Wednesday, March 25, 2015

in the lap of luxury

hi there

do you ever get one of those unexpected, possibly wildcard, incidents in your life where you get treated and pampered beyond any rational or reasonable level of expectation? such an extraordinary, rare and to be celebrated, if not cherish, thing happened to me today, look you see.

what was it? Arriva, then people who i give coins of money to with the reasonable hope that they will transport me to and from verk in a mostly reliable and partially safe way, indulged us with a taste of luxury today. they allowed us, that is to say me and my fellow passengers, to ride on one of their luxurious "new" branded Sapphire buses, rather than the usual badly maintained, way beyond any hope of repair and far past their end of use ones that they throw at our route in the hope of causing death.

my ride is usually a painful one, and in recent times has been prone to be broken. there was recently this special incident where one broke down, and as recently as Monday we had a bit of a breakdown along the wastelands of Marton Road. and then on Tuesday the driver had an argument with the door which he, quite comfortably, lost.

yes, dear reader. yes i did indeed take some images of this new(ish), luxurious bus that they allowed us to ride on today. i had to do so in a secretive way, of course. but i could not not take them, as presumably they will not allow us such luxury again.

yes, that is indeed a plug socket on a bus. whereas my usual journey on the bus they put on the route features excessive vibration, a proclivity for the bus to screech as it brakes and a lack of even the most rudimentary of shock absorbers, the bus i was allowed on to today, by the grace of Arriva, featured a ride so smooth and the requisite power socket outlet that if i so wished i could have done a spot of ironing, or perhaps even boiled a kettle.

no one actually did those last two points above, but that is perhaps because they were all as baffled as i was as to why we were being treated to such a decent bus for our journey. there was a kind of stunned silence across the bus.

not so much on the older, knackered bus i took this morning, of course. that one featured two students discussing how all the mermaids probably live in the 75% of the oceans that we don't know what is contained within, but that is a tale for another time, perhaps.

the headrests were all nice too, and the seats were comfortable. also, the windows were a good deal cleaner than the ones on the buses they usually put on our route. which is saying something.

to what end, or for what purpose, did we get a new bus today? that, dear reader, is a very good question. it cannot be simply because all of the other buses were, at last, broken to a point that they could no longer make a gesture of starting. they have been known to simply cancel services for our route in those cases, with no word of notice or alternate given.

i suspect it is some sort of barbaric, psychological torture. perhaps they threw this bus at our route just for once so that we could see what it was like to travel on a bus they deem suitable for routes they seem to like. that would be the ones they run a service for every 10 minutes, no matter how empty the buses are. unlike ours, which features one bus an hour, and is always packed to capacity as a consequence.

Spiros also had a taste of luxury today, you might be pleased to know. he took the time, trouble and effort to send me a picture of the swanky place he went to for lunch.

what did he have? usually he would have either a Greek or Turkish dish, or maybe some fried chicken. today, however, he told me that he went and had the sausage special at this place, and was in no way at all disappointed with what he had.

now is not the time to dwell on the adventures of Spiros, however. you want more images of the fancy bus i was allowed on today. to that effect, then, here is a last image.

yes indeed, at the top centre-ish there you can see a television set. what did we get to watch? a message across it that read "connect cable". we all watched in the hope that someone would connect the cable and we could have a gander at some sort of TV show, or see the news about a plane crash or someone leaving One Direction, but alas it was not to be. i would say perhaps next time, but i suspect they will not allow any of us to go on this bus ever again.

oh i agree, look at how shiny and clean all them poles are! the buttons are all as clean as, well, a button too. that's lovely, that is.

there are, it is worth noting, the only headrests on buses i have been on it town that do not have 'Daz' carved on them. i am not entirely sure exactly who this Darren is, but if i ever met him, right, i would shake him by the hand and say how impressed i am by what a prolific bus rider he apparently is.

it will, no doubt, be all back to normal tomorrow, with the patience of my spine tested by a dangerous old bus. perhaps i shall gaze upon these pictures that i have taken as i ride, sweetly reminiscing about the time that the people at the bus company treated us like decent human beings.

i trust your travels today featured the luxury and class that i was allowed a taste of.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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