Sunday, July 13, 2014

the day the donkey derby came to town

hi there

well, just so we are clear, this blog post has nothing at all to do with the rather anaemic anthem of the same name as performed by Mulligan & O'Hare. fans of that acoustic thrash folk duo might not be too pleased with the content of this post, then, so perhaps they might wish to move along in a way as controversial as those particular artists are at certain times.

yesterday was, quite frankly, busy. not busy in the way that Jaap Staam famously referred to as Gary Neville being, but busy all the same. i had a lovely stroll around in the morning taking some Joe Longthorne and Susan Boyle over to Gran & Gramps, as one would on a Saturday, and then called in at various butchers and merchandisers of some repute for some articles of lunch for lunch.

i, however, did not take any videos or pictures of that, so let us move on from it.

we had another of them fair / fayre / fete / gala things in the village yesterday, this time hosted by and at the behest of one of the more established concerns here. there is another coming up soon, too, but for now let us not be distracted and consider this one alone. 

yes, i know, some of you get all snotty if there is too much text and not enough pictures, so here's one.

that is indeed William and he is indeed on an unusually coloured big massive inflatable bouncy slide thing. he really loved it, and what is not to love, it was ace, that was. no, i didn't as i am far too big, but if the chap had let me i would very much indeed had a go on it.

James, alas, did not wish to come along. after his exploits at school, where he does all the extra stuff going, and indeed cricket through the week, he was rather keen to have a lazy Saturday, doing all that Minecraft stuff. lucky him, i say, although i thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon out.

new readers here, in particular members of the family of my (considerably) better half, may well wish to look at the menu on the side there, looking at the months and years of posts. you may find things of interest amongst my usual nonsense.

anyway, the title of this blog made a really rather ragged gesture of promise in concern of a donkey or two appearing here, and so we shall let that happen now.

no, it wasn't really so much a donkey derby that was on the go as it was some donkey ride fun. William was in particular very eager to have a go at donkey rides when he learned they would be at this event, even though he was not 100% sure what it meant or what it involved.

it was with some good fortune, then, that he happened to rather like what it involved!

names are something of an arbitrary factor when it comes to the donkey world, really. the donkey, after all, cares not for what name a human attributes to it, no more than it cares for who judges the latest series of X Factor Idols, or whatever. if there was any sort of tangible, fiscal value in donkey names, then Mike Ashley would own as many as he could and sell on the naming rights to make more money to prop up the so-called cockney mafia, after all.

Mel, that was it. i am almost certain, nearly to the point of being sure, look you see, that the donkey that William too a ride on was given the name of Mel.

onwards, then, and there was plenty to do at this gala or fayre or what you wish to call it, at far more reasonable prices than the last one. William could, for instance, catch three ducks at a much lower cost than what was on offer last time.

also, there were mega, ace, class things like this.

smart padded toy building and riding things them were, or whatever the proper name is for them.

what looked class, and indeed was class, but was not in a sense class, was the mini fire engine ride. i have prepared a short video of it for you, if your browser and your hardware equipment, or if you like the ment of equip, allows you to indulge watching.

yes, it was all indeed, as i mentioned but you may have forgotten, rather class. the problem was, alas, that it went on for somewhat far too long, and covered a greater distance than i anticipated, and my ill-informed levels of health and woeful fitness ratio meant that i could not keep up with it. William got a touch scared, alas, being in it on his own then. whoops.

he liked it, at least, at the times i was able to keep up and he could see me, so his mind was at peace and he could simply enjoy the ride. when the journey was over, however, he did express a wish to now go home, and remonstrated along the lines of how i should have run a lot more than i did to keep up with him. which is a pretty fair observation.

home we went, then, with me being told off and me also thinking that i could laze around, feeling tired out and just relax for the remainder of what one traditionally calls Saturday. this, alas, was not to be the case for me, as i had forgotten that i had made a commitment to take a stroll with the family down the village to dine al fresco, as it were, upon the green of high.

with no margin to shed a tear for my plight, then, onwards we strolled. my (considerably) better half was of a mind to have that most celebrated of dishes here, and that is what she got. with a fork construed and indeed constructed of plastic, too, which is a bit of a stark challenge to the cuisine approach of the airline industry, i would imagine you are thinking.

yes, the Parmesan, more commonly known on the streets here as the Parmo. a magnificent dish it is too, and has been the supreme choice of meeting dietary concerns here for the last two decades or so. if you have never had one, well, you are missing out then, and i lament the fact that you have not tasted the finest of food known to man.

the more understated of 90s Bill Murray performances has come to mind. i may well explore one or two options in this regard in the close future.

no, i did not have one myself, as i fancied a pizza. but i have had a Parmo before, so if you insist on hero worshipping me, well then there you go, there is an altar for you.

William was not really having any of it, but James decided to give it a go, at the least.

oh yes, indeed James is wearing the most appropriate of shirt for enjoying a Parmo in!

i require a new rainjacket, or waterproof one. i was wondering why i was getting soaked in the seasonal rain as i walked around in it; today i discovered one of the sleeves is in fact all but torn off. what's that range of threads Liam sells, Pretty Green or something? let me see if he makes his wares in big bastard size.

dinner, supper, tea, whatever you may wish to call it, was a most, most splendid affair. i had one of the finest of takeaway pepperoni pizzas you could wish to find in the more civilised corners of the world. William seemed to enjoy his too, as did James, at least at the times when James was not indulging in samples of Parmo.

did i have a go at one of them family selfie portrait things? of course

that came out somewhat better than my usual efforts at those, i think. it helped that we were sat down, i suppose. my apologies that this was not taken at a state event as has become the accepted norm, but it works for us at the least.

hoots, mon. i have just had a look at Liam's clothes. very, very smart, but very, very expensive and alas, no, he does not retail them in big bastard size. oh well. that lot that Freddie Flintoff does the clothes and that for do big bastard size, so i will just speak to them to sort it out.

it was not all just sitting around and eating, of course. we took James' beloved mini football, a gift he got off of Aunty Maria and that twat Uncle Sinbad when he was born, along. yes we had a sort of a kickabout, but also i had to throw it a lot so James could do class headers and "on the fly" volley kicks. no wonder my arms feel so sore.

William joined in with that too, which was pleasant, but it did not last long. no, not when there were things like special statues on which one could climb, no matter what any by-laws said of doing that.

a very pleasant afternoon and early evening, in which time flew by - an hour was gone in the space that i thought was only 15 minutes or so. 1-0 to Einstein on that front, then. we eventually had to depart in order to make sure that we could get some ice cream too, before that shop closed. oh yes, i was permitted to pay for it all, what with my (considerably) better half helpfully "forgetting" to bring any money and that.

yes, i know that some of you would really rather see more of them family pictures featuring the 75% of my family that you all like, so here you go.

do i mind that i am in the bottom 25% of popularity and liked ratings of my family? no, not really. just one of them things, isn't it. i could and would not fix it no more than gravity would alter the way in which it works, if indeed it does work.

tomorrow allows, if not affords, the opportunity for yet another day of release things. it's the new Morrissey album, which i am not all that bothered about. however, if there is a Morrissey album available and i did not get it my mate Shaun would absolutely knack us, so i will get it at lunchtime i guess. it will probably be quite good.

one more family picture, then, featuring me for those of you who are less fussy, and you can be on your way to some other part of the internet.

right, i suppose i should get ready for this football thing coming up later this evening, and investigate possibilities and potential for big bastard sized rain attire that is of a suitable price.

hope you've all had an excellent weekend, i do believe we have!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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