many of you will undoubtedly be aware, look you see, of the saying of how one should "start as they mean to go on". it's not bad advice in general terms, i suppose, but here we are at the first of september and i find that a significant amount of my day shall be spent, once more, in that Newcastle place. i am uncertain that this will be the way that i go on for the rest of the month.
in respect of the travels to Newcastle - and yes i know you are more excited by the title, patience, we shall get there - i have foreseen a fair bit of sitting around and waiting. to that end, i took myself off to one of the local proprietors we have here in order to purchase a newspaper or two (well, two) in order that i may have something to read whilst i wait.
my intention was to purchase The Times. it is a newspaper which historically has been the one that a more discerning, world wise and perhaps weary gent would be seen reading, often in the presence of a brolly and a rather smart satchel like leather briefcase. however, i noted with some interest that The Times costs a gent £1.20. f*** that, man, these two newspapers together cost somewhere south of that, to the tune of 25p i think. so i have, theoretically, twice the news for less of the price.
also it's interesting to see that the Daily Express is an actual thing. for many people there is an assumption that the newspaper is a fictional creation, devised by Eric Idle as a prop to refer to a week old copy of in the celebrated 'Travel Agent Sketch' by Monty Python.
enough news, then, and on towards lottery winning lesbians that are being used to actively promote funeral policy things. this leaflet came through our door - unsolicited - so as far as i am aware it is free and clear for me to comment on.
my (considerably) better half reckons that this is in fact an image of a mother and daughter, apparently joyous because they have either secured the ability to bury Mummy with none of the fuss that they had when it was time to burn or sink into the ground Daddy, or otherwise they are happy because when Mummy pops off it will be all straightforward thanks to this policy. i, as the title suggests, disagree.
the age differential between the two, for a start, suggests that it is not the case that they are mother and daughter, or even sisters. also, the stylistic differences in their hair suggest a lack of mutual genetics. they are also clearly on a beach, and not just any beach, but the kind of fancy one where you would find tax exiles and pension fund raiders (the two are not one in the same).
what also must be considered is the smiles they have. that's just a little bit too joyous to be a reflection of happily securing burial cost funding, if you ask me. which, in fairness, you tacitly did by reading this far. no, those expressions of joy are only possible to reach from a combination of winning the lottery and indulging in a highly satisfactory level of sexual activity. with no gents present, i feel it safe to assume that this was activity of the more lesbian kind.
the picture, ostensibly, related to the fight back in the war against obesity, and was all about how people can meet and fall in love irrespective of any weight differential between them.
my interest in the story and the picture was not so much that as it was just how much the gent pictured in this image looks like George Bestial off of The Viz. it really is an uncanny, perhaps scary if you are familiar with the character, likeness. this got Spiros very excited, as it is through his readings of George Bestial that he learned of a new appreciation for animals such as donkeys and dolphins.
on one of my many adventures in the car, i parked next to a BMW Z3 thing. on the window of that car was this sticker, assuring anyone that passed by that if the skies were dark then there would be absolutely no hairdressing products in it.
this is of value to Spiros as he has a habit of, or if you like natural affinity for, buying cars which are on the whole generally more favoured by hairdressers and stylists. this is a perfectly natural phenomenon, and not one that he should change. but it does cause him some issues, as more than once gangs of hairdressing equipment thieves have targeted his vehicle, breaking into it in the hope that they may steal his hair dryer and scissors.
now that he knows of such a sticker in existence, i have every confidence that Spiros shall be purchasing one, putting it on his car and from there on out live a life free of the threat of thieves trying to access his car without permission. and yes, for the record, Spiros more often than not does have hairdressing equipment in his car.
to be honest i am just about done here for the day, and need to make merry on the roads that lead north. to conclude with, however, here you go - a look at the lottery winning lesbians, employed to celebrate the passing of someone and the lack of financial woes with it in the glory of Commodore 64 mode.
i hope that this first day of september was, is or has been a most splendid one, and that this particular post to start the month of with has been of some interest, even if only in passing.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment