to cause some considerable distress and upset for them. nice one Spiros, good work, man.

an even more excellent added bonus was, thanks presumably to the presence of the Frenchman, Spiros was able to offer to the taxi driver a special mix of Euro notes as well as the Scottish Fiver.

this, as the somewhat edited picture i have gone with here suggests, did not bring as much pleasure to the taxi driver as you might have thought.

i would not say that Spiros did not believe me as such when i told him that taxi drivers would get upset when presented with Scottish money, despite it being perfectly legal, but he did suspect i was exaggerating how animated and how raised in blood pressure their reaction would be. his experience, and the various comments, suggestions and medically unlikely ideas that the taxi driver offered in response to being presented with such currency has led to Spiros accepting that what i told him would happen was indeed what happened.

it actually sounds like it got very - perhaps over - heated, and of course i am somewhat concerned for the health and well being of my friend, despite how amusing, of course, the idea of him getting his f*****g head kicked in off a taxi driver is. amusing in theory, but not in reality.

that said, when i informed him that more Scottish money was on the way and told him if he just deposited it in the bank, he said no chance, and off he shall be going to offer it to another taxi driver to see what happens.

you want a video of this? sure, why not. Spiros could not take very much, and it is of somewhat poor quality, but why not, he made it and sent it, so here it is.

he should get the next, last for now, note of Scottish money before this week has ended, and i would imagine he will be off using it as soon as possible. should i get any more ace videos or pictures i will of course share as soon as i can, and relay as best and as truthfully as possible his account of the adventure. well, either i will do that, or simply post a link to the relevant news story if the matter gets out of hand.

i trust all of those interested in this have been most pleased with this update.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Mad Max Fury Road trailer screens

hi there

well, this does what it says on the box, so anything i write will be mostly irrelevant; you wish to see the pictures. if any of you do read my comments then that's nice.

here we go then. man, do we really have to wait a year for this?

if this is locked, loaded and ready to release, then Warner Bros are being insane holding on to next year to release. there are no major blockbusters of consequence this year. next year sees all sorts of Jurassic Park, Terminator, Star Wars and Avengers stuff. please don't let a film looking this awesome get neglected amongst all those huge titles.

and it does look awesome.

yeah, that's the V8 that got blown up in Mad Max 2, presumably. no continuity? so? neither of the other sequels really made all that much sense in respect of continuity, when you think about it. that's the deal. "do you want more Mad Max? yes? then shut up and enjoy".

besides, looks like it gets all knacked again quickly anyway.

it looks like there's a stack of mega, ace, class car action. and yes, this is coming from someone with no interest at all in cars, or car films. but it is Mad Max, you lot. every second is to be embraced and loved, look you see.

the thing that strikes me about this trailer is that they have the beautiful colours down to perfection, such an undervalued element of Mad Max 2.

oh, here's the shaven headed Charlize. she got quite stroppy about needing to shave her head for this part. no idea why, she looks awesome and is now part of an awesome film series. a haircut is not exactly a big price to pay for that kind of immortality.

* SPOILER ALERT * in one of the scenes in the trailer / "comic con footage" there's a captured Max tied down having something written / tattooed on his back. here's a look.

looks like it is some sort of medical state of Max being put on him? a nice touch that it says "Road Warrior" at the bottom, there.

i think i read some sort of plot about the two mighty warrior tribes being split amongst the healthy and those of an unhealthy state, but who cares? it has Mad Max in it, and mental warriors of the wasteland smashing trucks and cars into each other.

there is, apparently, no surprise return for Mel Gibson in this, but one or two of the cast from the original films crop up. here's hoping the Feral Kid, now presumably the Tame Middle Aged Man, is one of them. a confirmed one is Toe Cutter out of the original film, although in a different role.

this, going on those eyes and that scowl, is unmistakably him.

if you are noticing a distinct lack of Mad Max in these images, that would be because there's a distinct lack of him in the trailer. should we be worried about this? i very much doubt it. this whole footage / trailer thing basically gives you the entire film, they have to hold something back.

as for what the whole entire film is, it looks pretty much like they have gone right ahead and simply updated, modified and remade Mad Max 2. and why not, for it was brilliant, and really that's all anyone wanted.

references to the other films - in particular Mad Max 2 - seem to be the order of the day, right down to this lady, who has more than a passing resemblance to one of the more prominent members of the clan defending the oil refinery.

i suppose we've waited 30 (!) years for a new Mad Max film, another year is not so bad. but it is now that we have been teased with this, and news that the finished film is complete and ready to show.

oh look, we have been good, so at the end they give us a fairly clear shot of Tom Hardy as Mad Max.

what do i say of this casting? wow, really. just pure genius. he is unmistakably Mad Max, but he is also clearly not a homage or pastiche to Mel Gibson. a unique look that is, yet, also familiar. spot on, perfect, brilliant, outstanding work, great vision to cast him.

