Sunday, January 15, 2017

the bad shampoo

hi there

a little while ago i elected to, look you see, go full tilt Australian with some personal hygiene products. this is to say that i bought some body wash and shampoo what were 100%, if not 1,000%, Australian. except for the shampoo, which turned out to be off of Monaco or Morocco or something that began with Mo. i think.

whilst i appreciate that usually i go off on one about some products i have bought and never comment on how they performed - except certain deodorant brands - this time it shall no be so. i have been punished for not going 100% or 1,000% Australian with products of this nature by experiencing a truly awful, nay very bad, shampoo.

yes, there is the offending or if you like criminal shampoo. i would like to think that you can see clearly what it is, or otherwise recall from the Full Tilt Australian blog post i linked to in Australian gold up above, but for the sake of clarity it is the Ultimate Blends Argan and Camellia Oils one.

usually i have what i would call a perfectly functional, if not outright good, relationship with this 'ultimate blends' brand. if you can be bothered - and if you can you may want to consider looking for a hobby - you can crawl through some three years of posts here and see how i've gone from being perplexed by their "blended for Britain" slogan towards accepting the fact that they are just about the only game in town when it comes to shoving lemon in shampoo, like what Jason Donovan uses.

this one, though, marks a low point in our relationship. this blend of argan and camellia oils, whatever the latter happens to actually be, just does not work. the bottle of it would be thrown away, to be honest, if i were not so cheap and if i didn't believe a UN task force would be required to make sure it was disposed of in a way that caused no harm to seals and other such animals what rights activists like to campaign to save because they look so cute.

why, all of a sudden is the Amazon listing for Thor The Dark World appearing on this discussion of less than satisfactory shampoo? well, figured i would add another rant in on the back of this one, to save you, the quality reader of quality stuff, having to read two whining posts.

in his wisdom William has elected to watch all of them Avengers films and related character "standalone" movies. we have all of them on that blu-ray thing, except one. yes, Thor The Dark World. i didn't bother getting it at the time as it was boring, but had a look around now that he has asked for it.

sadly i won't be buying it off of Amazon, then. although their face value price of the disc is reasonable, they want me to pay a penny south of £80 per year in order for me to spend a further £10 to buy this off them. yes, they've made selling some items on the internet an exclusive thing for "Prime" members.

let me rather just stick my head in HMV, then, or look at other places that sell on the web, and buy it off of someone that just charges the price displayed for it, and doesn't stick £79.99 on the price.

back to shampoo? surely, but first how about an AA joke off of my Dad? no, not that AA, the other one.

Dad's smart AA (no not that one the other one) joke

The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take with them - a shovel, blankets or a sleeping bag, extra clothing (including woolly hat, gloves and a scarf), 24 hour supply of food and water, de-icer, rock salt, torch, spare battery, petrol can, first aid kit, and jump leads. 

 I look a right tw@t on the bus. 

so, what exactly is wrong with this argan and camellia oil shampoo? it's very stringy. stringy as in it leaves your hair all stringy.

actually, that does not do it justice. what this shampoo does - to me, anyway - is leave your hair feeling like the frayed, dangling, well used discarded threads of steel wire from discarded trawl warp. everything about this makes your hair feel hardened by sea salt, oil, grease, fish blood and the sweat of salty sea dogs who have toiled to capture dolphins but vowed to tell everyone they are the less cute looking tuna, honest.

will i be buying this shampoo again? no. well, maybe. i mean, i got this for £2, which is about 50% or more off the usual price of this size bottle of ultimate blends. a bargain, so to speak. if i saw it that cheap again, or cheaper, then maybe. but hopefully not.

as ever, hopefully this information has been of use to someone somewhere!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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