Wednesday, June 10, 2015

20p off of cling film voucher disposal

hello there

well, this should, assuming that Royal Mail have not found some means of further prohibiting or inhibiting their, i don't want to say service, work, arrive at the destination indicated tomorrow. for those of you reading this in a bit of a rush, if you combine the title of this post with the next picture, look you see, you should pretty much be able to work out all you need to or would want to of this.

for those of you in not so much of a rush, or now intrigued for some reason to learn more, or just simply have nothing better to do, let us proceed to the full story, or what i can recall of the full story.

as frequent readers will be aware, i seem to have become quite the proponent, if not exponent, of Poundland. smart, it is, and particularly useful for obtaining fluids to drink and mints to suck upon of a morning, so that i may be sustained through my day at verk. i would say that, on working days, it is more common to find me popping in there than it is to not find me going past.

every now and then they offer you some sort of voucher, promotion or other such means as to encourage and entice you to spend more money. this would be fair and reasonable, as it is a business after all, not some sort of public service institution. last week was such a week of such offerings.

i was gifted, dear reader, on three separate instances, voucher sort of things off of the till that would enable me, or the bearer, to claim 20p off of some smart cling film, or perhaps even a bit of fancy kitchen foil.

yes, i wrestled with this too. if i went into a store and purchased cling film or kitchen foil with this document, it would not be a pound i spent on them, and thus make the name of the store confusing.

on wrestling, i wrestled with what to do with these vouchers for much of the weekend, or at the least which moments of the weekend that i recalled i had these voucher things shoved into my bag. i pondered, i did, as to which celebrity, public figure or other such concern that i should post them to, so that they may get the benefit of them.

Bono, of course, came to mind. i like to let him know that not everyone thinks he's a twat by sending him a gift every now and then, saying cheers for the music and that. however, he did not say thanks for the smart batteries i sent him, so i presume i am to take it as he has no wish to be the recipient of further gestures of gratitude from me. so, Stephen Fry it was, then.
here is the letter i sent with the vouchers to Mr Fry. a better, clearer copy of the text? sure, why not.

Dear Mr Fry

Usually, before I head in to the office, I stop off at a branch of Poundland to get a couple of bottles of water and, every now and then, some mints. It was as I engaged in this last week that the staff of Poundland – always exceptionally friendly, and a sheer delight to engage in commerce – kept on handing me vouchers which offer me , or the bearer, 20p off some cling film or kitchen foil.

I can assure you that no matter how little cling film or kitchen roll you use it is the case that you do use more than me. I thought that you might have got some use off of these vouchers then. It was send them to you or let them go to waste, and the latter does not sit at all well with my conscience.

Perhaps my fondest memory of you is from some 20 years ago. I was on a long distance flight and, due to a packing oversight, in the cabin I had only two tapes – Tommy by The Who and one of them ‘Canned Laughter’ tapes of A Bit Of Fry And Laurie. As this was all in the days before you had a TV screen in front of you, I listened to both on repeat for 11 or so hours, no doubt reading a John Grisham paperback as I did.

Earlier in the year I bought some watch batteries from Poundland. They turned out to be not the ones I needed, so I posted them to Bono so he and the rest his band, the name of which escapes me for the moment, could get some use. I did not hear back from him. I mention this because I appreciate you are probably as busy as Bono is and so no doubt would not have the time to respond either.

I trust that they are of some use to you.

apologies for the repeat of the Bono battery story there, but i felt that Mr Fry should be made aware of it, lest he thought i was some sort of nutter, randomly sending him cling film vouchers with no provenance in respect of similar random acts of kindness.

but have i not disparaged or bad mouthed Mr Fry on these pages in the past? you could interpret it like that i suppose, but i happen to really like him, or at least as he was. i don't particularly care much for all them twerker messages he sends and his projection as the most intelligent man in the country, but he knows a lot about cricket and, once upon a time, he was a most amusing comedian. 

yes, i did indeed post it second class. to my mind, Mr Fry is the sort of chap who would blow an absolute f*****g gasket at someone going to the opulence and indulgence of sending him something first class. far be it from me to challenge the modesty of the man by arguing with this.

i have every confidence that Mr Fry, or his people, have absolutely nothing better to do than get items like this in the post and take advantage of the generous - 20%, lest we forget - discount afforded by such vouchers. should you have any spare vouchers, well, now you know where to send them.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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