chances of this film being bad or awful? none, really. i have every confidence that Warner will have clocked that the source material is not this PG-13 business, and everything in the trailer says they have once again embraced the raw, brutal, magisterial violence and mayhem that made the first three so fondly treasured.

i trust and hope you are as excited as i am.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 28, 2014

books of the bus trips

hi there

blimey, this blog is all of a sudden hitting a useful and practical streak. sorry about that.

hot on the heels of a review of the ipod pouches, or if you like pouches for the pod of i, here are some more book reviews for you. it's a trifle presumptuous of me to assume these are any good or of use, but you never know,  it might help some decide to read, or not read, a book.

as has become the norm for some reason i don't quite understand, i have read three books since my last review sessions, so here we go. actually, four - i read something on my e-reader called The Doomsday Testament or something like that; not spectacular.

do you wish for, or desire (if that's not the same thing) a brief, spoiler free sort of review? sure. The Jonah was superb, Night Train To Rigel was awful, The Heretic's Treasure was ludicrous, preposterous and enormous fun.

i will of course try and avoid spoilers as far as possible, then, but you have been warned. and, indeed, why not, have another warning on me.


right, i cannot make it any clearer at all than that about possible spoilers. actually i could if i made a video or something but i cannot be bothered to. perhaps next time. so let's move on.

it is, as regular readers will recall, fairly recently that i have discovered James Herbert. late last year my (considerably) better half suggested i read The Magic Cottage, and it was that good i regretted not trying his stuff sooner. i am, however, making up for that these days.

i have not been disappointed with any of his novels that i have read, and The Jonah did not buck this trend.

plot? a copper, whose name escapes me, is nicknamed The Jonah because, apparently, he is bad luck for all who work with him. i am not quite sure i get the reference - Moby Dick related, maybe? anyway, after one too many bits of bad luck, he's exiled off to a sleepy, nothing particularly happens sort of coastal town; a town which now seems to have quite an issue with LSD, since a family had apparently gone bonkers on the stuff. by co-incidence, some top level government lady type is also there investigating, due to a misunderstanding between a pilot and one of them massive bomber plane things, also believed to be as a consequence of that LSD stuff.

there's all sorts of spooky supernatural stuff, too, of course, but at heart a rather brilliant detective crime sort of thing. of interest to some, i suspect, will be that this also features one of the most superbly crafted, well written, graphic yet not horrid, vile or stupid sex scenes that i have ever read. not that i have read all that many; video tends to cover that one somewhat.

do i recommenced this book? what do you think? i very much look forward to reading the next James Herbert i find. hopefully another paperback will turn up at a splendid price (this was bought as part of a 3 for £5 deal), otherwise i will just seek them out on the e-reader.

a gift from a friend, that very same strong advocate of my reading on the bus that has forwarded books in the past, presented me with this one. yes, it is by Timothy Zahn, Mr "writer of the best selling non-Star Wars Star Wars novel of all time", he who wrote that other one i read a while back about humans breeding with space whales or something.

for those interested, note number one is on the way to Spiros. regular readers will understand this and be very excited.

Manta's Gift. that was the space whale thing. that book was OK when i read it. in comparison to Night Train To Rigel, however, it seems like an unbelievably brilliant, amazing novel. yes, this one, alas, is just awful. which is a shame - not so much because i spent time reading this specially annotated version, but rather due to the idea and the plot actually holding a great deal of promise.

just how bad is it? if asked i would normally say yeah, i am quite a fan of science fiction in general. if Timothy Zahn constitutes as what you kids all think science fiction is, though, i might be mistaken in this regard. perhaps i missed the meeting where they changed the definition of science fiction? i did with R & B. one night i went to bed and R & B referred to proper music, be it The Who, or John Mayall, or similar. when i woke up MTV or someone had changed it to refer to talent-free, mediocre whiny black American singers who use tiresome samples as backing music for their chanting. hey ho.

Night Train to Rigel is ostensibly a Blade Runner type rip off, a noir thriller set in the future. it should have been a really good one too, with the man of action running about attempting to avert a war that some sort of spiders who run the space trains (don't ask) have had a vision or prophecy of.

no, the spiders and the humans do not cross-breed. well, not directly, mercy be, at the least.

why does it fail? lots of reasons. the most blatant of all would be the stupid title. although yes it features a train, it's difficult to say that it is a "night" train, for it is a super-stellar, universe crossing thing that moves at the speed of light. also, this "to Rigel" business. as far as i could work out and see, there was no place, planet or person in the novel called Rigel. as in the train, thus, never actually went there. i suspect this is all Men Without Hats. Men Without Hats, a band of some limited talent that Spiros is fond of, were called Men Without Hate. however, a typo at the record contract thing meant Hats not Hate was typed, and the label made them stick with their new name. i suspect that out there somewhere is a novel about a night train that goes to some place called Nigel, but it has a cover which suggests its name is Space Spiders And The Star Train.

