Wednesday, February 04, 2015

batteries for bono

hi there

well, there's not a lot of point, look you see, in p!ssing about here with a long, laboured, contrived and possibly dull introduction. this post pretty much does exactly what it says in the title, so let us get on with it, and let it be over and done with.

yes, indeed i have decided to post some batteries to Bono. why? i have been asked that more than once, dear reader, and i am completely flummoxed by the question. it is a perfectly normal, standard thing to do, and i do not understand why my doing this is being questioned.

here is the letter. i suppose there's no point holding on to this for some sort of reply, as he is far too busy to write back to everyone who sends him batteries.

Dear Bono

(or whoever opens the mail on behalf of Bono)

I recently needed to get a watch battery for reasons I shall not trouble you with. I bought this rather smart and you would think comprehensive set of batteries. Would you believe it, not a single one of them is the correct size.

Rather than letting them go to waste, or just having them sit in a drawer or something, I thought you might have some use for them. I have absolutely no idea what sort of watch you have, but if one of these batteries is the right size for it then that’s nice. Do feel free to let Larry, Adam and Edge have some of them if they require, although to my mind Adam is more of a wind up watch man, or possibly one of them fancy “kinetic” ones.

Sorry for sending this to your record label in London. I would have sent it to your management in Ireland, only that would have cost somewhere north of £2 to do, and as I only got these batteries off of the Pound shop it seemed to me to be a rather wasteful thing to do.

Cheers for the music, in particular the most recent album, which I thoroughly enjoy playing. For the record, and for what it’s worth, I don’t particularly care how much money you have, or what you do with it – you earned it, do as you will.

I trust that this letter finds you recovering from that thing that happened where you got knacked off of a bike, and that these batteries in some way are of use. 

Yours, etc, etc....... 

i would like to think the above text pretty much covers any lingering questions you might have as to why i have sent some batteries on to Bono. if you still have questions, ask yourself this - have you sent batteries to Bono? no? well, then, get on with it, good heavens. he probably needs them but is too modest to ask. send him a packet, show that you care.

meanwhile, have a look at this image from my dearly missed personal photographer, Trigger.

yes, that's right. a KFC. right f*****g next to my former place of verk, kindly opened after i had left. cheers for that. 

actually, now that i think on, i have not actually had any KFC since i returned home, or if you like since i left the Africa of the South. not deliberate, there's just not one really in striking range of me. i did have a look one morning, as it happens, but they don't do the class breakfast menu here. it is most bad of me not to have eaten the food of The King, Elvis Presley for so long, but i trust He understands.

so, anyway, posting batteries to Bono. here is the obligatory picture of me at the letter box or post box thing with the parcel. 

yeah, that's the address for the label that releases all his smart records. feel free to use this address for your own sending of batteries to Bono. if you have a slightly bigger budget for such things than i do, by all means send them directly to his management office in Dublin, which as point of fact i believe to be in Ireland. 

don't get me wrong, it would be ace to hear back off of him, but he has a tour and that coming up so is probably busy with rehearsals. it is reward enough for me to know that he is not presently short of watch batteries. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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