Monday, September 22, 2014

new mug

hello there

well, i know some of you will be very excited, but reign in that excitement, curb your enthusiasm. or kerb it, i suppose, if you are inclined to engage in that, as it were, sort of thing. yes, i have a new mug, but no, it's not a return to the halcyon days of my former verk where new mugs were paraded around. my current place of employ is not, shall we say, quite so liberal.

i was a bit baffled on Saturday when a slip was waiting for us from the post man dude, saying he had an item too large to get through the letterbox. the only item i was expecting was a CD, the nature and size of which has come through our letterbox many times in the past. what could it be? it would have to wait until Monday.

Monday it is, you clever people (or later if you are reading this after Monday), so time to find out. i am very grateful to my (considerably) better half for going to the post office stipulated and fetching it for me.

the return address you see there confirmed that it was what i in fact remotely suspected it could be. i was amazed to be correct, and as it turns out it is even better than i suspected it to be.

it is a mug from the off of The Viz. i wrote to them again recently in order to win yet more "i spotted Jimmy Hill" pencils. this i did. out of desperation, though, i sent them a sad and pathetic letter in which i explained why my life is so shallow, hollow and empty that the idea of winning a pencil from them made it better. in that letter the following (in an unedited form) appeared.

You were extremely kind in rewarding my spotting efforts earlier in the year. That moment remains one of the highlights of the year, as point of fact decade, for me. I would love to do the crossword to try and win a mug, but I cannot work out so much as one clue off of it. Gives me a right f****** headache when I try.

and so this is what they sent me.

yes, that's right, it is a Roger's Profanisaurus Winner's Mug that they have edited to be a Loser's Mug!

the note in the background is far more civil and polite than my uncouth and foul-mouthed letter, as a consequence of which i am indeed hanging my head in shame. the co-editor explains in the note how sorry he was to learn that i find the crossword is a bit too difficult for me, and so he decided to make a special Loser's Mug to make me feel better.

this is one of the most awesome and incredible things to happen to me.

and now the mug is safely put away, far from the eyes of young people who can read but are not quite yet ready to see the kind of words on the mug.

as obscenities follow, here is a pictue of some nice chocolates for you to look at and then be on your way.

for those of you unfamiliar with The Viz or Roger's Profanisaurus, well, basically it's a regular sort of thesaurus thingie, but for rude words. very rude indeed. every edition of The Viz thus features a crossword based on it, where you can win money and a Winner's version of the mug. it is all, however, always cryptic clues, and i really can't work them out.

as to what the answers usually are, well, here, have a look. but do remember that warning i posted above in regards of the language warning i gave.

my hope is, of course, that my mate Spiros gets one. except he is a winner, so he will get the Winner's one. he is universally talented, is Spiros. he can karate chop your ass and ju jitsu your brain. he will get the cash prize, no doubt.

oh i see, this just popped up as i was writing :

let me go and change passwords again :(

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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