Wednesday, April 01, 2015

insights from a packet of one direction mini top trumps cards

hi there


today, and there's no way of dressing up the fact it was today, i was browsing a store and i spotted some one direction mini top trumps cards. they were going for what i believed to be a very reasonable price, and so i purchased them. well, no time like the present to learn a few things about my top band.

that i quite like top trumps too was a bonus, i suppose. i at least knew a thing or two about top trumps, what with them being an on-off but nonetheless constant presence in life to date.



yes indeed,  as i think you can more or less make out, 1D top trumps cards presently carry a street value of 50p. well, the mini ones anyway. can you get them, if you want them, for 50p? if you so wish, you can pay less or more for them, by the looks of amazon.

so, what have i learned about one of my all time, toppermost of the poppermost bands of all time from these cards? well, the names of the members, which was nice.

up to now Harry has been my favourite. this has been purely because his is the name i can make out on that class 1D mug i have at verk. whereas the other four (yes, i know, we will get to the recent lineup change) scrawled something as opposed to a signature, Harry very kindly writes 'Harry' in big massive crayon style letters. so he is easy to identify.

here are all of them class lads that are in 1D, then. well, are or were. in this picture you can also see their ratings in the world of top trumps.



indeed they do all have the same impact rating and excitement rating. this is somewhat at odds with the recent developments, which saw one of them - Z something - leave the band. his departure has seen prices for 1D merchandise be adjusted by between 20% and 50% by most retailers operating within the realm at the moment. 20% suggest equality, but the higher discount on certain goods suggest that, for some, he carried a far higher value.

speaking of merchandise, i am indeed considering purchasing this; an item that must surely be considered as the holy grail of 1D things. except, of course, it is far more important than any sort of holy grail thing.



i note with interest that the one who left, Z something, has his name at the bottom of most 1D items, in particular that very smart shaped rubber, or if you like eraser, look you see, you can see right there. it would then surely just be the work of a moment to remove his presence from this merchandise with a pair of scissors, or a knife, or something. like, totes simples, darlings.

but you don't want reimagining or customising  stationery, dear reader. you, as i, wish to learn of this 1D thing, to understand the phenomenon in terms of top trumps ratings.

here, as far as i know, is their incredible journey to success. it looks like a path far, far more challenging than playing a pub in Liverpool or messing about in Hamburg.



i had no idea at all that they formed on that x factor thing; i thought it was some sort of talent show that they met on. that x factor thing looked quite tough, from what i remember of it. all them mental challenges and the assault course would have knacked me, so credit to the lads for forming a band during that show. this achievement is all the more impressive when you consider, as you can see, that they got to the final, too.

i think it was someone called Gordon Burns that hosted x factor? all i can really remember is that the Art of Noise did a boss theme for it.

anyway, as you can see, meeting and forming was a staggering 2 less exciting that auditioning for x factor or appearing on the final of it. what do we learn from this? that bands forming is not as exciting as what they do. that's every rock and roll biography ever destined for the bin, then.

onwards we go, then, with the ratings for their path to glory in the world of top trumps. admittedly these pictures are probably not as large or clear as they could be, but then again this is mini top trumps, you crazy kids. work with me, not against me.



it's interesting that the least exciting thing to happen to 1D is that whole "twerker" thing, which i think is that thing where people "twerk" short, ultimately pointless messages, usually to share ill-informed opinions on subjects that have no relevance whatsoever to them.

that the band, and presumably by extension the fans, consider this whole twerker thing to be not as exciting as,  say, releasing a single or going on tour, speaks volumes about the maturity on display here. yes, granted, that's if you accept the top trumps measurement for such things, and i see no reason not to - they are pretty accurate, going on the Batman pack i have here too.

any other insights? loads, really. but i wouldn't want to be the one to disrupt your own voyage of discovery should you purchase a pack, or if you like deck, of these yourself. would i suggest that you buy these? well, if you like top trumps, and 1D, or just like top trumps and are not fussed about who is on them so long as there are numbers, then 50p is a pretty decent price for a pack/deck, i would have thought.

right, i am off to play 1D top trumps, then, all be it in a mini form.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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