it does that horrible, horrible thing that lazy science fiction does, this book, look you see. it makes up species and characters with unpronounceable names and descriptions so poor you forget who is who, thus losing all focus, concentration and idea of what the plot is and what's actually happening at any point. by the 60% or so mark i really was ready to just give up, but for some reason i always feel obliged to finish any book i start. except i don't always.

i am thrilled that Timothy Zahn sells so many books, good luck to him. but i have no wish to read any of his stuff ever again.

anyway, that ipod pouch that was not as twat look enhancing. today i tested it, right, works just fine. observe.

it did not snap, and it works lovely. granted, sure, i did change by chair at verk for luck with it, but even when i sat on the old one for a bit it didn't catch or seem likely to break.

i certainly need to get the rubber / silicone / asbestos casing for it though, for times when i take it out to select different vibes. otherwise, smart this is.

last book for now, then, and it's a load of nonsense, but enormous fun. yeah, as you can see, it's The Heretic's Treasure, with the title in a font that seems to match our current bedding in regards of colour. always a good selling point, that.

this novel is that thing i dislike, which is an unnumbered volume in a series of books. i read the first to feature the protagonist, Ben Hope i think his name is, something called The Alchemist's Secret or something similar. this is two or three novels in to the series. what did i miss? quite a bit, really, and as his previous adventures and "life events" are randomly given a summary throughout the book, there is very little point in me ever seeking them out. whoops.

what's this one all about? Ben Hope, former SAS dude and now kidnap rescue dude, gets a call off some sort of military type that had previously saved his life. he calls in a favour for having done that, asking him to go off to Egypt and totally knack some people who have apparently caused him some distress. he does this, and accidentally stumbles into all sorts of things, as in the illegal international arms trade, Egyptian fundamentalist terrorism, Australian archers, a forgotten Pharaoh and rogue Interpol agents.

you know full well that the hero is not going to die, so the element of suspense is all but gone. instead you get to read and wonder who near him will die, and what treasure that has been lost for thousands of years will be discovered in a day or so.

that Dan Brown is referenced on the cover means you know what you are getting, only better written.

anyway, if any of the above information has been of use to Will Robinson or anyone else, happy days. as a means of a sneak preview, here you go, next i shall be reading what is possibly the greatest book ever written.

'Danish crime novel of the decade' is quite a title. as i imagine Danish land, or whatever it is - Norway or something - is awash with crime novels, this must then be pretty spectacular. and it only cost £1, so there you go.

many thanks, as ever, for reading.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

ipod classic pouch review

hello there

that this has a proper title possibly warns you, dearest of regular reader, that this is more or less a "proper" blog post as such, written in a way to be of any sort of help to them crazy kids that do a google and that ending up here looking for information. i always get a touch annoyed when i can't find decent reviews on products that have the info i want, so the least i can do is try and write what i would want to see.

as the more regular of reader will recall, i have been having something of a plight thing going on of late in looking for cases or pouches for my iPod classic. none of the stalls or shops carry anything at all for this model - as point of fact most places say "rather buy one for that online". the iPod classic is obviously not of the biggest market, then, which is a shame as it remains the only genuinely, no questions asked decent product that Apple make.

after a couple of ill-fated efforts to use very cheap items not designed as cases, and exhausting all stores that might sell some, i took the plunge and ordered not one, not three, but two cases, pouches or whatever you want to call them. the links here are purely to show what exactly i bought; i have not been in any way sponsored or paid. quite the opposite, as we shall see.

first off, then, the one i was most excited about. it is one for a belt that goes on a belt properly, as in not a clip. i didn't like the idea of a clip at all; they tend to break off and that.

here's the USA Gear FlexARMOUR universal and unisex pouch then, one that i paid £7.99 for, which i considered to be "about right". it seemed to serve the purpose for what i wanted.

it features, apparently, neoprene padding (whatever that is), and many pouches, zips and pockets to shove whatever you want in.

i am baffled, as this is not model specific, as to why no store at all that i visited - and there were several - does not simply keep some of these on hand to flog for profit. for the non-standard, non-trendy and non-popular device, this pouch is surely the sort of thing more than just i would be looking for. if so much as one person hits this via a google thing, well that kind of shows that it's not just me, does it not? and many thanks for reading, if you are here looking for information on this sort of pouch. it means that i am not quite so alone in the world as it sometimes feels.

the most important element i was looking for in this was, of course, the belt strap element. or belt loop, i suppose, since the idea is that one feeds their belt through this, rather than one attaching it via a clip to the belt in question.

i have given it a quick test and it seems to sit very fine indeed on the belt, not showing too much strain, bending or flexing as i sit and walk. the big test will be tomorrow, of course.

it looks as sturdy and as strong as one can make it, really. the strap allows for any reasonable size of belt to go through, and when on it seems accessible enough without being either too tight or too loose.

