Tuesday, October 25, 2011

something called Diners international

hey everyone

well, i just got a call from a lovely bloke, whose name escapes me for the moment, from someone or something called Diners International. the number comes up as +27879401497 if that either helps or is of any use. despite my assurances to him that i had no idea what a "Diners International Card" was he was quite insistent on talking to me about getting me one.

to that end, without never once confirming my name for him, i was most insistent that he addressed me as Professor. which he did, really, which is jolly good. he then proceeded to tell me all sorts of things, you know, this that and the other in regards of benefits and that in having one of these cards (whatever the hell they are), and advised me that i could use it absolutely anywhere in the world. i would like to think that, in retrospect, he feels that this might possibly have been quite a mistake, because i enquired as if to one could use it quite freely in Bangkok. he advised that yes, indeed you could.

i suggested, then, that i quite liked the idea of being one of them "sex tourist" types, and asked if the cards were accepted without question in the interesting looking sex clubs they seem to have there, for as far as i can see on the television when they do documentaries it strikes me as being a strictly cash in hand, so to speak, business. he then proceeded to tell me that his mother went to Bangkok "frequently" and that you could use the card at an ATM in Bangkok to get cash.

i asked him if his mother was also a sex tourist, then (apparently not, no) and further what was the point of this card if i had to simply get cash with it anyway. he advised me that it would mean i could just leave my other cards at home.

we moved on slightly and got to the point where he assured me that this Diners lot would provide me with a "24/7 personal assistant". i was quite distressed at this, or at least i sounded it, as i asked him what he proposed exactly i would do with Claude, who i told the nice chap had been my personal assistant for something close to a decade now. i was then informed that the "personal assistant" would be available telephonically only. i asked, then, how the personal assistant would be able to open doors for me like Claude currently does. he said that they would not; i said that it was hardly a personal assistant, then. he agreed, apologized and suggested that they should be called "24/7 customer care".

that said, when i was told that this "24/7 customer care" would be able to get anything i wanted, anywhere in the world, i took the trouble to ask if they might be able to arrange sex for me wherever in the world i happened to be. with some pride the chap assured me that yes, they would be able to arrange this. that's an interesting approach for them to take, and i am rather glad that they informed me they keep a recording of the conversation.

as much fun as the conversation was - and indeed it was rather informative - i advised the nice chap on the other end of the phone that i had to leave now, as there was an assembly hall full of young people wishing to learn about Cartesian Duallism. well, the odds are pretty high that somewhere in the world that a lecture is happening right now on that subject, are they not? i had to, somewhat surprisingly, explain to the chap on the phone broady what exactly Cartesian Duallism was all about (brief answer would of course be the difference or if you will "split" between the physical body and the mind/spirit/soul) and then made my excuses. he asked if he could phone again, and i suggested that yes he certainly could - i mean, he has done it once already, why would he all of a sudden not be able to?

i shall be rather surprised to hear from him again.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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