as the title of this post suggests, what's on offer here is, for the most part, socks. no, that's not a euphemism or anything sordid like that, i do mean socks as one would wear on their feet. if, look you see, they had feet upon which to wear them.
socks to you, normal person, might be a rather straightforward, fuss free and relatively easy matter of necessity. not so much for me, dear reader. i have size 13 feet and, for the most part, socks are designed to fit a maximum capacity of a size 12 foot. this means that, normally, i must wear socks which are somewhat tight on my feet. no more, thanks to that nice man Mike Ashley and his Sports Direct shop. he had some socks in stock that go north of suitability for my size. nice one.
Mike Ashley is of course, for many football fans, a man that should be referred to - indeed knighted as - Mike Goldfinger, for he truly has the midas touch. football purists, from Sunderland all the way through to Middlesbrough, are in awe of the sterling job he has done with Newcastle United. we are all slightly jealous of him doing to the team that which we wish we could; but all the same we wish for him nothing less than many more decades of doing what he is doing.
for me, giving money to Mike Ashley via Sports Direct is exciting. i get to live the dream. every penny i give to Sports Direct has the potential to be used towards hiring a legend of football, be it Dennis Wise or Joe Kinnear, to serve Newcastle with honour and distinction. to that end, then, i also bought some rather fetching new size 13 boots of a sort of hiking and walking around nature.
yeah, Dunlop ones. they do the tyres and that, which are known for the most part for being for road surface use, so they must be really smart at making shoes and things for your feet too. wonky logic, perhaps, but logic all the same.
indeed this is one of those posts that i have composed, for the most part, to let the regular readers know that i am around. every now and then, right, when i have not posted for a couple of days, i feel an obligation to do so, even if i don't have that much of interest for the general population.
how am i getting along with my wireless keyboard and mouse? pretty much OK. there was a bit of an incident this morning with the mouse, right, where i couldn't switch it on. put it down to fatigue or being really tired if you are of a mind to be kind, but as it turned out i was just being a great big fanny and not pushing the "on" switch all the way to "on", so as far as the mouse was concerned it was not, as point of fact, "on". my (considerably) better half was somewhat less of a fanny whilst i was out at verk and had a fiddle with it. it was she who discovered that i was being a fanny and put it on properly.
i have decided on a course of action in this respect. as Pound Land charge a mere £1 for a pack of 8, 11 or 12 (never 10, for some obscure reason) AAA batteries, as in the kind this mouse needs, i am just going to leave the power button set to "on". the sleep mode seems pretty good anyway.
yes, indeed i do miss certain friends from my former place of verk, one that i can hardly believe i left over 2 years ago, when i have such fancy new boots. Zama in particular, from what i recall, was always happy, eager and excited to test the patience of any heavy duty boots that i had just obtained.
how will i test the patience, indeed temperance, of these boots? a good question. thus far the boys have been most and splendidly kind in testing them in one way for me. when they see that i have them on they view it as their cue to take a foot each, jump up and down on it and ask if i can feel it or, more pointedly, if it hurts. so far no, it has not hurt, no matter how hard or frequently they choose to jump. very kind of them indeed, i am sure you will agree. and, no doubt, congratulate them on their efforts to try and induce a little bit of pain and suffering with my otherwise, for the most part, wait for it, equilibrium like relaxed and at one with all kind of lifestyle that i try to have.
but, dear reader, the velocity must be tested. i must test these boots in an impact sense by hurtling them, as they are upon my feet, as fast as i can at a soft, almost fleshy like surface. perhaps very much fleshy, covered with an armour of regular clothing. i shall, over the next eight to ten weeks, make the effort to travel to some sort of metropolitan place - a city, if you will - and see if i cannot test them properly.
another look at my socks, only with a £10 note for purposes of scale? why surely.
i have indeed, regular reader, gone back to reading on the bus - a somewhat interesting novel that i had no idea was Australian until Sydney featured, as it happens. this means that the celebrated, well read (thank you) bus vibes posts are taking a break for a short while. but i suspect they will return.
well, that will do. i should very seriously, as some of you shall be aware, get an early night tonight. towards bed, then, is where i shall soon be heading.
i trust that all is well with you, wherever you are and whoever you are. and many thanks once more for taking the time to read this.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!