Sunday, November 30, 2014

a silly list that upset me a bit

hi there

yes, OK, i know, it's supposed to be called WWE these days. however, i am writing for a future audience. one in which the last of the renegade, or if you like rogue, panda bears have been hunted down and eliminated. which will be a time, look you see, when the term WWF can be used properly again.

one of the magazines i bought for the boys today featured a list of what it claimed were the best or most iconic wrestlers of all time. here, have a look.

you are, i imagine, currently seething and quite angry at this list. other than the laughable idea of Stone Cold even being in the top ten, let alone the top, this list is a disaster area, is it not? there are many legends of the sport which should be there instead of that lot. here, let us have a gander at some of them.

the most glaring omission on the list is, of course, anyone who isn't a white golden boy of the sport. this would be understandable if all black wrestlers were crap, i suppose, but they were most decidedly not. my mate Shaun, for instance, won't have a word said against Bad News Brown. at least i think it was Shaun that said he was class a few years ago; i am afraid i really don't follow all this wrestling much.

Bad News Brown did, in all likelihood, more towards the look, shape and sense of the world today than anyone is probably aware. would we, for instance, have a president Borat Obama today if it were not for whatever the hell it is that Bad News Brown did to pave the way for his rise to political power? the jury is very much out. actually, i probably should have done some google - for all i know Bad News Brown is Borat's Dad, which would make him all the more responsible.

the most important thing about wrestling is, as you hardly or indeed seldom, need me to tell you is paying the correct level of homage to The King, Elvis Presley. no one on that list does this. well, maybe The Rock with some of the shades he wears.

but none of them paid homage to the extent or in the most excellent way in which The Honkytonk Man did. 

so what if he was total crap at wrestling? The Honkytonk Man looked smart in all his sequin outfits and that, and it was absolutely boss whenever he smashed a guitar over the head of a lesser wrestler. has Steve Austin ever stone cold done that? no, of course not, he is far too busy sulking that no one can see him and has a bizarre fetish about smelling food that is being cooked.

as much as i love The Honkytonk Man, i have to admit that the single biggest name missing off of that list is, as you may well have thought yourself, the one they called the Ultimate Warrior. well, some of you might have said Jake The Snake, but most will have gone with Ultimate Warrior. 

when it comes to quality tassels on garments and in modern society, Ultimate Warrior only really has Daltrey out of The Who as company. had he not had the tassels, right, he would have just been Warrior, which would not have been as smart as being Ultimate Warrior. i mean, Ric "no tassels" flair makes it onto this list yet the Warrior of Ultimate does not? just what exactly is all that about?

there's loads of others too - Jesse Ventura and all that - who are not on it. what a waste of a list.

hope you have all had a splendid weekend.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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