Tuesday, April 01, 2014

this will suck

hello there

well, April 1 seems pretty appropriate to do this post. those of you who have in some way been horrified by my research and work in finding the rather more modest priced cigarettes will no doubt be thrilled by this, whereas some might think, assume or hope it all is a sort of April Fool thing.

i feel, writing this, like one of them people that stands up and confesses something at a support group. let me see how it goes. i believe it is time to accept that quitting smoking is the way forward for your humble narrator.

yeah, let's let that sink in for a while.

why? no, not why let it sink in, why, you know, quit. i would love to say something as intelligent as it being all about health reasons, but honestly it is a more financially motivated one. as we have seen, dear reader, in a number of posts, cigarettes are uber-expensive here, look you see. there is little doubt, though, that at some stage my health; or what remains of it, will be much obliged to the UK Government and their tax orgy one day as a consequence.

quitting smoking, there i said it again, i believe is a tough thing to do. oh dear. expect even higher levels of moaning and whining on this blog, then, i guess! i will be looking for all the help i can get, really. to this end, yes of course i have got some gadgets. it would, i suspect, upset a few of you if there were not some pictures here to go with my grumbles.


this would be "nicotine replacement" gum, except it isn't a replacement as it has nicotine in it. i think what's missing is the tar, asbestos, rocket fuel and heroin certain parties around the world claim as being an integral part of cigarettes.

have i tried this gum? yes i have. the first go was very interesting, really - very interesting indeed. chewing it brought about the "freshmint" taste promised. but also a sort of numbing yet tingling, buzzing kind of sensation. wow, man. something close to heart palpatations also kicked in.

does it work as a replacement for cigarettes? i think it might. it certainly warded off the desires to have one immediately, but as i still have one or two cigarettes available to me it is difficult to say yeah, it did the job. "stop buying cigarettes, then" would be a wise comment to make to see if they can be a long term replacement. as a box of 105 pieces of this gum costs about twenty pounds, though, i am not at all sure it is a viable, long term replacement.

oh hell yes of course these pictures are presented in the mode of Commodore 64. why would i treat the subject matter and content with anything else but some scan line magic?


quite possibly very likely to work, peeps, look you see, is the device known as the e-cigarette, or if you are a trendy, fashion time, a "vape" machine. i believe ardent non-smokers are even taken to this "vape" business.

have i used this one? oh yes indeed i have, and my (considerably) better half has too. result? pretty good, really. it mimics the phsyical act of smoking very well indeed, and is not at all unpleasant. one inhales and all that sort of thing whilst holding it. look you see, which makes it very cigarette-esque.

which of the many e-cigarettes out there did i get? the cheapest. i, like i suspect many smokers, doubted such a thing would be viable. i wanted to experiment with a cheap one then. i think this is called a Gamucci or something similar; a name no doubt conjured up to create an image of a stylish, Italian type of lifestyle. if Gamucci is indeed an Italian sort of name. it sounds like it to me. well, whatever it is supposed to suggest, it was cheap.

the cheapness of this e-cigarette is reflected, quite frankly, in its massive size. it is kind of like trying to hold and smoke a cigar, really. a bit of a downside. the ones that cost a bit more look more or less the same size, and presumably have a similar weight, of a conventional cigarette.

yeah, i think i will buy a proper one. the proper, more fancy and expensive ones cost about ten pounds sterling, with the "vapour" cartridge things costsing about three, four or five of similar sterling pounds for a set of two or three.


this is one of them nictoine spray things. it apparently, when you fire it in the right direction, fights the craving for a cigarette. i say apparently because no, i have not gotten around to trying this one yet.

will i try it? yes, of course. it was also a bit of a price - as point of fact i think this one was about twenty notes and the gum was fourteen or something. i have just not gotten around to giving it a crack yet.

these three things, then, should - i hope - help with the physical addiction side of cigarettes and quitting. a big, big problem is no doubt going to be the psychological side.

a number of people i know of say that quitting was tough, tougher or impossible because of social reasons. they couldn't be around smokers without having the craving or the wish to have one. i can understand and see that being entirely likely, but it does leave me with a somewhat different problem. look you see, what i like most about going for, in the words of Spiros, a fag is that it is exceptionally anti-social these days. it gives me some time alone.

i like to take a stroll, look you see, and have a smoke as i think to myself what i am going to do or write next. it just seems to help formulate things and ideas. the overwhelming majority of people i see socially - and granted this is not all that many, i don't appear to have much of a social life - do not smoke anyway.

perhaps i will join one of them support groups or quit smoking meetings, then. a nice way to meet people, and a splendid way to get the moral support i am surely going to be needing and wanting.


in the mean time, a very interesting this indeed "happened" when i bought two of the three items on display here. in respect of the gum and the spray i was warned, by someone with medical qualifications, that both "can be addictive". that's, yeah, that's kind of funny, look you see. possibly it could be called ironic too, i guess. i am sorry to say that i have not heard from Alanis for a while, so i dare not contact her to ask her.

actually i am sat with the e-cigarette on the go as i type this. not bad at all. i think i need a stronger "vape", though, as this one is not quite the sledge-hammer like experience of a Marlboro.

perhaps a class combination of two of these things, if not all three at once, with some will power (ha!) will see me through this time of plight. perhaps also moaning and complaining on here will, too, look you see, so get ready, you have been warned.

so, yeah. any and all moral, social, psychological support warmly and most happily welcomed. actually, i will welcome it cold, if that is what for some reason you prefer. in the mean time, i shall busy myself saying that i am doing this because i want to, not simply because i have to. maybe that will work.

and yeah, i regret ever starting really, so if i remember that it should help. shouldn't it? that last sentence sounds like one of them 80s "heroin? i could give it up tomorrow if i wanted to, couldn't i?" advert things. which probably means now is the best time to call it quits on this post.

hey ho.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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