Sunday, February 07, 2016

on the slide

hey there


as recently as yesterday, look you see, i went on a voyage through the past to have a gander at one of my more successful, and indeed notable, construction projects what i had been engaged to do around the world. if you cannot be bothered to look for it yet still wish to see it, here you go, click here and you shall be taken towards it. well, actually to it rather than towards it.

in that post, as you may well have read, i gave an account of how i came to test the sturdy validity of the structure. as chance would have it Gran, when not assisting me in weighing a poster, had found a picture of the moment i bravely tested the slide out.



that is indeed Gramps holding it "steady" as i more or less described, on the off chance that the concrete or related supports (flanges or something, i suppose) were not quite up to the task of supporting someone of my size upon the slide.

actually, my initial thought on seeing that picture was that i wasn't as overweight, out of shape or if you like as fat as i thought i was back then. by no means was i a picture of perfect health, but not as big as i had imagined. not that my immense sexual magnetism has ever relied on the trivial ways of the physical.

why was i in better shape than i remembered? several reasons, i suppose. i had, just before this was taken, spent three or so years living in Cape Town. i keep forgetting about that, so i do. in the Town of Cape i walked around a good deal more, for it was reasonably safe to do so when compared to Johannesburg, and ate somewhat better. or, at the least, less.

not long after this two things happened which knacked my physique. the first was my (considerably) better half came along, who is an amazing, immense, mega cook, to be sure. i have been fed exceptionally well. also, for verk i entered the corporate sector for just over a decade. as a big part of this indulgent, bourgeois life i was routinely called on to eat whole chickens, not to mention many kilogrammes of ribs, steaks and what have you.

i would say after being back at home and walking as much as i would like to i am in somewhat better shape once again, but i could be fitter. but you didn't come here for such words; you want to see some slide action.


yes, Richard enthusiasts, that is the Richard you are so enthusiastic about making a return to these pages. Richard, as i recall, was suspiciously "unavailable" or "engaged in another matter" when it was time to lift concrete mix and mix the concrete, but by chance had space available in his diary to come and test the slide out when the work was done.

that is indeed Gramps stood by, once again. he was by this stage satisfied that the slide would hold in place (as it should with my deft work in place), and so took a step back to serve as a sort of quasi-lifeguard for people using the slide. and when i say quasi, it should be noted that Gramps cannot actually swim as such, but if in need he would have been boss at calling attention to the distress that a drowner was in.



is that who you think it is on the slide? yes it is, so long as you think that it is Dad. he was, as you will recall from the original account, the commissioner of the project. this image would suggest that he was delighted with the work carried out, or at least that is how Gramps and i interpreted his lack of complaints about any of the work we carried out.

i think that's me sat in the pool, there in the corner, watching Dad enjoy the presumably mid-life crisis of an idea he had to get a slide put in the pool. them look like my snazzy red swimming shorts from the first picture.

yes, dear reader, that is barbed wire around all of the walls. as i mentioned, Johannesburg really particularly isn't the safest place in the world, alas, and all too often things such as electrified, barbed wire with razors still proves not enough to stop scumbag criminals. but let's not worry about them.

if you live in an exotic location, whether safe or dangerous, and you want a quality slide to be cemented on the corner of your swimming pool, if the money is right i can be engaged to do it for you. if you are paying premium coins of money i can even arrange for Gramps to come along and gaffer the gig.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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