Wednesday, May 13, 2015

the purple barrier

hello there

these pictures are, as point of fact, mostly from Monday. except, look you see, the ones that i took yesterday, which was Tuesday. unless i am very much mistaken. sorry, you of this generation that want everything instantly, that it took so long to get them posted, then.

what are all these pictures of, then? well, there's a hint to a hefty percentage in the title, but let us rather have a bit of a gander instead of speculating and discussing, dear reader.

here's something unusual to start - yeah, a selfie.

indeed, vanity would usually prevent me for sharing a picture which suggested hints of a double, perhaps triple, chin that i have on the go, but i quite like this one. i feel as though i have the sort of aggressive stance on the go that Daltrey did at gigs with The Who. and blimey, that hair and beard of mine is going all the more grey these days.

but, you didn't want my quasi narcissism here; you were promised purple barriers and here is your first look at those purple barriers.

this pic has come out rather well, considering it was taken with my bluebbery in zoom mode from an office window at verk. as you can see, they are a mighty shade of purple, them barriers are.

what do i think about them purple barriers? if i wrote of that now, i would have nothing to say later, when they feature again. scroll down if you are all that bothered, i suppose. 

speaking of being all that bothered, some of you were quite interested to know more details about the items i got in the post yesterday, specifically the unsolicited yet very welcome items of pornography from Spiros.

whereas i am not going to post the rather more obscene elements of what Spiros sent me i feel it is safe to show this extract off of the Sunday Sport. he was rather keen for me to see it.

as i think you can make out, this is a story of a TV show that's all about people in Russia getting very drunk (who'd have thought) and going off fishing. the article suggests that a British version of the show will be made in the near future, to be shown "late night on Dave or something".

Spiros is very, very excited about all of this. to the best of my knowledge he is gloriously indifferent to the world of fishing, but he is rather enthusiastic about alcohol. also, the idea of falling into an unspecified body of water whilst sh!tfaced has always been an ambition of his. to this end, then, he has proposed that we get a head start on this TV show. should i ever go to visit him in the city he has given me every assurance that he has found some splendid canals by which we can get drunk and then attempt to fish in. i, as you can imagine, dear reader, cannot wait.

Monday, oddly, was the kind of challenge for me that pretty much every day must be for Spiros. no, i did not have a raging hangover, or soiled strides, but i did have a remarkable lack of sleep. a lack of sleep with good reason, but all has turned out well so there is no need to discuss that further.

i did need some assistance, however, to get through the day at verk. i thought about getting some fancy vitamin supplements or something - Berocca, i think they call it. i then, however, thought that Pound Land would have something similar at a considerably lesser cost. to this end, as you can see, they did.

Body Volt, coming from some sort of unspecified, presumably eastern European country (i think maybe Slovakia) is marvellous stuff. and an absolute bargain too, as this tube contains 20 fizzy tablet things that you dissolve in water for the cost of £1. when it comes to medicines, or health, i am a firm believer in going as cheap as humanly possible for myself, whilst sparing no expense whatsoever for the other 75% of the family; which are the members of my family that you all, i am quite aware, like a good deal more than me. that's not really an issue, i would be inclined to agree with that point of view, really.

back to the purple barriers you say? fine, no problem. here is another look at them, only this time taken outside, and indeed taken very much at ground level. sea level, if you like, although you can't actually see the sea in this picture.

what do i think of purple barriers? mostly i think they are smart. they are eye catching, distinct and distinguished and certainly stand out. they are clearly purple as some sort of branding exercise, and as a consequence would, you would think, be easy to identify if stolen. not that we considered stealing them, honest.

also, though, purple barriers are a silly and, frankly, f****** dangerous idea. the idea of a barrier is to keep people away from danger. a significant part of that working, you would think, is them being visible. at night, i would wager, purple barriers are not quite as visible as those crappy orange or magnificent yellow ones most companies tend to use.

speaking of danger, verk. no, as a standard part of my job i am not usually exposed to danger. which can, as you can surely appreciate, sometimes make things a little dull. so we create our own danger.

oh yes, what you are seeing here is what you are seeing. it's a live, armed, fully operational (plugged in) toaster, right next to two bathrooms which can produce as much water as you like. also, the carpets have been soaked in water for good measure.

yes, putting a warning up is cheating a bit, i suppose, but there you have it.

did anyone, you may ask, have harm befall them? were warnings ignored and someone went ahead and activated, or if you like detonated, the toaster? was the herd trimmed?

as far as i am aware, and do forgive the dramatic pause i have inserted by starting a new paragraph, absolutely no one fell for this cunning, devious yet utterly, utterly brilliant trap. the day after this image saw no signs of an explosion or burnt flesh. a failure? yes, no, maybe. perhaps we shall try and lure someone in with it again, or perhaps we shall simply obey all that health and safety stuff.

another look at that drunk fishing stuff? sure, why not.

i am, i suppose, looking forward to doing all of this with Spiros. i really think, though, that he is using it as yet another exciting means to meet men who like the sort of things that men do with men that he likes.
the other items that Spiros sent me - the ones that shall not feature here - mostly involved a password for a website. on that website, i quickly found, i could - if i so wished - watch videos of ladies bathing, or if you like washing, certain parts of their body that normally you would think they would opt to do in private.
back, to end, then, to this magnificent Body Volt stuff that i got off of Pound Shop.

did it help me? yes, no, maybe. i got through the day OK, and if this stuff helped, well then so much the better.

i am not really a selfish type, and so was quite happy to share with my colleagues. few dared try them, but those that did had some interesting insights.

one colleague, a professional raver, likened the experience of drinking it to how, obviously in his imagination as he would not do anything illegal, it would feel if one were rushing away on some sort of pill or powder based narcotics designed to enhance the rave experience.

another said that the ingredients, which you can sort of make out here, are basically the same stuff that, i mis-quote somewhat, "what they give in them tablets to people who have got AIDS". i am unfamiliar with what goes into such tablets, alas, but do feel free to read the ingredients on the tube that you can see here and determine, if not ascertain, for yourself if that is indeed the case. if it is, well then bravo to Pound Land for making them available at such an attractive, accessible price level.

right, that shall do for this post, then. sort of sorry if anyone has taken any sort of offence to anything in this post, or any from the last 11 years, but hey ho, do try and learn to take some things with a pinch of salt, and indeed simply ignore or disregard anything that causes you upset.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post a Comment