Friday, June 28, 2013

advertising - days of future past

hi there

OK, here's the deal - it's Friday, i am somewhat worn out after some significant lifting (you wouldn't believe what you can fit on the roof of a truck and i can't show you as i took no pictures), so it's time for fun. i stumbled merrily across these as i wandered around the fields of the internets and found them quite funny, if not a touch disturbing. here's hoping that you do too!

it is highly likey, as was the case with a post i did a few Fridays ago of a similar nature, that you have seen some if not all of these before. hey ho, just go with the flow!

first off and it's one that is more disturbing than it is funny, but you never know, your sense of humour might be different to mine. i would suggest that usually i do not know that much about this whole "global warming" and "climate change" business to say if something is or is not an over-reaction, but in this case i think it is fair to say this ad is very much over the top. so to speak.

i see. so, if we do not stop the icbergs or polar caps melting, this little girl will be hanged or hung, will she? i am not sure if hanged or hung is correct, i am reasonably confident Schwirl will spin by and tell me which is correct, though. i am certain, however, that this advert is rather off by any standard. the worrying thing, i suppose, is that according to the text this is one of the best adverts on environmental matters? well, so be it - if anyone seeing this has instantly decided to get rid of their secret stash of CFC gas or similar, nice one.

moving on, and these days headphones are a common thing. you get at least one pair for free with any and all iTwat devices you buy. once upon a time, though, they were quite an expensive luxury and a rare thing to own. if you were fortunate enough to have a set of "cans", you valued and treasured them, and indeed used them frequently. no matter, it seems, whatever else was on on offer.

oh yes, the above is entirely plausible. if i had a set of Koss 'stereophones' i am certain i would also ignore the saucily dressed lady eating chocolates sat next to me. in fairness, though, that ad looks like it is from the 70s, so maybe he is getting well into one of the great albums of that decade. Rumours, perhaps, or even maybe Bat Out Of Hell. or maybe not anything that class and cool, now that i think about it having considered his dress sense.

hobbies such as eating chocolates in underwear or listening to some vibes whilst in a sensational brown suit are important. they are not the only hobbies out there, of course. my Auntie Susan, for a start, is quite a wizard with embroidery and other needlepoint work. it takes a patient and somewhat sensitive soul to do needlework. Rusey Grier is apparently one such sensitive type.

Rusey strikes me as being one of those sort of no-nonsense chaps, really. if he suggested that i do some needlepoint with him, i think i would be inclined to, no matter how bad my embroidery was or how many times i was likely to stab myself with the needle. Rusey looks like he would get quite cross with those who displease or defy him, and the mind boggles as to what he would do to you to attain satisfaction.

now, in days gone by you could openly advertise things without a care. not the case today. cigarette advertising has long since gone, and alcohol advertising seems to be the next one to face extinction. once they have banned that, who knows what will be next - probably tampons for being sexist or something.

as an example of banned things, here's one for something that you are unlikely to be able to advertise, or indeed sell with any ease, today.

yes, i bet that stuff really sorts any toothache you have out! i know of a few people that would be constantly taking hammers to their teeth if you could still buy the above. they should perhaps consider bringing the above back, it would be one way to win the war on drugs. imagine if all these coke smugglers and dealers were involved in producing medication to make people feel better, rather than shoving condoms full of cocaine up their bottoms and engaging in them drive by shooting things.

as Scarface taught us all, cocaine leads to power. a different kind of power would of course be electricity. the world at large seems to be struggling to work out how to keep the lights on, the country that i am in of course has more or less given up on the idea of constant electrical supplies being a given.

back in the 50s the Americans had a sense that power could be an issue. they wisely, then, decided to turn creating electricity into a "fun" thing to do for kids.

sending kids out to prospect for uranium does seem like a good idea. what harm could befall them, after all? the advert says that it is completely safe and harmless, so it must be fine. i am not that sure on the bit about watching radioactive material disintegrate, though - might be best to at least wear a pair of goggles for that.

right, our friends the Americans and guns. a good many Americans rather like guns, and they have a constitutional right to bear arms and form milita groups. understanding why this is the case or mindset is perhaps helped along by understanding that they were treated to adverts like this over the years.

it is rather good of them to mention that a revolver is not, as point of fact, a toy as such. stating that allows them to get on with the business of advertising it as one, it seems though! i for one would not like to be the person to test that "accidental discharge impossible" claim. i imagine someone did at some point, which is perhaps now why we have laws and regulations in place to prevent statements like that being made in adverts.

speaking of the law, there's this one to end with.

i know what you are thinking as you look at the above, and yes indeed it is a great shame that the national institution that was British Rail is no more, but good luck to all these privatised companies now doing the trains in the UK. presumably, and i could not state this as fact, the new companies doing the trains and that in the UK no longer use Gary Glitter to advertise child-related train fairs, what with him being obviously associated with British Rail and their campaign for similar. i am sure Mr Glitter is quite sad about that, as i believe he still to this day has a firm interest in helping the youth of the world.

well, there you go. hope the pause from the world you've taken to read this was satisfactory!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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