Thursday, March 26, 2015

bus book review

hi there

well, here we go - two more books read upon the bus. two quick read books, as it turns out, for it does not feel all that long since the last reviews.

the next two might come along fast too, as the one i have selected next has less than 200 pages, but also could be in incomprehensible Japanese. let us leave that aside, look you see, and worry about the two i have already read.

quick, spoiler free review? Exposed was a fast and OK read, nothing special, and The Nemesis Program was just plain ridiculous. but also a fast and entertaining read.

right. as these are fairly predictable, pedestrian novels, there are *** MASSIVE SPOILER WARNINGS *** in place for the rest of this post.  as usual, links to books are there purely for ease and convenience; they are not an endorsement, affiliation or recommendation of where you should buy. if, for some reason, you buy.

if i, by some strange quirk of fate, turned out to be Alex Kava, the author of Exposed, and a quick shove my my hand down my strides confirms that pretty much i am not Ms Alex Kava, i would give my lawyer a call and get them to have a word with the creators and writers of an episode of that CSI thing which was called Bad Blood. it is dangerous to throw such an allegation or accusation about, perhaps, but i cannot but help suspect that the writers of that episode had read this novel before coming up with an entirely original, almost exact copy of this storyline.

plot? the FBI get called out to a potential crime scene, expecting a bomb or car explosion. instead they find a virus thing has been unleashed. whoops.

as a consequence of this, the two FBI agents who were closest to the person infected with the virus are thrown in some sort of hardcore quarantine thing, which is where they spend most of the novel trying to solve the crime. which is pretty much, basically exactly like, the episode of CSI linked to above, only from what i can recall Special Agent Sam Malone off of Cheers is not in the book.

the virus unleashed is an extraordinarily rare strain of ebola - a bit of a tame version of the ebola i currently have with my manflu, but pretty lethal all the same. there are only 3, maybe 4 people in the whole of the USA that could possibly have access to it. the FBI work this out as soon as just over halfway through the book.

the virus dude could pretty much get away with it, too. only, in a very James Bond move, instead of legging it, he decides to rather invite the FBI to his class lab (not, sadly, a hollowed out volcano), lock them in a room full of monkeys and tell them his masterplan. guess what happens next.

Exposed was very light, disposable and very forgettable reading. it was, however, pretty entertaining. it also features none of the (very) bad acting associated with the episode of CSI i seem to keep mentioning. 

onwards, then, to The Nemesis Program, which is book 9 in the increasingly stupid series of novels featuring Ben Hope. i say increasingly, but i suspect this is the zenith, it surely cannot get any more stupid than this.

plot? how about the whole novel? you saw the spoiler warning, so read on at your own concern.

Ben Hope has given up being an ex-SAS dude that trains people to rescue kidnap victims whilst sorting out world threatening incidents. he is hanging around a vicarage when we find him, knacking trees with his recently discovered son. he is planning on being a vicar, and is about to get married to some lass that has had the hots for him for quite some time. Brooke, or something.

alas, an ex-girlfriend turns up in a fat panic about a friend being killed in France. she is sat telling Ben all about it when some dudes in an Audi turn up and start shooting. this makes Ben quite cross. so cross, in fact, that he gives up on the idea of being a vicar, postpones the wedding (to the distress of the bride to be) and goes off on a jolly crusade with the ex to find out who was shooting at them and twat them one.

keeping up with this? good. the two discover that behind the shooting is (groan, sigh away) a shady, secret organization that really rules the world. they have made a classy Tesla Death Ray, that can oscillate things like earthquakes into being, capable of destroying countries. this makes Ben even more mad, and so he sets out to destroy them all.

the best bit is probably towards the end. they know that the (you saw the spoilers, yeah?) Tesla Death Ray is hidden on a commercial container ship. they know the name of commercial container ship. as this is a perfectly valid, legal, registered and visible on radar ship, they could have gone along to a smart website called marine traffic to locate it. instead, though, Ben and his merry band of partially alcoholic former soldiers decide to launch an assault on a highly protected building and offer to set some dude on fire - with vodka, no less - if they don't tell them where the ship is.

i think i have read 5 or 6 of these Ben Hope adventures. however many it is, there will be no more. i have every confidence that a 10th will be out soon, with Ben going "sorry i ran off with an ex to twat people, please still marry me" just before going off to twat people. enough, now.

if you are looking, then, for something that's not quite trashy but also not in any danger of being serious or heavy literature, these books would fit the bill. if i had to chose one of them to say "yeah, that was worthwhile", it would be Exposed. sorry, Ben Hope fans.

well, on to the next books, then. hope these have been of some use to some of you!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post a Comment