Friday, October 23, 2015

versace eros

hello there

no, you are not wrong. that title is, as point of fact, correct for this post versace is, look you see, one of several companies that i would gladly consider becoming a sort of quasi brand ambassador for if the money was right (i.e. if any money was on offer). as there is none that i am aware of, however, i am free to post as honest and as earnest a review as i care to on the subject of this new fragrance.

fragrance reviews are hardly that strange or alien a concept on this blog, anyway. one just has to consult the research i've engaged in with regards to brands of lynx that have been on special. although i would yield that the step from lynx being sold for less than £2 towards versace is something of a "game changer". that said, this versace eros stuff cost me nothing but a few moments of time. and no, you cheeky thing, no i most certainly did not shoplift it.

for reasons best known, if not exclusive to them, versace took towards the internet to offer free, as in gratis, samples of their fragrance, eros. as it was but the work of a moment to provide them with this information, that's exactly what i did. a mere two to three weeks after i did that, the above arrived in the post.

as you can see, it's come in some fancy branded envelope, and looks somewhat shiny, presumably with the intention of being attractive enough to lure you into wanting it in your life. that's kind of the point of branding, packaging and advertising.

what was, prior to today, my experience, understanding and knowledge of versace? exceptionally limited, dear reader. i do know that my dear friend Chris quite likes whatever it is he or she, whoever versace is, does, so i guess they must be decent in some capacity. beyond that, i think Madonna mentioned them in a particularly mediocre song, i am all but certain the Pet Shop Boys did in that Absolutely Fabulous song they did, and it was world news when someone called versace got killed, owing exclusively to the fact that Elton John and Princess Diana were most upset about it, and what upset them two was something that dictated news agendas in the 90s.

yeah, that is indeed a Commodore 64 mode image of the versace mail, with scan lines on.

what are my thoughts and experiences of versace now, considering i do for what is most likely the first time theoretically own a versace item? in truth, i am not really that taken with it all. i think the idea of this whole versace (pronounced vizaghe, by the way - if you've been doing it any other way, well, you were wrong) business - and it is a business - is to be less about the product, more about a particular way of life. evidently a way of life i am either not part of or simply have not been invited to yet.

a video of me spraying the versace eros, so that i may sample the wares? i cannot imagine why you would want to see that, but sure. the ambient noises you may well hear on the below come to you courtesy of the Jurassic World blu ray, by the way.

yeah, that is indeed a rather cheap, somewhat tatty and certainly poorly made plastic cannister that versace issue their eros samples in. i suspect that the use of plastic echoes how much confidence versace has in this eros product, which is not a lot. fancy, classy perfume and aftershave makers do, of course, always issue samples in splendid, post class containers. i can only take it as being the case that they want people when they think of versace to "think cheap".

that's really weird, man, as i thought that versace was supposed to be some sort of expensive, exclusive type of brand? well, there you go, something else i have learned from this experience. 

another thing what i have learned is that versace eros is bloody horrible, and if this is what versace think people should smell like, well then maybe versace should rather just stick to whatever the hell it is they normally do and not engage in any more scent samples.

my (considerably) better half and i had a sniff of this, and were both of the impression that it's quite rancid and repulsive. anyone that was attracted to you via you wearing this would not be someone that you would wish to have attracted to you.

how does it smell? the best i can do for you is to say that, to my imagination, it smells of how i would suspect the very cheap, out of date disinfectant that they use in child employing Apple factories in off the grid China smells, only worse.

i have no doubt at all that versace will be disappointed to learn that their efforts have failed, unless of course it is in fact the case that people find the above scent attractive. and perhaps they do, i suppose, considering how well Apple sell their products - those sales simply cannot be on the actual functionality of their devices, for there are not that many stupid people on the planet, so maybe there's something to the scent. most importantly, though, this was all of great disappointment to me.

as those poor, suffering regular readers of this blog shall be all too aware, i am always keen, if not eager, to explore ways in which my massive sexuality may be further enhanced and accentuated. i took it as a given that some versace would do this, but not to be, alas.

well, there you have it. if you try some of the eros of versace, i really do hope that you get on with it a lot better than i do. may it make you smell as you wish, and allow you to attract who you want.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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