i think this will hold, at least hold better than the £1 effort that i tried. i know this picture does not show it off as well as it could have - sorry - but there's two lines of stitching at the top and and the bottom. i would suggest - and i might regret this, but i am confident - that this makes it pretty secure, as it is unlikely that both at the top or both at the bottom would snap at the same time, meaning it's reasonably safe to assume that at least one of the lines of stitching at the top and one at the bottom will hold steady should one for some reason snap. if not, well, i suppose one will find out on that neoprene padding front, really.

every dream has a price, however. the price i seem to have to pay, beyond the mentioned coins of money, to have something that goes on my belt is some slight annoyances, and things that could be a problem.

first off, it is a single zip. a double would be ace, as that would allow one to draw them to meet at the headphone point. alas no. to zip it up as much as you can you have to put the iPod in it facing down, and even then, as you can see, it leaves quite a gap.

this could be a bit of a problem in the more wetter of conditions, as rare as rain and that are here. again, it's a bit of a downside to the fact that it's a universal styled accessory; there's no way to make it so it's 100% perfect for each and every device out there.

in following on from that, whereas the iPod fits in to this pouch, understand it is not a made to measure, bespoke design for it. the iPod is always going to be a touch loose. so if you have a zip accident or malfunction, she will go tumbling and falling to the ground out of this fancy neoprene safety zone.

it would probably be wise, prudent even, to invest in one of them "skin" rubber or silicone cases for the iPod then. i think i shall throw a few coins at one, just to try and be as safe as i can with it, should it fall. i am not quite so cavalier and excited about the idea of dropping iPod devices to see what happens as my (considerably) better half is. i shall not bore you with the details, but see if i buy her one again.

overall - without a full on field test - this is going to do what i wanted. sure, it means faffing, taking it out to change tunes and that, but then more fault me for not making a playlist i suppose. it seems that it is going to stay on my belt in a most secure way, and that's what i have been looking for.

on then, to the other pouch. the one that i was most intrigued by, but was and am fairly sure will make me seem to look a twat, or more of a twat than usual. yes, the armband pouch for the iPod classic.

whereas ostensibly it is for practical purposes, such as joggers and that, it is not every company that rushes to see if they can have armbands associated with them, due to certain historical reasons that most would prefer not to associate with. Apple, of course, are at heart all about brainwashing people into how their lame ideas make people superior, so there is a touch of the fitting and indeed apt to this.

here we go with neoprene again, whatever it is. i purchased the iGadgitz water resistant sports jogging whatever model of pouch for £9.04. and i see a few days later they have dropped the price to £7.99. swines.

it's pretty good, with one major potential problem. well, one potential problem other than looking like a complete and utter twat wearing it. we shall get to that, but in the mean time there's a quick and easy review for those of you in some sort of rush.

how does the iPod fit in? very well indeed. purpose built and made this is, look you see, so it goes in very well. as in, this is for the iPod classic only; if you have a different model of iPod - this "touch" nonsense, for instance - make sure you get one made for yours.

it allows perfect access at the top to the headphone port and the lock switch, and indeed at the bottom for the 30 PIN thing that Apple made and are trying to get rid of. very handy, really - if you are all that bothered about keeping your iPod in an armband on a permanent basis, there's no need to ever take it out.

it is a snug fit, mind - i suspect it may not fit in properly if you do have one of them "skins" on it.

as i think that picture shows off somewhat, the iPod is held in very well indeed. 10 out of 10 for the safety and security element, then - no loose wobbles.

and, of course, behold - the device attached to the arm, as intended.

hmn. i suspected that this thing would actually bend, weaken and break the headphone jack at the point that it goes into the iPod, but i have to say has been designed really well, and it doesn't do that.

also, i have to confess, it's awesome turning your arm to mess around with the dial and that. it's like something Boba Fett, or Predator even, would have on the go. i even tried making ace Predator noises as i did it. which is awesome. except i am 41, and a 41 year old chap sitting on a bus making ace Predator noises as they operate a vintage iPod is perhaps not a common thing.

the potential downside? the strap. here's a pic. oh, by the way, an actual downside - the elastic like bit at the top of this next picture is where you can supposedly store the headphones. nonsense, you won't fit them in there, no chance.

the strap is quite short on this model. as in to put it on properly it was ultra tight, feeling like one of them blood pressure machine band things in a state of near full inflation. i am big, but i wouldn't describe myself as muscular - certainly not as muscular as those this is aimed at.

the fold over strap is quite class, and adds to the security and safety of it. i note cheap models go straight velcro, with no fold over element as such. but i suspect the downside is that many will feel this a quite tight fit.

so, despite the fact that it accentuates, indeed amplifies, how much of a twat one looks, and even though it's a bit of a tight fit, i really rather like this one. it feels OK on the arm, and that ease of access is amazing.

so, there you have it. for the most part - until it snaps - i will be using that belt one, as it seems most convenient and the least dick-looking like. i shall have to investigate and purchase one of them skin thing cases for it, mind - the iPod not the case - but they seem cheap enough. 

hope this has been of use to anyone also looking to carry around the more vintage yet considerably better version of the iPod!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

staring at the sea

hello there

oddly enough i am sat here with some new pod of i pouches, but i suspect that you are somewhat fed up on that subject for the time being. as and when i have given them a test run i will do some sort of review, maybe, but for now i suspect this will all be of more general interest.

it was a most glorious day, or if you like day of glory, yesterday, which was reason in itself to ride along to the coast. we had other reason, sure, but it being a most splendid day in regards of the kindness of the weather just really accentuated all of that, look you see.

an exceptionally warm day it was, with little or no respite from any sort of wind, but all the same William got it into his head that his hat might get blown off at any point, and so took protective measures.

