it would seem, look you see, that i have fallen into that state of erratic updates here. this is something of a shame after seemingly getting off to a proverbial, if not actual, flyer this year, but there you go. if you want you can pretend that infrequent updates are a result of me pursuing quality over quantity here for updates, but we know that this is a lie.
speaking of quality, however, this. this which i see google and apple have had a falling out about the rotation of, but anyway.
yes. as those of you obtuse to have clocked the quote in the title will be well aware, this post is all about a diary, except for the bits which are not. except, to follow through on the quote, you don't have to sneak into my room to see it.
no, you are not incorrect. this is not just any diary. far from it, for as you can see, it's a special secret One Direction branded diary. yes, if you like, this is a continuance of my love of the band, and all five (i think) of the former and current members of the band whose name begins with a D, hence the name of the group.
that is indeed the padlock on this secret diary, there is no fooling you. actually, going on the presence of the lock, surely this is more of a secure diary than it is a secret one? the difference is slight, granted, but all the same quite an important one.
as that padlock is probably made out of mega-titanium or something, and thus is unbreakable, it is perhaps just as well that it comes in a way that the diary is not locked closed. the keys, as you can see, look, are on a magnetised ring of steel and cannot be removed, and are in such a position that they will not reach the lock.
i guess that anything i write in my secret diary will be unsecured, then. which is possibly why it is in fact called a secret diary rather than a secure one. well, what can you expect for 49p. and speaking of cost.
what's that? a blurry image of a theoretical proof of postage for some items i sent to New Zealand. £8.45 - around 17 One Direction branded secret diaries - is what i have paid to send just slightly south, as in 1g short, of half a kg to that land far, far away. how much does that come to per 1g or even per 100g? no idea.
and as for just what it is i sent, well, if i remember to do so i will let you know as and when i get confirmation of its arrival, which should be a formality since i have proof of postage and everything.
what's the quality of the paper like? conventional, i suppose. i mean, it's hardly as if one would expect vellum, or papyrus or something like that. whilst the surface quality is not really what you would call rough, it's not exactly smooth either. it is paper that would serve it's purpose.
and, speaking of purpose, what am i going to do with my smart diary of either secret or secure nature? i actually don't know. the closest i have ever come to keeping a diary is this blog, and this is not exactly what one would call secure or secret i suppose. the point of attraction was firstly the price and secondly that it is One Direction branded. what, if any, use that i would get out of it is only something that i have paused to even consider thinking about right now, and thus far nothing comes to mind. perhaps i will just keep it close, on the off chance that i have some thoughts about One Direction that i wish to write down but for some reason not write down here on this blog.
does my mate Spiros keep a diary? goodness me yes. i once had the fortune, good or bad, to read a paragraph and it made me bleed from the eyes a little. he once considered publishing his diaries, possibly in some small way inspired by the money made when they tried to publish the diaries of Hitler (Spiros reckons he is much, much better than Hitler and so he is by default more popular and so would make more money), but publishers were having none of it. one told him that, even in a edited form, his diaries would break obscenity laws in 38 different countries, several of which he had never even heard of.
i mention Spiros as soon i shall be posting him this smart investment what i made.
that is indeed the DVD of Reno 911 Miami, a very funny film. that it only cost me 25p is a further sad indictment of how devalued physical copies of movies have become. sure, it's an ex-rental copy, but it plays perfectly, and 25p is just still.
should you have not ever or never seen the film before, i do suggest you find a copy, as it really was exceptionally funny. no, sorry, you cannot have this one, i am sending it to Spiros.
why are items with all five One Directioners now only valued at £1 or less? it's not like it was an important member that left. i mean, if there was a Beatles item of merchandising or memorabilia which didn't have Ringo on it, it's not like you would get to pay less for that. if anything, in this admittedly bad example, you would probably expect - and be quite happy to - pay more.
well, i would suggest that it is fair to say i have wasted enough of your time with this particular subject. should i have any other thoughts or observations on the matter of my smart diary that only cost 49p, i will do my best to control myself to the extent of only writing about them in the diary itself.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!