Saturday, January 14, 2017

the Spiros ascension

greetings fellow citizens

happy news for all of the Spiros enthusiasts that check in here for the latest in his adventures for, look you see, he has indeed been off on another jolly adventure. of sorts.

Spiros, in his infinite wisdom and in his capacity as the greatest legal mind of his generation, elected to have one of them "DNA heritage" tests done. why? it's not for us, as mere humble recipients of the legalese ways in which he changes the world, to question or ask. but he did mention that he thought it would be quite class.

what was required for this test to be done was a sample, or if you like specimen, of the Spiros DNA. the people who reckoned they could work out his ancestry sent him a suitable vessel in which to send off the requisite bodily produced fluid from which they could determine all known history that led to the path to the glory of Spiros. this should have been rather straightforward.

the first sample Spiros sent resulted in a letter being sent back. the company what does this, whose name escapes me, said that whilst the specimen he gave them would indeed have his DNA in it, it was not what they had in mind and requested that he try again.

the second sample Spiros sent in resulted in a request for some clarification, as the resultant test was confusing and clouded, giving as it did over 1,000% of origin. when Spiros clarified the sample, the people what do the tests said that they were impressed with the number of short term mutually beneficial friendships which Spiros had formed that weekend, but requested that the next, hopefully correct, sample be sent some 24 - 48 hours after the remnants of a short term, mutually beneficial friendship with several other gents had happened, as that would lead to a clearer sample.

what's the above? it's a nice drink what Spiros had whilst he was on some travels recently. yes, them coins you can see in the background are a tip what he has left for the bartender what served him.

anyway, the forth sample what Spiros sent in resulted in a letter. the company said that yes, the sample would have had his DNA in, but no, it was not what they were expecting. there was the suggestion, or if you like insinuation, that the sample Spiros sent was illegal to send through the post, and if he did it again then they would refer his case, ancestry and all, to the constabulary.

and so it was to be that the fifth sample of the Spiros DNA was accepted and tested.

there is it, people. if for some reason you wished to know the ancestry of the Spiros, or his ethnicity origins, up above these words is that breakdown. according, at least, to them people what he paid money to.

for Spiros the most exciting part of this is the, in his words, substantial level of blood what he has that originates from Benin and Togo. it is his considered and learned opinion that this puts him quite high up on the heirs to the throne of both countries.

now, yes. at present Benin and Togo are at this stage two separate countries. also, by the standards of Africa, they are democratic nations with a President as Head of State rather than a monarch, be it hereditary or invited. these matters are, however, simple trivialities for Spiros.

Spiros, or if you like King Spiros I, is absolutely sure that once the people of Benin and Togo learn that science has discovered the location of their true king and supreme ruler, they shall convenience him by uniting the countries and preparing a most splendid throne for him. this is a throne upon which he shall sit and reign with fairness, but also exceptional brutality for those who displease him.

yes, that is a Cliff Richard record and no it has absolutely no relevance as such to the ascension of King Spiros I. it just happened to be on display in a bathroom what Spiros had used recently.

Spiros is, he would like it to be known, open to the idea of ascending to the throne of any of the nations what his ethnicity test says he is entitled to. Scandinavia is pretty close to the top of his list should the Benin and Togo gig not work out, although if he went with the Iberian peninsula he already has the Admiral uniform sorted out for it.

how much did Spiros spend on finding out that he was someone who should be crowned king of a nation or two? north of £50, but somewhat south of £100.

more on the rule of Spiros, and other stuff, as and when it happens, dear reader.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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