James, as you can see, rather had every confidence that the integrity of his rather smart cap would mean that it stayed where he wanted to without holding on.

at which point of the coast were we at? well, some of you should be able to work it out with no problem, for anyone else i guess you will just have to do some research. which these pictures should allow you to do with ease.

on our last visit to this place, earlier in the year as opposed to the one that we will no doubt again make in the future, you may recall mention was made of the cliff lift not being functional. if, that is, i mentioned it in the last post. anyway, then there was promise that it would work, and indeed it was working.

ask anyone at all about this cliff lift and invariably the first comment prompted is "it's too expensive". no it is not, neither for what it is or for how it saves you the otherwise steep walk up and down. £1 for an adult and 50p for a child is not an extravagant or wasteful cost at all, even if some of the staff operating it appear to have been somehow welded into a job that they neither like nor care for.

what exactly is the cliff lift? it is a lift that moves one up and down a cliff. it uses some sort of water, or hydro, or even hydraulics source of power. very class it is, to tell the truth.

at the base camp of the cliff lift, or if you like the lift of cliff, there was of course that magnificent cut out thing where you can stick your head through and have a picture taken. so we did.

how, you may ask, was it at all possible for all four of us to be in a picture at the same time? someone else operated my blueberry for us, which was kind. who? difficult to say, really, as they got a bit upset when i mentioned them as a passing stranger last time. someone of significance, then, is that ok?

wandering along with this post, then, and my (considerably) better half and William found a car that they both rather like. both went so far, as point of fact, to say that this would be ideal as our next car.

erm, yes. i was led to believe that my (considerably) better half was presently considering other cars for us to conduct our car business in for the purpose of needing a larger one. the boys are not, as evolution has it, getting any smaller at all, and so i was led to believe we were in the market for one of them larger, "people carrier", land crusader of the suburbs type of things. preferably with a sliding door, as they are ace, them.

i would not proffer any skill on the side of cars on my behalf, but the above model, as purple as it is roof free, does not strike me as the sort of thing either intended or frequently used for family use. hey ho, perhaps when my (considerably) better half is of an age that a mid-life crisis is inevitable, or the boys are of an age that they don't wish to drive around with us, she can get one.

onwards towards this sea i mentioned, then, or if you like one of them inlet or stream sort of things that feeds it, or whatever it does. i think only recently i mentioned that i had a grade D in geography and that, so if you want the specifics i am afraid you are in the wrong place.

my (considerably) better half noted some flat stones of a flat nature, and so decided to engage in the fine art of skimming, or skipping, them across the body of water. this is a fine art, and one that several of you will do, but what you call it is probably dependant on what is the nearest ocean to you.

efforts were, as you might expect, made to teach the boys how to do this.

there was a momentary, almost passing interest from both of them in how cool, awesome, epic and all that it was to make a stone bounce across the water. they, however, soon clocked that it was all basically them being told they were not only allowed, but were being actively encouraged, to throw stones into water.

as this video more or less shows off, the pretence of even trying to skim or skip the stones soon fell away, and off they went, throwing stones at will at the water.

yeah, we probably should have stopped them from doing it, but alas did not. besides, they hardly hit anyone at all, and only hit each other once or twice.

those of you browsing this off of one of them Apple products will not, of course, be able to watch the video, due to the class and excellent limitations of that Safari thing they have on it.

to, in some small way, make up for that, here's a temperature reading off of one of them Apple things. no, i do not have an Apple thing that does the weather and that; someone else kindly took this image off of their one and sent it on.

see, i told you, it does get hot in England. actually, more super humid than it does hot, which is very draining and somewhat annoying. it is a draining annoyance, however, that i shall look back at with nothing less than longing as and when the snow lands. my heart shall harbour a firm and ardent desire to see humidity return. not the remainder of my family, the 75% you all like more than you like me, of course. they think that all this snow stuff is going to be excellent, brilliant, mint and what have you. we shall see, shan't we just, when it lands.

i do worry about how my mate Spiros will get on when the snow lands, as it does not usually bring with it a temperature that favours the naturalist sort of life he leads, or his penchant for sleeping in hedges. actually i don't worry about him, he will be swilling methylated spirits no doubt, that should keep him warm.

