Sunday, July 23, 2017

how soft your fields so green

good day

a bit of a cheeky, perhaps saucy post this one, look you see. underwear is the unavoidable subject of this post. well mostly it is, to be sure, as so gloriously indicated by the title. yes, i know - blimey, they will be saying in Britain, strewth they will be saying in Australia and a whole load of unmentionable cursive words will be uttered by Americans. but, by jove, i am going to do it.

recently, as opposed to some distant future date, i was going about my business when i was confronted with what i consider to be a bargain. strangely this was not within the realm of Poundland or similar. no, it was in a much more posher shop. not that there's anything wrong with Poundland; just some stores have a more discerning set of patrons.

my instinct, perhaps more of a proclivity, is to not leave a bargain abandoned or wasted. it was with a sense of such obligation, then, that i purchased the item i saw which struck me so very much as being of a value not to be betrayed.

yes, as you can see, the bargain to be brought to my attention (and subsequently bought) was an undergarment. ladies knickers, to be precise, although one suspects you have no need for my words of clarification with the precision of Commodore 64 mode being used for this initial image.

it is indeed the case that this item is portraying a celebration of a love for England.  all too often in this day and age the do gooders, the social media justice keyboard warriors and those with too much free time on their hands with absolutely nothing better to think about try to suppress celebrations of England, saying that to do so is in some way "racist". we, as a country, have so many faults, true. so does every other country that ever existed, except Australia if you ask Australians. but we have done oh so very much good too, thank you. every now and then it is ok to recall this.

no, there are to be no pictures of i or anyone else wearing them in this post. i do try to keep this blog relatively clean and non-provocative, you know. i can't say it all avoids upsetting people because everything ultimately upsets someone somewhere. such is life. 

cost of these celebratory, apparently designed for the ladies England undies? 50p, ladies and gentlemen. that is what they were marked and thus that is what i paid, despite them coming up as 25p north of this at the till. i corrected the retailer, they checked, said sorry and applied the correct pricing.

place of purchase? Boyes, where the haberdashery section has gained something of an infamous if not notorious reputation for being a hotbed of repressed sexual longing being unleashed. whilst there i also bought these special limited edition packets of Fox's glacier mints what are ice cream flavoured. i picture them as the price was £1 a packet, but if you bought one you got one free; effectively making one packet the same cost as the pair of undies. so yes, for all you comparison fans, there you go.

are these Fox's glacier mints, or if you like Fox's glacier's mints's, of any significance? maybe. i mean, Peter Jackson et all spent years and years making them Hobbit Rings films, to be sure. there's every chance that at one point a member of the cast or crew had a packet of these on the go. 

quite, yes, the above image is, in non-Commodore 64 mode, the back of the undies. or the reverse if you like. as you can see it depicts St George's Cross, or if you will the Cross of Saint George, fashioned from delightful little love hearts.

i suspect this might be my most favourite part of the underwear, outside of course of the fact that they only cost 50p flat sterling. a recent survey, which i have just carried out here alone in my elevated shed, has revealed that the most sexy thing in the world (excluding David Lee Roth) is the undergarments worn by Austin Powers out of Austin Powers; the ones which featured a Union Flag on the back. yes, the one we all call the Union Jack, but pedants will always insist that you only call it the Jack as and when it is on a ship or something like that

just what do i propose doing with these undies? i am not certain. my (considerably) better half might consider wearing them, i suppose. that said, selling them on has not entirely been ruled out. from what i can ascertain the Japanese in particular are most enthusiastic about purchasing ladies items of the underwear nature. there is much, if not plenty, of Yen i could coin, then.

further comparisons of cost for you, then. the above are indeed 3 CDs, purchased as is, which is to say sans boxes or packaging beyond a sleeve. yes, what you see is indeed Greatest Hits by Queen, which i recall fondly from being on my walkman as a tape made by my Dad in the early 80s, Hounds Of Love off of Kate Bush and the celebratory Ten by Pearl Jam. cost? 49p each. so that makes each disc 1p south of the cost of these undies. it really is criminal how music has been devalued these days, but then again also beneficial i suppose.

do i, when out and about with my business, make it a habit to inspect and see the price of ladies undergarments? not really, no matter what you may think of me. these for sale cheap undies were on prominent display in a section of Boyes far removed from the standard clothing sector; near the hardware as point of fact. i was thus lured in.

true - if nothing else ever comes of them then i have spent an effective 50p, in real if not actual terms, on something that has enabled me to write a blog post which may entertain one or two people around the world. and of course there might be some Japanese reader eagerly stroking their credit card as they read all of this (or simply look at the pictures), considering making a suitable offer so that they may take custodianship if not ownership. the tag says they are a size 14, by the way, whatever that means exactly.

should for some reason your interest in this world be low cost underwear which commits one to making a statement by wearing them then i shall trust this has been of great interest. for everyone else, well, splendid if this turned out to be all more interesting than you suspected it would be.

and now, then, to get on with further matters i must surely do.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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