Tuesday, November 17, 2015


hello there

no, alas, dear reader. i know that some of you will have, look you see, assumed that this post was something to do with either my current car or one of my previous ones. why? well, as legend has it, any car that i drive becomes, by default, something of a fanny magnet. what can i say, it's the way that i was born and i don't like to go on about it. instead, then, this post is about magnification rather than magnetic qualities, fanny or otherwise.

Gramps has, of late, being struggling to read the newspapers. this is as a result of a combination of things. that he is 87 certainly plays a part, and that he has only had the one eye for close to 70 of them has some bearing. also, and mostly, however, i believe it's because them b@stards darn sarf that make the papers deliberately do so in a way that the print is smaller for the editions printed in proper England (Yorkshire, which should be totes obs) because they are jealous.

potential solutions to this problem included making Gramps younger, magically conjuring up a second eye, petitioning the b@stards darn sarf that make the papers to increase the print size or purchase some sort of device which magnifies that which you read. the title of this post, and my ace introduction paragraph, has probably already told you the winner.

no, you're not wrong - the perspective i have accidentally got on that picture really rather does look like i am about to set upon Gramps with one of them mentalist light and magnifier things like what dentists use as an integral part of their assault on you. an assault, lest we forget, that they expect you to not only pay them for, but also to thank them.

that's the finished product, but i am sure you want to have a gander at the assembly process, for i had to build this magnifier. you can indeed partially see images of the assembly process here, in as far as the points at which i remembered to take pictures.

like, for instance, this one of the bits in their styrofoam tray; a tray which was in itself inside a perfectly serviceable brown cardboard box.

at this junction it has occurred to me that you may well want to know details of exactly what magnifier was purchased. it is possible, after all, that you are reading this not out of any interest in me, but because you are looking for a similar device yourself. to this end, i can tell you firstly that you are not wrong at all to have little or no interest in me as such, and on the box it says this is a 9666 magnifying LED lamp, from Coopers of Storford. wherever the hell that is. if it helps further, their postcode (for i am guessing that this is what this next bit is) is CM23 2JU.

how did i get on assembling the above? very well, as point of fact. there's not many bits to it, and it all slotted together so quickly that i forgot to take pictures. well, except for this one of the pole for the magnifier in the base, and a look at the point at which you connect the leccy.

how did this compare to other building projects i have engaged in with Gramps? pretty good. our greatest triumph together was of course a water slide, in which i got to mix concrete manually on the hottest day of a very hot African summer. why? because it saved on the R35 rental fee for a concrete mixer. R35 translates into, roughly, US$2, or if you like £1.75. yeah, i thought it was wise too for my Mum & Dad not to waste such an amount of money when they could get me and a shovel to just do it all.

also, in putting this magnifier together, it was only the one curtain that i trod upon and pulled down. it's cool, though - i managed to re-attach everything and no one would ever know. 

does the magnifier work? yes. if that's all you wished to know of it, sorry it took so long to answer that, there's the info you want, bye.

still here? excellent, for you i shall hand over further information that may or may not be of use or interest to you. if not, well, that's your problem for reading.

the main problem, or if you like drawback, with it is the same problem which exists for all magnifying glasses. this is to say that what is being magnified underneath the glass is not done so to the same size across the whole of the glass. i think it's because you are focusing on a specific point or something, i don't know i am not a biologist. it takes you a little while to concentrate and focus on the part you want to.

after that, and indeed beyond that, it's really all rather good, to be honest. assembly was, as hinted, pretty easy, with only the absolute mildest of electric shocks possible from the wiring you have to do. the flexible, bendy stem for the magnifier "gives" with ease and can be adjusted simply, yet retains the qualities of stability required to stand where you want it to. the power cord is of a refreshingly decent length, allowing you to plug in and position in a mostly fuss free way.

cost? no idea at all i am afraid. my Aunty (no, the other one) bought it. i cannot imagine they are all that expensive, however. and my experience says that they are very smart anyway. the gent for whom it was purchased and it was built for is happy, anyhow.

indeed that is The Sun he is reading. i know several of my friends - with very good reason - do not like this "newspaper" at all (to put it mildly) and have boycotted it. whereas i don't disagree with them at all and personally stand by them, this is my Gramps - he can read whatever he wishes to, and to question what he does is to cross me. which, you know, you're welcome to do if you feel that strongly.

from my perspective, it's just a bloody great shame that, now that i have the means to magnify it to, i believe, the power of five or if you like x5, The Sun no longer seems to do all that Page 3 thing. hey ho.

right, that will do for now. hopefully this has been of some use to anyone who was for some reason looking for a magnifying glass on a bendy pole.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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