for reasons i have never understood some of you like to see me sometimes, so here is a quick selfie i took with a cliff of some significance, indeed importance, in the background.

well, obviously in the background. if it were in the foreground it would, as large as i might be, surely hide me from sight all together. and i doubt i would be able to get my arm around a cliff to take a selfie, anyway.

if i look all hot and sweaty in the above, that would be because, as i may have mentioned earlier, it was a hot and sweaty day. quite warm it was.

our voyage to the coast was made all the more, indeed perhaps entirely, legal by key elements in this picture here.

when not throwing things into the oceans, seas and streams of the world, William really, really likes picking things up, opening them, pulling them, that sort of thing. his most recent triumph in this respect was, for reasons he has not shared with us, grabbing the number plate on our current car and yanking it off. we are really unsure as to what his hope or wish was in doing this, but we were fairly sure that the constabulary proudly serving the area were unlikely to be all that amused with a car driving around - by a woman, no less - with no number plate attached to one side of it. the scissors and the double sided tape you can see here helped me reattach it in an almost legal way, with the twig you can see being deployed as a sort of diving rod thing to help me out.

many people i know, Jayson in particular, will no doubt be impressed - and maybe take some pride - by the fact that i can now, apparently, do some rudimentary, basic car repair work. i have learnt much from my dear mechanics, thank you.

wandering around away from the delights of throwing things into the sea and there was a whole load of them sort of carnival, fun fair things on offer. one or two of them were not price at eye-watering levels, which was a very nice touch.

the boys had a go with some bow and arrow things, and indeed firearms, but i felt it best just to try and get a picture of them bolting around one of them smart funhouse things.

yeah, it was tricky to get them both in the same picture, sorry.

how much? £2 each, and there was no apparent restriction on how many times they could go around or how long they could stay in, but it was late in the day. i think the condition was once they were out that was it, unless they offered more coins of money.

yes, a tempting place to leave them for the day, really.

anyway, just about done here. i had some unrelated pictures to post here, but did not alas. i will use them in a later post, perhaps when i discuss my sensational new pod of i case options. one of them - the cases, not the pictures, is indeed one of the more "twat" ones i have mentioned, and boy is it just.

to finish off, then, my (considerably) better half, loving and living the seaside life.

other than what you have seen here, what we did also, if you are interested, was find parking, have ice cream, ride a train and walk around. a most splendid of afternoons, thanks.

righty-ho, let me investigate these pod of i case things, seeing which is the most suitable and the least twat-like to wear.

hope you all have had a most splendid of weekends!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 25, 2014

on helping my mate Sprios meet his ambition of having his f*****g head kicked in off of a London taxi driver

hello there

right, settle down. yes, i know you are all very excited and indeed very interested in the latest exploits of Spiros and my sheer delight at helping him, but we have a lot of ground to cover here. earlier on, i think yesterday, i posted something for the sake of it, and had forgotten that i had a stack of images from even earlier in the week that i intended to post here.

like, for instance, this one, which is some sort of intersection. actually, it's not some sort of intersection, it is an intersection. not quite so grand and bold as to say as itself it is the intersection, but it is one at the least. or it is a crossroads, i guess, if you are an American and wish to be all American about it.

yeah, i suppose it is all rather like that bit in The Blues Brothers, where The Good Ole Boys simply forget all of their other songs and just do the theme off of Rawhide. the patrons and the establishment manager were most forgiving and appreciative of that particular set of circumstances, to a point at the least, and so i trust you will be just the same.

why this intersection? because it was there, really. i had the phone in my hand for some reason and just decided to take a picture. probably just so i could post it on here no doubt.

but you are more interested in the idea of Spiros getting his f*****g head kicked in off of a taxi driver, aren't you? you know you are and i know you are, so let us get on with it,

i know that to those of you who do not know better this looks like some sort of pretend, play money, but it is legal tender, issued by a bank in Scotland. you should be able to use them without restriction or interference anywhere, as they are perfectly legal.

it does not, alas, always work like that in practice. people in and of England, look you see, have been raised to treat Scottish banknotes with contempt, disdain and suspicion, with most people and shops under the most strictest of instruction to refuse to accept them. the further south you go in England the higher the prejudice level against these notes becomes, with the zenith of this being inside one of them big black taxis they have in London; Hackney Carriages or whatever they are. getting in a London taxi and waving one of these at the driver is like getting in to the taxi and telling the driver something displeasing about the Royal family, or how he should be nice to black people, or that he should stop whining.

