Monday, May 19, 2014

sex toilet

hi there

well, i be knacked and am feeling somewhat ill, but what the icky thump, here's a blog post.

first up, since it was on my blueberry, a pretty bad selfie of me, one that vanity should perhaps see me delete instead of "up".

i do not even remember why i took this one, to be honest. i suspect it might have had something to do with a whole load of that CCTV stuff going on in the elevator, or if you like lift, and so i thought i would just do something of interest for the benefit of anyone that was sat watching it at that particular time of day.

i can but hope that this provided some passing interest or momentary amusement for whoever watched it. that said, also sorry, really, if whoever is monitoring it has to do some sort of report or other such paperwork as and when someone does a selfie in the elevator.

anyway, i suspect you are all really rather more interested in what a sex toilet is, so here you go. it looks like this, sort of. in my imagination if nothing else.

yeah, i bought a purple toilet seat today, and due to the connotations and that of the colour purple - outside of the Spielberg film thing, and book - that makes it a sex toilet, i think you will find. in, as i qualified, my imagination, if nowhere else.

the other toilet seat, as in the one this one was purchased to replace, had some hinge issues; ones that could no longer be ignored. a replacement was needed then. if you are asking "what would have been wrong with just buying a standard white one", my answer would have been nothing at all, except the shop did not have such a thing. my choices were this purple one, a disturbing blue one, a gaudy, horrid orange thing or something with flowers on that, quite frankly, i wish not to think of again.

so, to the delight of my family, the purple one won with some comfort.

William, now that i think, was a bit upset that it was purple and not his beloved green, but when i explained that Mr Toilet Seat Shop man had no green ones he seemed satisfied. i think the flower number was green, but the less said about that the better.

yes, keen and observant readers, this whole episode does reflect my first venture into the world of toilet repairs in over a year. one of my most celebrated blog posts is over here, featuring me as it did and was fixing some new flushes into toilets.

this probably didn't go quite so well as the flushes, but i will have a moan and whine about that just now. in the mean time, another of them selfie things for you.

this one is, i think you will agree, a little, if not somewhat, better than the other one. i took it this morning, look you see, for the benefit of my dear friend Jayson over in SA. as they are having some winter stuff on the go i thought he may like to see me and, indeed, the summer weather here.

right, toilet seat. what a darn nightmare, my fingers are knacked. it seems that whoever installed the previous toilet seat really, really liked that silicone sealant stuff and put it all over the place. it took me, and my (considerably) better half, somewhere over an hour to free the two bolts holding it in place.

however, i am delighted to say that it has gone, and in its place is the new sex toilet, or if you like the purple sex toilet, or if you like even more the new purple toilet seat. or "lid" if you are dead post and that.

so there you are. the finished product. yes, the more observant of you will notice, even in the above picture, it's a bit of a shoddy seat, as it is not flush, the lid leaning to one side. it cost £10, so maybe it is cheap and that's why or perhaps it is expensive and i should be upset about the lack of straightness or whatever. i am beyond the point of caring, it is staying where it is.

not much else to say on that subject really, except to say that it seems to be performing its designated function with little or no issue or quarrel.

for those of you who are wondering, however, since i am here, how that whole quitting / cutting down considerably thing is going in regards of smoking and that, well not and that just plain smoking, there are as many highs are there are lows.

for the most part, mostly, during the day smoking is something that i do not do, not at verk. well, during breaks at work, for sure, but that's all. i did have one or two this evening, i will have you know, as i fought with the silicone. and the ones i had, as this picture may have informed you alread, were them Winston ones. Winston are very pleasant indeed, look you see, but i am somewhat distraught at the harm which has befallen then over the weekend. between Friday and today, right, they have increased in price from £6.28 a pack to £6.61. yes, 33p, or for my friends in SA, by about R5.77 to a shiny new price of R116 (!!!) for one packet. blimey.

i may well stick to the Chesterfield, then, which are, in comparison, more modest in price at a cost of "only" £6.25 a packet. there are elections here this week, let me see which political party will lower the tax and that.

off to bed, with i, i think, for my throat is sore and i suspect i am somewhat ill.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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