Tuesday, September 01, 2015

them sexed up seventies

hi there

as those of you who read the post before this will be aware that i was required to spend several hours sat around waiting in, of all places look you see, Newcastle. as a consequence of this i decided to take a newspaper or two with me; or if you like a copy of a newspaper and a copy of the Daily Express.

i'm not one of those that tend to get all trendy and conform to the idea of condemning those that read whatever newspaper they wish. i really rather tend to trust people to make up their own minds, and read what they want from a paper. that said, the Express, as we shall see in a little while, is peculiar as it's perhaps the most right-wing thing ever created, yet uses the most well known example of right-wing things possible, that being Hitler and the Nazis, to dismiss things as "bad".

before that, though, this picture pleased me greatly. you know it's something of a slow news day when a whole page can be given over to a story of how Jack Nicholson "might" have offered some cocaine to Princess Margaret, and Princess Margaret declined it. never mind that bit, have a look at this absolutely boss picture that went with it.....

i am not 100% sure which is my favourite part of this picture. the obvious answer, of course, is the absolutely outrageous coat that Barbs has on. this was from the 70s, you see, and superstars could order as many baby seals as they liked to be clubbed until mostly dead so that they may provide the materials for a jacket. however, look closer.

that rather portly gent in the background - sorry, i have no idea who it is - is clearly getting a very, very good gander at the exceptionally expensive backside of Barbs. i can only imagine that he ate out on the story of how he once "stared at Barbs right in the arse" for years after. the most likely contender for my favourite part of this picture, though, is just how much Omar Sharif is thoroughly and understandably enjoying having an outstanding gander at the cleavage of Princess Margaret. nice one man, that's the style that made you celebrated and famous around the world.

this is a column, or if you like editorial, by someone called Peter Hill. before i read this i had absolutely no idea who he was, but now i have something of an idea about how he thinks.

the whole matter of immigration dominates the centre to right press at the moment of course, with the further right you go the more special the opinions become. Mr Hill's is sensational. he suggests that the UK implement whatever border controls it wants, and tell Europe to go whistle. his rationale for this working is that Germany will not declare war over us doing this, as they have declared war before and lost. he takes the time to refer to the incumbent leader of Germany - Angela or something - as "darling" as he makes it clear that what he says makes sense.

elsewhere in the newspaper there's a special letter from someone about resolving the immigration crisis. he (it could have been a she) took the time and effort to write in and suggest that we, and by we he presumably means British armed forces, sink all ships harboured on the coast of Libya, thus preventing any migrants from boarding them and sailing to Europe. far be it from me to suggest that this is in any way an extreme reaction to a situation, or to suggest that Libyan sailors that do not ship migrants across the sea might get a trifle miffed by the idea of another country coming along and bombing them out of business on a "just in case" basis.

elsewhere in the publication (for it was published), an airport with a poor reputation is derided as the "Hitler airport", and basically everything that they can think of which they do not like has "Nazi overtones" to it. i believe that i may well purchase this Express again at some point in the near future, in the hope that they can somehow top this particular edition.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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