Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Glastonbury 2016 in no shock shock move

now then

for some peculiar reasons, and i am assuming this  for the most part is a quirk in the dynamics of how search engines work (which is not as well as you might think), my inarticulate, random and frequently unfounded musings on the subject of Glastonbury finds a popular audience. whilst the 2016 line up is so incredibly dull that it doesn't really inspire much in the way of words, i thought i'd better throw something together. and, here it is.

So, the pretty much complete Glastonbury 2016 lineup has been announced and, look you see, it’s a controversy and fuss free one. Splendid.

After recent disasters (Kanye West) the organizers have found the perfect formula of musical acts which actually fit in with the ethos of what the Glastonbury festival was, yet meet all of the commercial considerations of what the Glastonbury festival now is. Nice one.

Headliners? Not acts that I would cross the road to see, but there’s no denying that 66% of them are major acts.

I am not sure who or what Muse are, but I’ve heard the name Matt Bellamy before. I have asked the kids of today about them, and they give me the kind of “meh” response that the kids of today give to everything.

what's with the picture of some lass doing her nails? nothing, really. i just simply could not be bothered to dig through the internet for free to use images of Glastonbury, so have just grabbed some free to use images of, well, whatever. you people complain when there are no pictures, so here are some pictures.

Adele was pretty much a given in the minds of many, but quite a coup for festival. Just as Keith Richards once said that The $tone$ would never play (“we don’t do mud”), Adele had said she wouldn’t. I am not what you would call the target market for her music, but there’s no denying she is a huge star, selling records by the truckload.

Coldplay were a formality for this festival the moment that they announced their current album was the last, and their current tour shenanigans would be the final ones. For some reason they have become the “go to” band for Glastonbury, and this performance means that they will equal the number of appearances what the Bootleg Beatles have made.

I don’t know about Muse, but Adele and Coldplay have very happily, and with great financial success, gotten into bed with the BBC before. This will have been a major factor in them being headliners, you would think, with their popularity and indeed suitability for an English music festival being a happy accident.

Biggest surprises? Well, the Foo Fighters not trying again is one. It has become custom for bands to drop out due to illness or injury and for them to come back and have another go the following year. Also, no Noel Gallagher is a shocker. He too likes BBC money and likes to see himself as some sort of “elder statesman” of the festival.

Complete no surprise? The Stone Roses. The Stone Roses have no interest whatsoever in accepting BBC money and they certainly would not sign over broadcast rights to them. However long The Stone Roses last, you will not see them at Glastonbury. Also, you can again forget this idea of bands like The Smiths, Oasis, etc, reforming for a one off performance for Glastonbury. This concept exists as a good idea in the minds of London journalists alone. If either of those bands were to reunite (highly unlikely), or any other band, they would not do it in a way that would see most of their fan base excluded from being able to see, and nor would they do it in a way that benefits the BBC above everyone else.

Missed opportunities? The biggest is Art Garfunkel. Whilst it’s awesome to see him on the bill, wouldn’t it have been a wise idea to ask if Paul was at all free, and give this rather celebrated duo a headliner spot?

Otherwise, a mix of old and new, with a recurring theme being that you can understand the talent and interest in all of the acts on the bill, whether you happen to like them yourself or not. It’s great to see that non-music lovers are catered for too, as presumably the presence of Annie Mac on the poster means a session of blip beep noises in no discernable order.

Mostly, then Glastonbury will come and go without any huge excitement or large volumes of complaints. It’s the safe, middle of the road, pedestrian corporate music extravaganza which it pretty much should be every year. I hope the many hundreds of BBC staff and fellow corporate sponsors, as well as those who got tickets, have a sensational fuss free and relaxing weekend.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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