i appreciate two things about the title of this post. i am aware, look you see, that unless you happen to work for some outfit called Japan Tobacco, you are unlikely to know the answer to this question. also, i appreciate the fact that many of you would respond with something along the lines of DFK DFC, which is to say you could not care less and assume the same should be true of me. it is not.
with my beloved Marlboro costing north of £9.40 per packet i have had to accept that they are beyond my funding. as my efforts in quitting / cutting down considerably have been a spectacular success thus far, i have had to move to a more modest brand that i actually liked. i found that in the form of Winston Red.
pictured above, dear reader, in the glory of Commodore 64 mode, is what could well be the final packet of Winston Red to be sold in the area of Yorkshire; widely regarded and acknowledged to be the finest and really only proper provincial area of England.
Tesco used to sell them. then, they stopped. i moved my weekly grocery shop to Morrisons as a consequence, as they still sold them. as of this most recent of passed weekend, they have now stopped. i am open to offers, then - Asda, Sainsbury's, please let me know if you sell Winston Red.
weirdly, both Tesco and Morrisons sell the lighter Winston Blue. yes i have tried them and no i did not like them. at all. i don't think anyone else but me has ever actually bought an experimental pack of them from either retailer.
moving away for a moment, then, from Winston, but staying with the weirdly side of things. as some of you are aware, i verk in close proximity to Club Bongo International, which means that on a monday morning i can usually see one or two quite curious things that have been abandoned outside of this fine establishment by members of the gentry, and indeed the ladies. this monday was no different.
that, hidden in the hedge, bush or shrubbery sort of thing, is indeed a darkish, or if you like off, blue adidas branded trainer. as far as me and the chaps of verk could see, they were a size 9, and further were in pretty good condition. so good, in fact, that someone has taken them (for both were visible, as you will soon see), so don't look for them as they are not there any more.
more on the shoes momentarily, but for some reason my (considerably) better half considered a, oddly enough, half packet of polo mints were something which needed to be placed in the laundry. if you want to see how a half packet of polo mints fairs against my smart, snazzy samsung washing machine, here you go, fill your boots, have a gander.
the washing machine, so far as i have been able to ascertain, survived the ordeal with a simple shrug. i suspect, however, that these polo mints are now of no practical use to anyone. if you want them, well, sadly they are now binned, so please do not ask.
just why was it that my (considerably) better half felt obliged to test the washing machine with any sort of packet of polos, let alone a half one? if you are asking that, well, you have absolutely no idea how married life works, do you? my place is not to question or protest such decisions; instead i am expected merely to get on with thing and deal with the consequences of her decisions.
that is indeed a tea bag near the shoe. no, no one has been and claimed it as their own yet, unlike the shoes.
why would someone have abandoned a pair of reasonably good condition shoes after a night out at Club Bongo international? it's an interesting question. perhaps they were abandoned not so much as a choice or lifestyle decision, but more that they were lost during a hotly contested bout of fisticuffs. the sauce, you see, can sometimes get the better of gents quaffing it, and minor incidents - how one is perceived to look at another, for instance, or even a debate over the cause of the spillage of a pint - can escalate rather quickly into heated confrontation.
i would like to think, though, that these were abandoned by a chap who was made merry by the sauce, and he declared something along the lines of "f*** these shoes i do not f*****g need them" with a smile on his face as he cheerfully discarded them. we shall never know, i suppose, but we can but hope that the new owner, or if you like incumbent custodian, is happy with them.
some, if not many, of you who do not smoke may well say that surely all cigarettes are alike. no, alas, this is not the case. just as wines, beers, apples and potatoes all differ in taste, so do cigarettes. Marlboro are the absolute king in this regard, but Winston Red have been a fairly close, decent enough substitute, in particular as the price of a packet is most usually south of £7 a pop.
in a recent post i am pretty sure that i intimated that i, so far as i know, have what one would consider to be a pretty good, constructive working relationship with the Japanese. this shall be tested to the full somewhat shortly, as i need to contact some company called Japan Tobacco, who are based in Surrey. they are responsible for Winston here in England, so it is presumably they whom i must address to enquire as to why i am finding it such a struggle to hand them over money in exchange for their product. due to the draconian laws in place regarding marketing and advertising cigarettes, they will presumably find it quite tough to answer me directly in regards of where i may buy them.
for the easily led and influenced of you, please note the warnings on the packet of Winston - cigarettes on the whole are very bad for you, most think, and you should not buy or smoke them. well, actually, you can buy them but don't smoke them. send them along to me and i shall gladly take care of that for you.
should i get any joy in information on Winston Red, i will be sure to share it here!
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!