Sunday, August 24, 2014

car review

hi there

yes, time for a new car, so time for a car review.

wither Bessie? alas, something went wrong with some bits on her - callipers or something on the brakes and that, and a fella in a flat cap said that it would cost more to fix and 'MOT' than it was worth. so it's gone to a new home, now, where someone reckons they can fix her up.

in the mean time, then, we do indeed have a new one, selected by my (considerably) better half and with the excellent, expert and much appreciated assistance of our Uncle Colin. see, he does do things other than Frankie concerts. 

my extensive knowledge of cars is, let us be honest, exceptionally limited. i shall respect this, then, by only speaking of the parts of the car i understand. the biggest question, of course, is can the boys get in it, and am i able to take a picture of them from the rear of the car.

that, i believe, constitutes as a yes, that picture does, look you see. indeed, as i think the above picture shows, both of them think the new wheels are rather smart. which, as it happens, they are.

next challenge in testing a new car then - can i take a good picture of them sitting in the car from the side, whilst my (considerably) better half looks a bit blissfully dazed as she attempts to get them to put their seatbelts on?

that would look like a yes, there, folks. the blueberry even seems to be taking decent pictures, so it's a yes all around on this car so far.

what sort of car is it? it is a black one. that's all that really comes into it when one looks at differences in cars, really - the colour. well, it's black with bits of white thrown in, but not in some sort of wild zebra style.

driving, and how it drives, is - for some - a reasonably important aspect of a car, and something they expect to see featured in a review.

all i can really say is that it's very comfortable in the passenger seat, and it is a very pleasant car to be driven around in. no, i have not driven it myself, and the outlook is that no, i will not be driving it any time soon. neither Uncle Colin or my (considerably) better half consider this or any other car to be "lee proof", and so there's reluctance about letting me have a go.

my (considerably) better half did mention something about me being allowed to drive it at some point, mentioning something along the lines of as and when the Pope joins ISIS as being the time that i can drive it. why she thinks Bono will join a different band is beyond me, but i shall keep you posted.

to keep this post interesting, indeed to liven it up a bit, here's a stamp from New Zealand.

actually, yes, you are right, two stamps from New Zealand. well spotted.

off we went for a drive then and yes, as i was in the passenger seat, i was able to get some "action" shots of us driving along. here's one of when a car went past us, heading the opposite way to the way we were going.

the car can, then, as i would like to think the above illustrates, with confidence and a complete lack of shame pass other vehicles with its head held high. or whatever it is, in a metaphorical sense, that a car has instead of a head, i suppose. the roof, maybe.

what was it like in the car when another car went past? this, really.

now then, the single most important element of a car. the, yes of course, stereo. what a bangin' set of vibes this car produces, ladies and gents. tremendous sound. so yes, this car was a fantastic investment. excellent work, Colin and my (considerably) better half.

what makes the vibes so bangin' in the car? well, a massive display screen for a start.

oh yeah, look, as per that picture, the car also features those hazard / emergency lights, as well as a means to lock the doors. nice one, man.

yes, i know you want to see and partially hear the vibes, so yes indeed i have thrown some video in to this blog post for you. here you go.

if for some reason you were wanting to see another in-car picture, but one where we were parked rather than driving around, no problem, here you go. hope it helps you get a grasp of how smart the wheels are.

but yeah, i know, you want to see more of the stereo, in particular the buttons. i did mention above that there are quite a few buttons, if for some reason you felt the claim was preposterous and to be doubted, well, what can i say, have a look at the below and judge for yourself.

to me, that's a lot of buttons. they are all smart.

oh yeah, look, there's all sorts of air conditioner buttons and knobs, too. very handy, i would imagine, if for some reason you wanted to try and condition air.

i have little or no doubt at all that another question you have is what's it like when you sit in the car in a car park whilst it's raining. this picture, i believe, will answer it.

as comfortable as all other times and weather conditions experienced in the car, truth be told!

yeah, i know, you want some more video of the stereo doing its thing. no problem, here you go.

as for the practicalities of the car, well, the boot space is most impressive. most impressive indeed, dear readers. my (considerably) better half exerted all of her strength and powers in the realms of retail and managed to cram a lot of stuff in. we probably could have got even more in, truth be told, but it is nice, from a financial perspective, that we did not.

i am not going to bore you too much of the details of what we bought. at least not yet, perhaps at a later stage. it was, as you can see, for the most part basically grocery stuff, but i did find one or two shiny things whilst we were out.

speaking of which, look who i happened to bump into.

yes, that is indeed who you think it is. as long as you do not think it is Angry Anderson out or Rose Tattoo, or indeed Buster Bloodvessel out of whatever band he was in, Bad Manners or something. and no, it is not Spiros, either. Spiros is somewhere having exploratory surgery on his arse after getting that goth bomb sauce, so far as i know.

actually it might be Angry Anderson out of Rose Tattoo.

if it was Angry Anderson, the boys were not nearly as impressed with meeting him as they were with the ice cream they bought at one of them ice cream van things.

oh, go on then, a brief insight into things that i found to buy today. here are some very smart, very class boxer shorts which celebrate that massive Swedish fella getting absolutely knacked off of Rocky in Rocky IV.

yes, i know in the fim the massive Swedish fella was supposed to be Russian, but he wasn't. i think he was, and indeed is, Swedish, anyhow. maybe Dutch or something. a bit too tall to be Belgium, to my mind.

i thought it prudent, indeed wise, to post a picture of them boxers here, as there's every chance that at some point i am going to feel quite saucy and put a picture up here of me posing in them. so there you go, you have been warned.

back to the car? sure. another question you all no doubt have is how does it handle taking a picture out of the passenger window when you go past where was once a petrol station that rented out videos, but is now some sort of quasi-mini-business park, featuring a dentist and a bookie where once you could buy petrol and rent video tapes.

here's the answer.

so, there we have it. what did we learn here? well, in terms of selecting a car, sending Uncle Colin and my (considerably) better half off to get it all sorted out seems to work rather well. i would suggest you just do that, really.

i did review another car last year, some of you may recall. here's that review if you want to have a gander and compare the two, or something.

more stuff, no doubt, later!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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