Thursday, August 27, 2015

lynx cool metal under review

hello there

well, three posts today, and no sight at all of a vulcan or a clingon or anything else out of Star Wars like in the other two, look you see. instead it's time for me to share my thoughts, musings, experiences and general observations on yet another of the lynx range of deodorants. or, if you like, body sprays i suppose.

if for some reason you have an interest in what i think of these products, amongst other posts you can check out my reviews of lynx black and lynx fever by clicking away with gay abandon on the different coloured text you saw there.

although it would appear that i have become something of the self-style leading voice in the world of passing judgement on the qualities of lynx products, or indeed lack thereof, i have not as such as yet been appointed by whoever makes lynx in any sort of ambassadorial capacity. to that end, some frames of reference and qualifications.

i do, dear reader, appreciate that i am not the target demographic or market for the lynx products. i will go one further than that - had i fathered a child some 21 years ago, at a time when Oasis were barely a thing and an "internet" was probably considered a fancy way of describing an inter-city rail network, that child today would be too old to be part of the lynx demographic. i understand that lynx is aimed, outside of the aristocracy, squarely at peasant feral teenage boys so that they may attract girls of a similar social standing in order to engage in rampant breeding exploits.

the problem, and the reason that i return to the lynx brand, is that virtually every other form of deodorant that i have experienced in England has the scent of that lemon infused bug killer stuff. i have no idea why all the other makers do that, but it is awful. not, let it be said, that lynx always gets it right. and when i say "all other makers", i really do mean all. just what is it with this business of shoving lemon into every single product they can thing of? i have no idea at all where they got the idea that it would make anything better, or improve or enhance stuff. i am not at all convinced that it does, but then again i am not a successful manufacturer or seller of any particular product.

so, anyway, is cool metal any good? well, yes, no, maybe. i mean, it's not the single worst experience i have had with lynx products, but it isn't particularly the best either. it kind of does the job.

my expectations of it were to evoke the sense of anything that one might define "cool" metal as. first prize, of course, would be that it made one smell of David Lee Roth. failing that, creating a sense of how a naked Austrian robot must smell as it travels through time, or how a space smuggler would smell when frozen and kept in some sort of very cold metal box would have been most smart. lynx cool metal, alas, does not really make one consider or imagine any of these.

a quick break from the world of lynx cool metal, then, and google still keep inviting me to review products. google has, thus far, not clocked the benefits of that "verified purchase" system for reviews. this means that i am extended the opportunity to present reviews on items that i am pretty much unfamiliar with.

i have absolutely no reason at all to think anything other than my review is fair, honest, accurate and of the greatest possible level of benefit and assistance to people considering throwing 99p at whatever this is.

if you have read the other two reviews, you will be aware that it is a bit of a "thing" that i include a video of the lynx product in action. this is the case here, however, i have not filmed it with my blueberry phone thing. that means the super secret thing, where a blueberry phone records smells as well as images and sound, has not happened. sorry for that.

also, lynx are the only manufacturers of deodorants that seem prepared to put a proper spray mechanism on to their tins. all other makers seem to think that some sort of wildcat fire extinguisher style of spraying does the trick. it doesn't, for it just jettisons half a can at once over as wide an area as possible.

would i, overall, recommend or suggest that a chap have a go with some cool metal? yes, certainly, if they were able to but it for either £1.50 ot £1.99 per tin. it is one of them prices that i paid for it, and indeed that was the main motivating factor behind the purchase of it which i made.

the performance of lynx cool metal? not bad, really, not bad at all. i cannot speak for its effect on feral teenagers, but ladies closer to my age certainly reacted in a positive way.

the ladies of HMV, for instance, were presumably somewhat inspired by my scent, as they spoke with some passion and enthusiasm about Gary Oldman. ok, that might be because i was buying the Child 44 dvd, but then how come Tom Hardy didn't feature in the chat? also, down at Cooplands and Greggs, there was an unmistakable extra hormonal charge when the ladies addressed me, as is usual, as either "sweetheart", "darling" or "love". i did not pursue conversations any further than buying whatever it was i wanted for lunch, but all the same i had the distinct sense that the ladies could smell something, they liked what it was that they could smell and what they could smell was me.

anyway, if you decide to experience or experiment with lynx cool metal, best of luck, and i really hope that it works out smart for you.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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