Tuesday, November 18, 2014

where the wild women are at

hello there

something of a particularly busy day today, really, dear readers, look you see. for various school projects and leisure reading activities i had to do a bit of a dash around several shops to secure numerous items. all, you will be delighted to read, were in fact secured.

one of the merchandising stores i had to frequent was one that is, in many respects, a natural home from home for me. yes, that's right, i required the services of a haberdashery expert. i am not inclined, for reasons of fear of causing some sort of hormonal stampede, to reveal the name of the most splendid haberdashery store i visited. it doesn't really matter, i suppose, for i am, as we have seen on the pages of this blog, a frequent visitor to many, if not all, haberdashery stores going.

i can at least show a picture of what i purchased today at a haberdashery store. pretty much the same as i buy every day, really, but here you go.

yes, just one or two basic items for a minor haberdashery related project i have on the go; nothing to concern yourself with.

what was of concern was my somewhat unexpected thrusting into being the, as it were, alpha male in a store full of what can only be described as stimulated ladies. cougars, i believe is the correct term for them these days. MILF would be inappropriate, for, as the conversation a number of them were having informed me, one or two of them were both single and without child. they were not quite so elegant or eloquent in voicing this current status of some of their number. quite graphic, in truth.

my alpha male status came about rather by chance. other than a security guard who looked perplexed by his surroundings, the only other gent was well into his 70s, there apparently at the behest of his good lady wife and of little interest to the, so to speak, pack.

the ambitions of these ladies, expressed as we queued to wait for the nice lady to measure our materials and cut them to order, caused me to quite nearly feint with shock. i had no idea at all that haberdashery outlets, of which i am a frequent patron, had become a hot spot for ladies to attempt to lure men of the male variety into assisting them with some distinctly hormonal related relief.

i am now, of course, in two minds. my fine moral standing suggests that i should hence forward, or however you say it, cease from conducting business in haberdashery stores, lest i be solicited into some of the ideas these ladies have. ladies, i should say, who have clearly tasted some of their better years, but have many better years to come too. that said, i am considering actually running to the store every lunchtime from verk, just to see what happens. depending on the legal aspects of doing so, i will let you know how that works out.

away from that den of seedy iniquity, or whatever the right term is, there were some roadworks going on near the Bongo. here, you people like images of roadworks, here you go.

oh yes, it is November and yes indeed we had a sunny, partially warm in parts day today. what strange and peculiar weather, indeed. no doubt this sudden rush of heat in the air in some respects inspired the expression of emotions from the ladies in that haberdashery store.

and let us not overlook the fact that the haberdashery store itself was at fault. fancy letting so many ladies of certain desires in a location, all at once, in which they would be surrounded by seductive, stimulating and provocative items such as lace, furry materials, ribbons and them things what you do sewing with.

blimey, or indeed strewth for my more Australian readers, i did indeed get a little hot under the collar with it all. if haberdashery stores are any sort of reflection of what is going on at coffee mornings in quaint little villages - and i have every reason to believe that they are - then it is little wonder that so many vicars and minor provincial politicians are getting embroiled in - there is no other word for it - sex scandals these days.

i trust your Tuesday, if indeed today is Tuesday, i am all flustered, was good.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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