Thursday, August 29, 2013

marlboro premium black

hi there

well, here's one of them posts that i probably should not be doing.it's not big, it's not clever, and it is no doubt something that the powers that be would no doubt like very much to see banned from the web, like it is everywhere else. that would be, as the title here suggests, a cigarette review.

on my travels through Dubai airport, i noticed a "special edition" of Marlboro on sale, going by the name of Premium Black. with such a cool name, and indeed formidable packaging, a purchase was inevitable. Marlboro would be my brand of choice, you see - good enough for David Bowie and Robert De Niro, good enough for me, thanks.



as you can sort of see off the iTwat camera, the packaging is rather lavish. indeed it wants to be, really, since 5 packets in a carton cost just about the same as a regular issue Marlboro carton of 10 packets would cost.

what is that cost? i think it was a few cents shy of US$20 in Duty Free. and where are the promised pictures of everything in that Commodore 64 mode that i was so excited about in my last post? right here.



wow, that does look class. so class, in fact, that i do not know why Marlboro did not release advertising images on the Commodore 64 back in the computers' heyday in the 80s. Bowie would probably have bought more.

that said, some of you for some reason probably do not appreciate quite how class everything looks in "C64 mode" but are interested in this product, so here's one of them proper pictures for you.



other than the sleek black packaging you can see, the inside of the box is reasonably interesting. it's like a plastic-ish black bit covering the ciagrettes with no silver foil to tear off. instead it's a sticky red seal that is attached to the lid, opening and closing with the box. quite clever it is, and probably the reason these cost so much.

now, with them being called Premium Black i did have some wild hopes that they would be ultra if not uber cool black cigarettes inside the packet. alas, Marlboro (or if you will Philip Morris) did not take that approach at all.



yes, that's right. they are premium black white cigarettes with the word "black" printed on them. yeah, that works. just write on it what you want it to be and thus it becomes that.

i am not sure why they are not black cigarettes inside, as that would make the name of them make sense, and make them way smarter than they are. probably a cost thing, i suppose. i do know that you can get different coloured cigarettes - an ambition of mine has been to get some of them brown/yellow ones that Sean Young has in Blade Runner. sadly, though, they are French ones, and i have not yet brought myself to purchase French cigarettes. who knows where such an action would lead?

i suppose to find out why Marlboro Premium Black are in fact white one would need to consult whoever it is that came up with them. good luck with working out the name.



yeah, this is where fancy fonts can sometimes be a pain. just what is the name of the person or organization that designed these? i think that's supposed to be pinin farina, but it could also be pininfanino i guess.

are the cigarettes any good, you ask? are they worth the rather high cost (in Duty Free terms) and are they as premium or exclusive as the name and availability all suggest? well, let me light up another one whilst you have another gander at the packaging.



you might notice something missing from the packaging. no, not the usual warnings - they are indeed there, warning of all sorts of diseases and nasty things. what is missing is any of the usual stuff about content - you know, levels of nicotine and tar, all presented in measurements that mean nothing at all to the average chap or lady out and about in the world.

i have a theory about why that is, but first here's a picture, yes C64 style, of me having a go at one of them.



it would be my considered and learned opinion that there is no indication of nicotine or tar content of Marlboro Premium Black cigarettes for the rather straightforward reason of their being neither of them present in these things.

to this end, the cigarette is ignited in the usual, conventional way and you draw or drag on it and smoke happens, but there's not much in the way of a "kick" or taste to them. at all. rather smooth it is, but not in any way, shape or form a regular smoking experience. there's the slightest of smooth aftertaste, but that's it.



as a smoking experience, it's pretty much how one might imagine how a "prop" cigarette would be, if such a thing exists in the world of movie & TV show making. not that they are allowed to show smoking in films or on TV anymore, since smoking on such things instantly makes people want to go and do it whilst nothing else at all on a moving image has quite the same effect.

it's not really a cigarette for smokers, then. well, i suppose it is for them ones that go for those 0.000001 rated nicotine brands, with even less tar i suppose. i kind of think these were designed more as a fashion accessory for models, poseurs and, if we are honest, twats in general. in regards of the latter, you know, the kind that wear berets and like using their MacBook Pro or iTwat to play games on, thinking that they look incredibly hip and enviable as a consequence.

ok, maybe they are not quite so bad that they are for such twats only, but i think you get my point. there's a novelty factor to them, since you would appear to be only able to buy them in Duty Free, but it's not like it is a major loss that you can't get them from rather more regular stores.



so there you have it. they could have been a good deal worse, but Marlboro Premium Black are not quite as excellent as they seem to think they are. overall i am glad i picked some up and tried them out of a sheer curiosity perspective, but life would have moved on just fine had i not bought them.

if you're a smoker and you happen to be in Dubai, or any other location they are selling them, proceed with some caution, being mindful of the price. that said, you will no doubt be as curious as i was and purchase them anyway!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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