those of you who read my theoretical book reviews, in particular as and when i have read a book off of Peter Robinson, will be quite familiar with my use of the term the English way of doing things. this is, look you see, a nod of the hat to the peculiar ways we, as a people and as a nation, have.
in respect of the works of Peter Robinson, the term comes into play with crime resolution - it is very English indeed to expect the baddie, or if you like the villain, to hand themselves in at the end of each novel and confess, despite the constabulary being nowhere near catching them. this is how we believe the world should operate, as illustrated by that time when Jeremy Corbyn asked if it was really necessary to shoot the terrorist behind attacks in Belgium and France, arguing surely that as the chap was cornered surely he would know the game was up and thus would turn himself in.
does this rather quaint approach to and view of life extend to other areas of the English way of doing things? oh goodness me yes. a quite brilliant insight into further thinking is a lovely book i found called Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage.
i found this rather charming book at The Works, and paid £1 for it. it was that good, and that beautifully priced, that i went back and got a couple more copies to hand over as gifts, which i did. i trust the recipients have enjoyed it as much as i have.
what is it? a charming collection of stories from local newspapers around England. not just any old stories of course. no, far from it - it's a coming together of tales which are most decidedly English in being considered newsworthy and of value in going to print.
the title is, of course, taken from one such story. whilst the news of a Mum facing a shortage of custard is both tragic and something all should be informed of, this is merely the tip of the iceberg of tales within this most splendid of volumes....
no, seriously, these are not made up. the above are two real news reports relating to the important subjects of roads being available to do, well, precisely what they exist for.
sure, these two might not be the funniest headlines in the book, but i am trying not to spoil the treats for anyone, or give away so much that you elect not to pay the surprisingly low cost which this book is available for - the amazon link in yellow is your friend in this regard.
there are many treats in store for the reader, dear reader - tales of seagulls being rescued, curious cats being stuck in tins, police being called upon to assist drunkards with their knickers, witches being blamed for a spate of mysterious horse braidings and, with this being a particular favourite subject, ungrateful cows snubbing rescuers.
with this being a very English book about the English way of doing things, there is of course a frequent mention of that subject we so dearly love to discuss, debate and indeed argue about - the weather.
indeed yes, you do get quite a few instances of the full story being reproduced in this book, as is the case here with a tale of snow. as you can see, it's an urgent update report, advising people that some snow on a roof is stubbornly refusing to remove itself from the premises.
if one were to strike the topic of the weather from our daily conversations then one would find England to be one of the quietest, least talkative countries on the planet. but, rest assured, in our silence we would all be pondering the many things we'd like to be saying about how hot, cold, wet, dry, muggy, humid, pleasant, wonderful it all is.
the back of the book features a few other of the gems hidden within its pages.
most of those, i suspect, speak for themselves - which make them very funny (to me at the least) and also exceptionally good headlines. a good headline, after all, is one which basically tells you the story.
whilst Jeremy Corbyn perhaps rightly gets criticism for not quite grasping the right way to deal with a cornered terrorist who intends to blow himself and others up, let it be said there is absolutely nothing wrong with the heart of his thinking. the English way of doing things is, essentially, to get on with it. what would be so bad, after all, to live in a world where the only bad news is that of swans being smug?
if you seek out and find a copy of this brilliant book, i do trust you enjoy it as much as i have!
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!