Friday, October 30, 2015

Paul Daniels has abducted Sooty and absconded to Aotearoa

hello there

yes, look you see, or actually no, depending on how you look at it. i cannot as comprehensively prove the primary legal aspects of the statement i have made above in this here title for this here blog post, but i am confident that it's a very reasonable conclusion to make from the visual evidence which i have obtained.

i am not saying it as absolute fact that Paul Daniels for some reason stole all the Sooty characters and did a runner to New Zealand, right, but if he did then my sister has, ipso facto or de facto (i am not one of them twats that throw latin terms around to pretend i know the law, so sorry i like, totes don't know which is right), made me an accessory if not an accomplice by sending me these images.

do i worry about the legal implications of making such suggestions, no matter how well founded and understandable those suggestions are based on the images? not really. if i am guilty of taking the name of Paul Daniels and speaking in a way that is ill or would displease him, the threat of libel, slander or defamation cases are the very least of my worries, believe you me. this is Paul Daniels, after all. as in, you know, the Paul Daniels. the greatest warlock ever to walk the planet, although yes i suppose he does mostly levitate all over, such are his powers of sorcery and magic. his powers are immense, and if i have displeased him, i will know his retribution in a way that no court would impose.

actually, it's most likely that Paul Daniels is so powerful a conjurer that he knows what each and everyone one of us will do before we know we shall do it ourselves. ergo, he knew i would write this and yet did not strike me down with vengeance and fury as his allies, so he must thus approve of my words here.

yes, that is Debbie McGee with him, here's one of them class "portrait" style images of them off of New Zealand TV to distract you form the statements above.

a lovely couple if there ever was one, might i say, and it is marvellous how Debbie assisted in enabling his powers of magic to be all the more immense. well, powers of magic and hosting class gameshows like Every Second Counts; which i hope they start showing on the tele now that they seem to have stopped showing Bullseye on weekends. 

an image of  Sooty, Sweep, Sue, His Eminence Paul Danies and Debbie all together? it is decidedly so.

for what reason is it that Paul Daniels, or Sooty for that matter, are in New Zealand? i have no idea. in her rush to get these images to me, my sister neglected to tell me this. i think the answer is that its just an amazing, awesome thing, and one should not question why so much as they should enjoy.

it's a bit, i suppose, like that episode of Beavis & Butthead where they say how cool it would be if there was a 4th Beastie Boy whilst they watched a Beastie Boys video. they never elaborated why it would be cool and, when you think, there's no need to - it just would be. 

perhaps that it's just that someone in New Zealand decided to do a sort of "best of British" thing, but did not wish to overwhelm the population by showing them Paul Daniels and Sooty on separate instances. by combining the two, you would think, all minds would have been entirely blown by the very best that the motherland has to offer, and anyone that was going to feint or faint at the site or sight of it could just get on with it, and them that needed medical attention could get it all at once.

it's a big day for Aotearoa tomorrow, and their neighbours. i think i am right in saying that whoever wins becomes the first side to win it three times. also, if it just so happens to be New Zealand, they will be the first team to successfully defend the title. a tough one for me, the neutral, for i love so much about both countries contesting the game. i guess i can just be happy to watch a hopefully great match, and trust that the winner takes the trophy conclusively and without controversy.

so, anyway, will we ever know why Paul Daniels was in New Zealand with Sooty? unlikely. he answers to no one, least of all not peasant mortals like us. he does what it is that he wishes to, and we must accept that. happily, it looks like he enjoyed whatever it was, and did not strike anyone down with spears of lightning which he conjured up to display his displeasure.

many thanks for sending the pictures along, sis! if you bump into Paul as he floats around the land where you are, please bow, pass on my respects, and assure him that i was bowing when i put forward that humble request.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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