Sunday, July 24, 2011

a lesson in losing

hey everyone

well, this is a poke fun at something so bad it's laughable, so if you are not in the mood for a rant then i suggest you skip this post. see ya later!

DSTV, the brand that annoys most people living down here, have absolutely outdone themselves with a new campaign that fails on every level possible. despite their pay per view scheme of a few years ago being such a disaster that it was quietly removed a few years ago without a word they are having another go, but are laughably calling it "video on demand". it isn't.

here's some of the promo stuff for it; it really is bad so i thought it best to try and capture it here before they remove it. how bad? it is almost like that utter gobsh!te who loves the sound of his voice so much he endures afternoons with that horrid, ignorant woman on the radio frequently cooked it up just to take the proverbial.

have a look at this.





winning? sorry, WINNING? oh really, come on, get that finger on the pulse. that whole Charlie Sheen thing was over and done with months ago. this starts off, then, about as lame and old hat as you can get on the internet - they might aswell have put some Chuck or Hoff references in.

the actual five reasons they are winning hardly cover themselves in glory. i appreciate the text, even if you click on the pic, is a bit small, so here is number one on their list :

I could spin you a whinge about skipping discs, or sections of a movie that won’t play... but instead I’ll bring you to tears with this sorry tale: I have never seen the last 5 minutes of Silence of the Lambs. After nearly two hours of clutching my blanket right under my eyeballs, the DVD froze mere minutes before the end. Upon return to the store, there was no extra copy and, as happens in life, I just never got around to finding another one elsewhere. Sure, I could read the wikipedia entry but, frankly, I smelt a gory ending coming and I still want to see it.


what can you say to this person other than "what a f*****g retard", really. if we skip by how could they possibly know that there was 5 minutes left if they claim never to have seen the film there's the small matter of The Silence Of The Lambs being 20 years old. it's been on VHS, Beta, DVD, regular TV, M-Net and DSTV numerous times. you can even buy it right now for slightly more than the R25 fee per "video on demand" offered by DSTV, but then again for considerably less than the R1000 or so that you have to fork out for a PVR to get this service anyway. and you can watch it for more than 48 hours.

if we assume, though, that someone is indeed retarded enough to have decided to wait until some magical "press a button and it will come on for a fee" service to see The Silence Of The Lambs, then they are in for a great disappointment. behold the spectacular range of films they currently offer, and note what's missing





yep, a whopping 15 (fifteen) films are available on this service, all "recent", most due to be screened on regular DSTV that we pay a fortune for anyway and every single one of them, you would imagine, would have been bought or rented long before this service commenced.

what a shame for the person who claims this service is "winning" that The Silence Of The Lambs is not on this select list. although they seem to have forgotten that.





"the movie i want to watch will always be available". yeah, right. as long as it is one of the fifteen titles they have "selected" for this odd waste of space service.

credit where it is due, though - either DSTV have even more brass neck than previously thought when it comes to the lack of interest they have in customer opinions, or their site moderator has better things to do than check comments on weekends. the messages left about this "winning" service are quite special - here is a sample of them before they clean up their site :





so, if you have a burning desire to watch any of these films and for some reason have not (high quality pirate copies of Black Swan have been doing the rounds for nearly a year now, everything else got a pretty wide release at the cinema and on more legit DVDs), have one of these PVR things that people seem to complain about and money to burn, off you go. here's the link, and do be careful as they seem keen to remove the films within days of making them available - so much for the "on demand" part!

the sooner they accept that the vast majority of their client base are there for the sports and childrens channels only then the sooner they can stop it with these expensive, waste of time experiments. who knows, if they did that it may mean that they wouldn't have to keep "unfortunately" shoving the subscription fees up.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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