Thursday, March 05, 2015

cow camouflage

hello there

i am feeling peculiarly tired and drained, dear reader, for no given reason. as i made certain promises, commitments if you like, concerning further information on what the cows are up to, i do all the same feel obliged to present that update here right now.

the below is presented in more or less linear order, except that they are not in any sort of chronological pattern, look you see. as we saw in an earlier post, that i now walk my way up to the bus stop in relative daylight every day means that the cover of darkness under which the cows sought subterfuge for their revolutionary, evolutionary-like liberation plans was extracted from them.

thanks to the power of zoom and the high definition shortcomings of my blueberry phone device, i have taken a sequence of pictures which carry an air of mystery and covertness to them. some video too, as it happens. but you don't want me to describe; you want to see.



the interesting thing in the above picture, other than the snow, is exactly what you think it is. yes, that's right dear reader, the cows are indeed engaged in what very much seems to be actual herding. quite a controversial and provocative claim, i know, but i saw it.

i appreciate that for most the herding instinct is only something that was really experienced in the time of dinosaurs, with the closest modern version of it being cockneys congregating around shiny things. the modern version is not true herding, of course, for they never stake a claim to loyalty to a particular territory - after migrating north to praise the shiny thing when it was in Manchester, they have of late found themselves back south - not far south enough for some, granted - congregating at the gates of a Russian who has purchased the shiny thing on a regular basis.

video footage to substantiate my claim that cows have developed enough intelligence to engage in herding? why, but of course, dear reader, or if you like viewer.


video

i think the above is pretty conclusive evidence of them displaying herding instincts, and should be satisfactory even for the most dubious of doubters.

the dangers of cows developing herding instinct are several and probably quite apparent. after herding comes hierarchy. hierarchy very seldom ever ends well for anyone outside of the hierarchy, as we are aware. if we go back to the modern day variant of herding, with the cockneys, i ask you to recall that unfortunate recent incident in Paris, or some other such French sh!thole, where the herding cockneys in pursuit of a shiny thing forbade one who was not of them from getting on their train. this is quite possibly what the cows will do to us.

a hierarchy, of course, implies a leader at the top. we will get to that cow just now, but in the mean time, here is another picture of the cows, their camouflage broken by the snow and sunlight.



yes, it is all as scary as it looks, dear reader. however, it would be amiss of me to not share my findings with you. if i vanish one day, as in there are no updates here anymore, then you can take it as a given that the cows have been alerted to my monitoring of them and have laid the first strike against the world outside their field. or maybe some other misfortune, like having teeth removed or something, has befallen me.

another video to substantiate the danger we are facing? of course.


video

now, earlier on i mentioned how one of them hierarchy things invariably involves some sort of leader, or upper class that rules. the herding developments of the cows - and you can laugh or mock all you want, but i believe the videos and pictures here show that cows very much do herd - has advanced to the stage where this is happening.

the day after all the above so far saw, mostly, the snow being gone. it also saw the majority of the cows in one field, with just one remaining in the palatial field of rule - the, if you like, nkandla of the fields.

yes, i sneakily took a picture of this, the heir apparent to the kingdom of the cows, or if you like their designated emperor. at least, one suspects, until that rather amorous and downright horny bull makes a return to these fields.



oh, you wanted more video of the fields with snow on the go, and you are not particularly interested in all this cow business? well, it might be a great act of folly from you to not heed the herding dangers i am alerting you all to, but fair enough, burying the head in the sand has worked for centuries, here you go.


video

it is a lovely bit of video, that, and a terrific bit of snow. however, now is not the time to be sitting around admiring it; there is more analysis required of what this one, solitary cow, ordained as leader, is up to.

i bet, mostly, that this cow has a really super cool deluxe amazing boss name. it could be something as snazzy or as straightforward as Stripe or even Red, but i suspect it might be that the cow is known by the code name Sentinel, or maybe even Lone Wolf.





code names are cool, man. everyone should have a code name instead of their real name. it's not fair that just cows, career criminals and people whose names sound a bit like a Beatles song gets to get them. i suppose a compromise might be that we just call each other by our given names, yet we do so on the basis of understanding that the given name is also a special code name.

well, that's that for the latest cow update. quite worrying, too. although many of you might have read all of this and declared it all to be "perfectly normal" cow behaviour. yeah, that's exactly what they want you to think, right before they oppress you, possibly destroy you, and lay all you know of the way you live to waste and ruin.

some of you might for some reason have read all of this despite having no interest whatsoever in the topic. if so, thank you for that, and you are to be rewarded on a provincial, somewhat regional level. some of you might be for some reason interested in what snow looks like from the doorway of the Bongo. well, wonder no more, for here is a class picture of what it looks like.



Payney, in particular, i would imagine will be very interested in this.

a video of it too? sure, why not, since i happen to have one at hand here.


video

anyway, i shall leave it to you to draw your own conclusions in respect of the latest cow findings, and indeed imagine what it is like for Payney to stumble out of the doorway i filmed from when the pop has got if not the better than the equal of him. special to watch, it is.

i hope, against all odds to the contrary of it possibly being the case, you have found something of interest and enlightenment in this post.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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