Thursday, September 03, 2009

15 incredible lessons to learn from the episode of Batman called How To Hatch A Dinosaur.....

hey everyone

well, as James has a love of both Batman and Dinosaurs, what on earth could be better than seeing an episode of Batman that promises to have a dinosaur in it? not a great deal, to be honest! of all the 30 minute episodes of the fantastic 60s series, this is one of the all time best.

why is How To Hatch A Dinosaur such a great episode? well, here's a guide to the many gems of information i got from watching it.....

but first, of course, a warning - *** SPOILERS AHEAD ***

01 the rather dangerous, highly radioactive substance radium is usually stored in exact amounts of two pounds in safety containers that are fairly easy for petite blonde radium lab assistants to carry around....

...but a bit on the heavy side for 6ft tall bald lunatic men

(it's also worth noting that, going on Gotham, all cities have a "Radium centre")

02 Bessarovian Cossacks, led by the Queen of the Bessarovian Cossacks, have absolutely nothing better to do with their lives than follow a bald, demented lunatic on a quest to hatch a dinosaur for no apparent reason or prospect of financial gain.

03 in terms of safety and security, the best way to keep a 40 million year old Neosaurus egg is under a spotlight in a museum behind a bit of rope.

04 the ideal way to disperse radium is via a wonderful device called a "zapping machine"

05 radium is highly dangerous. however, only the person dispersing the radium needs to take the safety precaution of standing in the secure area of the zapping machine; anyone stood next to it will be safe.

06 when budget cuts are applied to libraries, the first saving made is by canceling the subscription to the magazine The Southeastern Regional Journal Of Applied Radiology.

07 sometimes you only need to hear the title of an article to understand exactly what the whole article is about. this is particularly true if the article, as featured in the magazine The Southeastern Regional Journal Of Applied Radiology, is titled "Revitalizing Fossil Forms By The Use Of High-Energy Radioactive Energy Sources"

08 Batman and Batgirl are two of the greatest crime fighting detectives in history, but are apparently unable to detect when an elderly gentleman in the employ of Batman is in fact speaking to both of them at the same time.

09 Bessarovian Cossacks are absolute rubbish at sword-fighting. three of them armed with rather hefty, Samurai looking blades are unable to defeat one boy wonder with a conventional, rudimentary sword.

10 if four or more Bessarovian Cossacks attack, the best defence you can opt for is to throw an absolutely massive stuffed bear at them.

11 although the only fossils found suggest that an adult Neosaurus dinosaur was no taller than 1 metre, when they hatch they are in fact roughly the size of a grown adult male.

12 after successfully hatching a 40 million year old Neosaurus egg thanks to the combination of radium and a zapping machine, the first instinct of the bald, lunatic madman who did it will be to run away and demand to be locked in a police van, conveniently parked outside.

13 four Bessarovian Cossacks armed with swords and one Queen of the Bessarovian Cossacks will not be enough to defeat one 40 million year old man sized Neosaurus dinosaur, and thus they will also demand to be locked safely away in a police van.

14 Robin (the boy wonder) and Batgirl are intelligent, but not intelligent enough to notice that the Neosaurus statue is missing and that the Neosaurus dinosaur that just hatched is more or less the same size as Batman, even though Batman was noticeable in his absence during the fight with the Bessarovian Cossacks.

to their credit, mind, Robin and Batgirl fancy their chances against the Neosaurus dinosaur in hand to hand combat, which makes them, if nothing else, bolder than the Bessarovian Cossacks.

and finally....

15 40 million year old Neosaurus eggs, as well as being conveniently man sized, are equipped with a special, secret hatch somewhere which allows Batman to sneak in to them and pretend to be a Neosaurus dinosaur. even more conveniently, it appears that as standard 40 million year old Neosaurus eggs are hollow.

so there you have it! a lovely episode of Batman, i strongly recommend that you seek this edition out and see it as soon as possible!

see you next Bat Time, same Bat Channel..................
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