this post runs the great risk of being like a rundown of something from the more extremist end of Michael McIntyre's more overexcited, 'blopwhoorrrgoobloobiddybloo" range of stand up routines. yes, that sort of dangerous ground is where i tread, dear reader. there are also a couple of things i should be doing right now, but it seems i am doing this instead, if only for the moment.
i have, presently, reason to use that fine, fine invention known as scissors on a frequent basis as i conduct my day to day affairs. scissors are not, alas, as sturdy and steadfast as they were in the last century. my most trusted pair, or set if that is the right word, of scissors has become blunt. not blunt in the sense of joining the military and then releasing some la-de-dah songs about someone being beautiful, let me clarify - blunt in the sense that they no longer serve their purpose. being asked to do things with tape and corrugated (or however you spell it or whatever it is) cardboard is a question too far these days.
to this end, then, i have purchased what we may safely see as a number of new sets of "blades" to assist in my tasks at hand. here is an example of two.
why have i bought a number of pairs? i do the same thing with pens, really. i buy a selection so that i can get a feel for them, choose the right ones for the right job via the vibe i get off holding them. to a certain extent this is a bit like a tennis player cocking around with a number of similar looking tennis balls to find the right one to serve, only of course i do not put on Andrew Ridgeley style super short white shorts when i do it. well, not so far.
if you look closely at the above picture, or simply look at the close up picture below for a closer view, you will see the problem that exists with predominantly shiny, certainly new scissors. and it is not a problem that relates in any way at all to a former member of Wham!, either.
yep, scissors come in a form of packaging that requires scissors to open them. a bit of a Catch 22 thing going on there, really, except there is no Milo and there is certainly no Yossarian. and not really a correct use of what the best catch there is would be, either.
one can imagine Mr McIntyre getting in to such a state discussing this kind of problem that he would probably break his nose with the formidable cheek wobbles he does whilst making funny noises to describe the problem here. it could well be his crowning glory, really.
fortunately, beyond this blog post, i have opted not to take to the stage as such with this issue, i just took the old pair and coerced them into freeing their successor, as it were, from the packaging. i would suspect it is not of too much interest, but i have gone for the black handled pair first, as they have a good vibe to them. the orange ones feel a touch school-like, to be honest.
right then, please excuse me as i head off to either cut, or not cut and do that which i am supposed to be doing right now.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!