Spiros is this very excited about getting into a taxi in London and waving these notes at the driver, explaining that it is all he has and that it is perfectly legal tender. i understand that Spiros and i get a bit Beavis And Butt-Head about things at times, but trust me, this is going to rule. more on that later. or now, if you scroll down i suppose.

if i am ever asked to picture or remember a place from my past - as opposed to my future - there are lots that come to mind. however, this one is one i have vivid memories of, and as i can take a picture of it i suppose it will do.

i recall, at some point in my teens, walking along this embankment, or whatever you call it. it was late September or October, i think - maybe into November. the black of a darkening night, relatively early in the evening, was being fought rather valiantly against by a sort of reddish-orange sense in the sky, a colour accentuated somewhat by those old fashioned, bright orange street-lights that we had before it got all fashionable to put environmentally friendly white ones in. i had my walkman on - would have been Beastie Boys, Sputink or Frankie - and i can recall as i was walking that i would for some reason remember that walk for the rest of my life.

so far that has been the case, which is weird, as nothing of particular interest or consequence happened. i do not even know where or why i was walking, really. probably to see a mate, maybe just to go for a stroll.

anyway, here is some sort of shaving cream foam gel sort of stuff. i believe that they sell it at Morrisons.

for those of you who have instantly assumed, or jumped to the conclusion, that this has something to do with my Dad, well, how very judgemental you are and, indeed, how very correct you are.

i visit Morrisons on a regular basis and i, having a beard and that, do not shave. i think you can guess, then, that this is all to do with him wanting someone to send him some over.

alas, it isn't getting posted. whereas the security agencies of the world seem very happy that toothpaste is OK and poses no threat when posted, it is not quite the same with quasi-aerosol cans with gel in them. they are, it seems, likely to explode in their own right when shipped in the post, and as a consequence they are a nice and easy thing for one to disguise explosives and that in. so no, they won't get getting posted to him then. i am sure someone or other will visit and take as many cans of it as he wishes for; usually it will be a figure measured in pure decimal terms.

yes there is more of Spiros, but not at this very moment.

here is the Brunton Arms. i was reliably informed that some dogging happens here, but i have not seen it myself. i suspect i have not been there at the times that it does, but no one seems particularly keen to let me know exactly when it does.

there were two pubs in close proximity to each other this one, known as the Brunny, and the Southern Cross. basically, as you were growing up, if you were inclined to visit the Southern Cross it was an indicator of you enjoying the social aspect of alcohol. if you were, however, drawn to the Brunnies, it was more a sign that you basically just wanted to get totally hammered by any substance available, really. which one was i drawn to? well, the Brunnies was closer, but really i was more of a four cans of crucial brew in the park sort.

here is a street. yes, officer, i had stopped the car when i took this and all the other pictures. honest.

dear me, i am tired. feels like a long week, especially with it being in mind that the class new bus timetable unleashed on me means an earlier start and a later finish.

perhaps it is time i returned to a vehicle on a regular basis. not a car, we have one. my (considerably) better half enjoys driving around, i do not like driving. maybe i should give in to my wishes and dreams and get myself a class scooter, or a moped thing? yeah, that would be ace - i could Who it, have all the mirrors and that on. however, i would not be able to read on it as i went about. actually i probably could, but the constabulary and other motorists would probably go right ahead and get all Australian about it if i did. so perhaps it is best if i just stick to the bus.

the shops at The Avenue, or should i say the shop in the singular, for i am led to believe that only the chippie that is in the corner is still a going concern. very sad, it used to be thriving.

the wine lodge, or if you like offy, that was there were in fact very, very helpful in respect of providing cans of crucial brew, irrespective of any sort of correct correlation between the law and the age of the purchaser. which might, now that one thinks about it, be why they are closed. oh, whoops. anyway, never mind, that does not explain why all the other shops were closed down. the sort of Mr Patel out of 8 Ace in Viz mini-market there used to have some class video tapes to rent, and they too had a somewhat ambivalent approach to making sure there was a correct correlation between age of renter and age that was allowed to rent. hey ho, happy days.

i am led to believe that the area where these shops are is populated for the most part by footballers who are, to put it mildly, seldom short of money. as a consequence of their opulence, they probably despatch their people to buy items from more luxurious places, such as Marton and Ormesby, in order to give it that "imported" feel and show off how flash they are.

speaking of which, it has been all quiet from Duran Duran lately, bar the fact that they are engaged in some sort of class lawsuit against their fan club. i think the value of the lawsuit is twenty grand, so it must be a "but it's the principle" of it thing, as twenty grand is the sort of money i suspect that Simon Le Bon spends on [TEXT REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE] and John Taylor spends on [TEXT REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE] before either get out of bed.

anyway, they presumably decided not to sue whoever it was that made this beer that pays tribute to one of their better known albums.

i am sure it's a smart ale, that. all beers that have them metal caps on the top instead of a proper lid are always fancy and exotic and thus they must taste good.

i seem to have taken quite a few pictures of roads, here is another.

sorry, i am really tired. i dare say i had some dull and great story, but i have forgotten whatever it was.

anyway, you want more Spiros and you know you do.

i shall be forwarding these bank notes, very kindly provided to me by a good friend, to Spiros in the very near future. he is exceptionally excited about it all, and is looking forward to using them. or, at least i suppose, trying to use them.

