Monday, January 13, 2014

marketing gone mad

hello there

first, a very warm welcome indeed to what blogger/google assures me is the all important 2560th post i have done on this blog. if you have read so much as half of them, blimey. many thanks to all those who do stop by, even if you (perhaps wisely) leave not long thereafter.

of the numerous things which excited me about my return home, few were as exciting as proper washing up liquid. whereas the rest of the world, as far as i can see, is bombarded with all sorts of choice and options, in England, if indeed not the whole of the United Kingdom, things were a little more clear cut. here, you either used Fairy Liquid or you did not, and if you did not you died of plague, scurvy, trench foot or any sort of other diseases speculated as being linked to not using Fairy Liquid.

not that the last 20 years or so has seen me entirely devoid of Fairy Liquid mind. as far as i know i do not have scurvy, which must relate to an episode in the mid to late 90s. a visit to Clicks, a store famous in South Africa, on one fine morning saw me leap and dance with joy as they had decided to stock Fairy Liquid. the lady i was with witnessed my performance and assumed that i was some sort of certified, professional homosexual, as i recall, such was my joy at this washing liquid being available. hey ho, they don't know.

i return to England, then, fully expecting never to contract scurvy or whatever due to the prevalence of  Fairly Liquid, and what do i find? those who have remained in England will know, but for those who have not and have for some reason remained interested in this post, here is what i found

what's this all about? this is like that deodorant stuff that doesn't call itself deodorant from a few posts ago. why exactly is Fairy Liquid not called that anymore, instead just using the name Fairy? i am assuming either some marketing twat came up with a whole "rebranding strategy" that spoke of keeping Fairy but ditching Liquid so as to appeal to the iPod generation, or some legal twat, mindful of statues, laws, regulations and hourly legal fees declared that it could not be called a "liquid" even if it was a "liquid" because it did not conform to the expected standards of  liquid.

and what's with the variations? once upon a time you could walk into a store and say "grocer, bring me Fairy Liquid, my good man. i have no wish to contract scurvy, going on what i have heard about how it makes sailors go peculiar, and for some reason i believe Fairy Liquid will help me avoid this affliction". if you did that now you would get the response "what kind".

i note with some interest, as per the below "close up" picture, that it is only the Platinum range of Fairy (Liquid) that has the Royal seal of approval. that must be to help them avoid some sort of aristocratic variant of scurvy. it's this kind of segregation that feeds republican movements and in many respects it is a shame to see the makers of Fairy (Liquid) exploit it.

at the risk of upsetting a number of my friends, i am not really anti-monarchist in a similar sense to the way i am not all together pro it. having lived under one exceptional President, one chap who looked like he would be good but only had the job part time for a month and two dreadful Presidents that did all they could to destroy a country, i am really rather inclined to say that if ones goes with a Head of State approach, on my experiences the certainty of monarch trumps the choices of President.

this whole "Platinum for Royals" business does explain that wave of releases of what we members of the proletariat call "best ofs" or "greatest hits", does it not? calling it 'The Platinum Collection' apparently attracts the Royal seal of approval, something that means Chas and the rest can listen to them and not be offended.

right, i am off to go and find something else to moan about. the next time i am at the shops i will probably have a look at the toilet paper and see what they have done to that.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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