Wednesday, April 02, 2014

how that quitting thing is going

hi there

yesterday i wrote a most peculiar blog post thingie (a bit like that which you read now) about the trials and tribulations of quitting smoking. or should we say contemplating quitting smoking; i suppose, and looking at the gadgets one can get to help out.

i suspect one or two (three at most) are, whilst braced for a lot of moaning and whining, would have an interest in seeing, reading and learning how that all works out. it would be appropriate, then, to do an update to that effect.

so, yeah, it's developed more into a cutting down considerably sort of thing than it has going all cold turkey (or whatever Lennon song one is supposed to reference about quitting) at the moment.

blimey, it's not just me is it, my hair is going quite grey, or if you like gray, yeah? wow.

do i see this (the smoking, although possibly the grey hair) as some sort of failure? yes, and no. maybe. perhaps partially. at the start of the day today i went (nearly) two hours of being awake and doing things without feeling either a need or any obligation to have one, so that surely, if my readers have mercy, is something of a sign of cutting down to a degree. well, it's better than an hour without one, at the least. and actually it is closer to three hours if one counts the amount of time i was awake and kept twatting the 5 minute sleep button on the alarm.

in order to avoid the wish of the ways of a cigarette i did, ladies and gentlemen, have a go at that spray thing i mentioned in the previous post. quite a complex but of engineering it is, as it happens, but eventually, after reading the instructions only six or so times, i worked out how to get it open and how one is supposed to make it perform its function.

now seems to be a good time to remind you that i was warned, if not advised, that this thing can apparently be addictive. on the box for this, the nicorette QuickMist mouth spray, it says it gives one "instant release spray for fast craving relief".

how did the spray work out? well, when i squirted it into my mouth, i got an incredible anaesthetic (sorry if that is wrong, child of the condiment phoenix, i have that spellcheck rubbish switched off) scent that was somewhat minty. quite pleasant, really. then, after a second or two, it, as it were, "kicked in", or perhaps kicked off is a better way of saying it.

bloody hell. my mouth felt as if it were on fire. well, at first. after the burning, i got a strange sense of a fist ramming in an airtight way to make it difficult if just no "no ways" impossible to breathe. the whole thing reminded me of something in a film that my friend Spiros told me about. told me about rather enthusiastically, i might well add. only in my case it was a feeling rather than actual, there was just the sense of one fist, it was in my mouth and it did not involve a German chap called Hans, Gunter or Juergen.

it was, i suspect, clinging to thoughts of Spiros and his enthusiasm for sharing film reviews with me that guided me towards grabbing hold of life and concentrating on breathing once more.

would i suggest this spray thing? perhaps not. although my (considerably) better half has had a go with it and says that she found it rather pleasant. so maybe it is a thing for girls or something, or maybe my biology is stacked against the design of it.

in fairness i do seem to have a bit of a cold and a post nasal drip, and it was only after i had sprayed it i read the bit on the box that said "do not spray on back of throat" and, indeed, the bit where it said, very much against the way my mate Spiros does things, "do not swallow". so i might be at fault.

you probably feel like washing your eyes after reading selected parts of the above, so here is a bar of soap. it cost me 15p, which i believe to be a fair, reasonable and hard to argue with price.

is this soap any good? does it perform the functions of a bar of soap as one would hope that it should? i have no idea, really. as you may or may not have noticed the soap is still in the packaging in which it was bought. as in i have yet to open it up and give it a bash. my suspicions and expectations are that it will in fact do the job for which it was designed. i mean, people do not manufacture and blindly sell things that don't work, do they? yes, well, of course, but in theory the Apple products like the iTwat do work, it is just when they do them "update" things that it all goes wrong. an Apple update is like that "f*** what Mr Ford and Mr Hyundai say, i am putting diesel in this engine, i have no time for petrol" thing. perhaps it will work, but also maybe it will not.

so, then, back to the one thing that seems to work best thus far; the e-cigarette. yes, still the cheap one i bought to try out, and one with "vapour cartridges" that i suspect are far too weak for me. but i will get another one soon, especially as my (considerably) better half just saw a flashy purple one on TV with her i want that eyes on the go.

indeed, observant types, that is a "green" cartridge i have on the go there. yep, it is one of them "menthol" ones. no, normally i did not smoke menthol cigarettes, although my good chum Spiros frequently encouraged me to do so, arguing that he felt it would be more fitting with the kind of lifestyle he thinks i should be leading and, indeed celebrating.

Spiros, i agree, should do his own blog really, to show off all these class ideas. however, the last time he tried the "Spiros blog" got him into a touch of trouble with Greek authorities and a lot of trouble when he tried to visit Uganda. probably best i just share his wisdom here as and when it seems relevant to do so.

right, back off i go to try and live a life without cigarettes. no, with cigarettes as a considerably reduced feature, i think.

if you are reading this and are offering moral support to my quest, or if you like venture, many thanks.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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