why is it that Spiros wants to get his f*****g head kicked in off of a taxi driver? it's not for me to question or ask, really. he's a mate, and so i wish to support him in anything he wants to do. i am always delighted to help him reach all his dreams. i must confess starting a fight with a London taxi driver does not have much appeal for me, and does not sound like the sort of thing that is all that difficult to get involved in, but if he feels that he needs some extra help in starting a fight, i am very happy indeed to help out. with the greatest thanks, as mentioned to a very good friend who arranged for these notes for me.

i have to be honest and say that the idea of Spiros getting his f*****g head kicked in by a London taxi driver is, to me, exciting. it is the sort of thing i would very much like to watch, although i suspect that what will happen is that Spiros will give the cabbie a right good hiding. he is a bit tasty, is Spiros, and can handle himself.

Nunthorpe Shops, then. in healthier times, the kids could go here from school and by a bag of crisps and half a loaf of bread for lunch. i suspect they now make them eat broccoli and other such rubbish.

is the bakery that sold these items still a going concern? no idea, sorry. would be nice if it is, but not a shock if not.

i imagined that a few of my friends, of those that had reason to pause and reconsider me, might appreciate this image. it is entirely possible that Jonathan features amongst that number, and i make reference to him with very good reason, as it links in quite nicely with the next section. but i will write a bit more here so you forget that i said that and you don't notice how it all in a seamless way just sort of blends in and works very well indeed sort of. if you are still reading.

Jonathan recently mentioned Tizer, which is what reminded me that i had taken these pictures, look you see.

Tizer has an exciting name, and a very glamorous if not sophisticated image, but it was never something that i liked. i was always more of a Lilt or a Quattro man, really. mostly Quattro.

you can still get the Lilt, but Quattro seems to have vanished from the world. i have not seen it for sale anywhere, which is a shame, as i would have bought some. no, i did not buy any Tizer, and no now that i think i did not purchase any Lilt either. i might, i suppose, as and when i next go to the shops. which will probably be at some point within the next 48 hours, probably more than once too.

one thing that has always interested me in life is when people have had the audacity, the nerve if you like, to dare to assume and presume to be able to speak on behalf of others that they are not connected to. most commonly, of course, this relates to issues of race, since few are brave enough to speak of other religions and things like that. more often than not it involves someone imposing their own values and outlook, or what they think is their values, or what they want their values to be seen as, on other people. an exceptionally pious and self-indulgent thing to do. and often misplaced.

i, in my imagination, would go right ahead and assume that such pious types, usually white middle class sorts (of which i may be a member, i don't know, judge away if bored) who made a fuss and ensured that the golliwog was branded racist and banned from appearance and sale have in their innocence or ignorance no issue whatsoever in buying this and spreading it all over their turkey, chicken, duck or whatever they eat.

my apologies to friends around the world, in particular in South Africa, who know only too well what this word means and represents. it is, quite frankly, disgusting and a disgrace that such a name is allowed to be applied to a product and put on sale. i don't care about "ah, but history" and "ah, but it doesn't mean that in this sense". the same can be said of many other words and images that have been banned or struck from public use.

apologies for the rant if needed, no apologies for any "well, really" types who believe that they should free to impose their own values and beliefs about what is and is not offensive to others.

dear me, i am tired. anyway, there are still some pictures here, so let me press on.

here is a building at an unusual angle that some of you may well recognize.

even though of course i was perfectly legally parked and that when  i took the picture, it might have seemed like i was not, and there might have been some swerving going on. the kind of swerving that, for instance and to a degree hypothetically, upsets lorry drivers. so i decided to stop with the pictures at this point.

some of you have a most peculiar wish to see me from time to time, so here i am, in a picture that isn't a selfie for a change but was rather taken by my (considerably) better half.

yes, that's a standard Sunday afternoon lunch thing for me. salt and pepper bread rolls, a doughnut with raspberry "flavoured" things in it, and of course an Eccles cake. all gently washed down with some tea. lovely.

we normally have chicken or something later, in case you are worried about a balanced diet and all that sort of stuff. although this weekend we may well dine upon half a loaf of bread with crisps.

let us finish off, then, with an image of one of them Subway places.

i had a rather fine lunch at a Subway today, as it happens. really smart, it was. thanks.

part of me wishes to prepare the letter to Spiros now, forwarding the illicit money to him so that he can, as soon as possible, upset a London taxi driver and get into a fight with him. i suspect it will have to wait, however. if he only gets it later on next week then that will be fine, i am sure in the mean time he will be able to conjure up or work out a way of upsetting them without waving Scottish currency about. just being their, by all accounts, seems to be quite enough to upset them. which is odd, considering the reasonable and unassuming nature that London taxi drivers have such a reputation for.

right, bed i think.

more as and when something of interest happens, and with some luck Spiros will take pictures of it when he uses the Scottish currency so i can post it here.

no idea why you do, but many thanks for reading.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!