when i retired for the evening last night, to indulge, look you see, in reading a rather splendid and enjoyable book, it became clear to me that i was desirous, or rather in urgent need, of a little screw. this is something i obtained, but it was not quite as satisfactory as i had hoped, expected or required. so it was, then, that when i woke this morning i still felt a compelling need to, by any means available, get a little screw to balance things out in my life.
with no other practical alternates available in my quest for a little screw, i proceeded to drive into town towards verk. before i went in to verk, however, i approached a gentleman - wearing a smart suit, no less - and requested a little screw off of him. he was delighted to assist, and did not even charge me for it.
with some hoarding sensed fortune i had a couple of spare pairs around the house. i do not, as it happens, like the idea of no safety net with my vision, and thus hold on to older pairs in case i need them so i do not need to drive blind.
my (considerably) better half, blessed as she was with somewhat better vision than i momentarily had, happily took a screwdriver to one set of these glasses and removed a screw that seemed to be the nearest closest to a fit. she placed it in and it held the arm to the frame, although it protruded some. it worked, but was clearly only going to ever be a temporary fix, hence me going in to Specsavers this morning to see what they could do.
the incredibly well dressed gent whom i had the pleasure of speaking to at Specsavers apologised profusely for the fact that they did not have Ray Bans in stock and thus had no spare screws for them, but offered to put in one that would fit perfectly. i advised him that there was no need to apologise at all, and that anything he could put in would be greatly appreciated. this he did, and refused to accept any payment at all for it, which is why i am happy to give as many plugs and promotions to Specsavers in this post as i can.
had plan a, which was Specsavers, not worked, my plan b was to purchase some of them "reading glasses" they sell at Pound Shop and just cannibalise them until i found a screw that was a perfect match. why not just order some authentic Ray Bans screws off of the internet? because they would seem to want to charge somewhere noticeably north of £10 for 4 (four) of them.
the idea of fire and toxic danger being an element of cleaning glasses is, to me, exciting. as you can see, these wipe things have little or no English on them, and thus the manufacturers do not seem to feel obliged to obey any sort of English Way Of Doing Things approach to health and safety matters.
how do they perform? mindful of the fact that, despite requiring to wear them for some 27 or so years, i am useless at cleaning glasses, they perform in a way that's a good deal more streaky than i would have liked or expected. whilst the scent of the wipes certainly implied hazard and there was always the excitement of flames bursting out as i used them, the only exciting thing which really happened was streaks were left across the lenses.
as regular readers are no doubt aware a pressing concern for me of late has been establishing a suitable pension fund. whilst i was at Pound Land, then, i thought i might as well have a quick, speculative dabble on the pension fund service they offer. alas, as has mostly been the case with all of the other pension schemes i have had a dabble, or if you like flutter, with, no success at all.
nope, as you can see very clearly in the magic of Commodore 64 mode above (i have decided to leave Predator alone for a while as i can never get the orientation right), i did not get the correct, or accurate, three values aligned and thus they have denied me my pension.
on the one side you might say that the maximum payout Pound Land offers on pensions, presently capped at £1,000 (a thousand), is not that great. as a policy with them only costs £1, however, that is the actual, as in real terms, potential for a 1,000% (one thousand percent) return on investment. that's not bad, that is. well, it isn't if it works, which it didn't.
now that i think, on occasions when i have required a little screw or some other such service on my glasses, or if you like spectacles, no optician has ever hesitated to help, whether i bought them from them in the first instance or not. Specsavers were all the more impressive, i believe, as i didn't even buy these ones in the same hemisphere as they are operating. nice one, then, to all opticians for their commitment to making sure no one struggles with their glasses.
how does this fancy, la-de-dah, upper class glasses cleaning set perform? mindful of the above qualification in regards of my skills in cleaning spectacles, smudgy is my abiding memory. the spray is bonza, or if you like smart, to operate, and the cloth certainly feels like the sort of fancy material they dress and bury select members of the aristocracy in. the overall effect, however, is a sense of smudge on the lenses, making seeing through them a complex, tricky and ultimately disappointing experience.
what have we learned here, assuming that learning is for some reason something that people do with the material on this blog? well, firstly that Specsavers are thoroughly decent people, and i shall certainly be using them the next time i decide to change the perception or accentuation of my sexuality with glasses frames. we've also learned that Pound Land does not offer the best returns on pension investments out there, but they are probably not the worst. also, Pound Land glasses cleaning products for glasses are precisely as good as the person using them.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!