Tuesday, October 08, 2013

wrapping random chocolates in clingfilm whilst listening to Barbara Streisand

howdy doody

well, they say every single fetish, no matter how banal, peverse, unusual or common, exists and is catered for on the internet. i dare not google the term used as the title of this post here myself, but thought i would provide images of this for those with a keen interest in doing this.

if you have hit this page by a google search for the above you no doubt want the, for want of a better phrase, "hardest" picture of this unusual activity, so let me not trouble you with any more of my nonsense - here's the full on wrapped effect, along with the Barbs CD booklet thingie.

why would you wrap chocolate, selected mostly at random, whilst listening to Streisand? well, why would you not do it, really? there are no laws against it, so far as i know, and it does not seem to hurt anyone. well, not anyone that doesn't want to be hurt whilst doing it.

are these items being wrapped as part of some warped scheme to throw them at the mercy of the postal system, in either the hope of or just to see if they arrive? perhaps.

if the latter might be true, they will need help. and what better help could there be than an image, Commodore 64 style, of David Bowie doing that well known Cliff Richard song, The Lord's Prayer, at the Freddie Mercury concert from a couple of decades or so ago?

as both clingfilm and chocolates exist, it seems sensible, if not logical, to simply combine the two. that way you can say "i have chocolates wrapped in clingfilm" instead of wasting time saying "i have some chocolates, and also clingfilm" or even indeed "i have clingfilm, also chocolates". my way evokes a much more interesting sequence of images in the audience, i think you will find.

why Barbs? well, some of you may well have read of the fascinating trial by patience i faced to buy a rather nice Barbs collection. for those of you wanting to read of this trial by patience, clicking here is the way to get to it.

i understand, by the way, why the discs were in this mythical storeroom that the chap was too scared or too lazy to venture in to. it seems the discs are the subject of a curious misprint, where disc one is labelled disc two, and indeed the reverse is true.

not all people who purchase compact discs are morons, i would hope. would it not have been easier for them to put a sticker on the box saying "please note that the discs are mislabelled"? that makes more sense than hiding them away and making customers engage in a battle of wits to get their hands on it.

yes, it was quite scary when i had prepared my vocals to singalong with Barbs (and one of them Bee Gees) to Woman In Love only for A Sleepin' Bee to come on instead. i am a professional, though, and i rise above such things. i simply switched discs and got on with it.

as i did with wrapping chocolate in clingfilm. oh look, a peppermint crisp thing.

and, in the majesty of Commodore 64 style scan lines, a crunchie bar thingie about to be wrapped with a most magnificent image of Barbs looking most Barbs there to give inspiration and guidance.

this was indeed an ambitious, exotic and strange thing that i was doing. to be safe, it is perhaps best to once again evoke, or maybe just present, an image of Bowie doing his thing again. it will be our guardian and our protector.

yeah, i think it's becoming very clear that i am running out of things of consequence to say about wrapping up chocolate in clingfilm whilst listening to Barbara Streisand.

oh look, scan lines on the box of astros.

well, if you have enjoyed this, or found that the concept here has in some way addressed a curiosity that you were too shy or nervous to embark on resolving yourself, so much the better. if for some reason you've found this arousing if not titillating, i suspect it would on the whole be very much appreciated if you could keep that sensation very much to yourself.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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