Monday, January 19, 2015

the gratitude attitude

hello again

what what, a second post on a school night whilst i am labouring away with the perils of manflu? why yes, you lucky reader, yes that is exactly what this is. it must surely be something of exceptional importance then. yes. yes it is. and also no.

i came into possession, look you see, of six 2nd class stamps which are of a Christmas style and theme, in terms of their appearance. i came by them by reasons i wish to remain private, although i would like to stress that it was by perfectly legal means.

i had to decide upon what it was that i would like to do with these stamps, and i soon came to the obvious conclusion that i would quite like to reach out to various personal hygiene product manufacturers based in the UK and express, for the most part, gratitude for the items they make available for sale. this is, i am fairly confident, what all of you would have done faced with the same circumstance.

which producers of personal hygiene products have i composed letters to? well, in the case of all but one i thought i would really rather leave that secret, or unsaid, for now. i thought it might be more appropriate to share the letters i wrote only when i have a reply, or when it is patently clear that no such reply shall be coming to me.

and yes, dear reader - learning from the Michael Bolton incident, i have indeed included reply details this time around.

also, i thought seeing one of the letters which i composed might well serve you in showing you the kind of thing i have decided to send. that way, if you don't like it, well, you know to skip similar posts going forward. as opposed, i suppose, to going backwards.

yes, Lynx are the letter you can see. Lynx, as it happened, spoiled my fun for, as is visible in the above, they have a Freepost address. this meant that there was no point at all in using one of my stamps on a letter to them.

what is it that i have written to Lynx? via the magic and the intricacies of a saved document and the wonders of copy & paste, here you go.

Dear Lynx

Just a quick letter to say that I am finding using one of your products in particular, the Excite deodorant / body spray, most satisfactory to use.

I am, for the most part, finding that it somewhat accentuates my sexuality. This would be opposed to it either acting as an extension of it, or simply enhancing it. I would like to believe that this is the intention you have for it amongst us consumers, and so believe it might be of interest – no matter how passing – to hear this.

The peculiar thing about it is that the unmistakable base scent of Excite is that of coconut. Coconut is a food substance that I do not like, but it is a wonderful smell. I would be hesitant, indeed reluctant, to say that this circumstance I find myself in has any irony to it, as the song Coconut by Harry Nilsson is one that I am particularly fond of.

Many thanks indeed for taking the time to read this letter, and of course my greatest thanks for making available for sale a product which, if not doing what it says on the box, nonetheless serves its purpose to a most admirable and appreciated extent.

and then i signed it all off in the usual way, as it were.

the letters to the other companies involved in the personal hygiene business are more or less of a similar tone, which is to say life affirming and positive. with the exception of just one - one that i trust will be obvious when it is revealed - they are all products that i either presently use or have used extensively in the past.

a picture of the letterbox i used to post these letters via? i don't see why not, dear reader.

yes, it was indeed the "old faithful" letterbox, the one which is as close as you can be to being in the shadow of the town hall, which is a hall in town. you will note that the area around it is not covered in snow - funny what happens when you are in an area where the provincial, or if you like district, council tend to take snow seriously and don't just increase tax to an equal extent to which they cut spending coins of monies received.

what are my hopes for these letters? none, really, except that someone at the respective companies may read them, and know that at least one of the otherwise silent unless something goes wrong consumers which they serve - and, make no mistake, profit from - are grateful for the products which they sell.

an image of me actually posting the letters? but of course.

i am greatly indebted to the receipt of the stamps, then, for without them these gestures would probably not have been considered as an action to take. we can only hope that this mail works out a lot better than the Bolton thing, or the Barbs incident, where i got no response. sure, the lack of Barbs response might relate more to me leaving the country i gave her an address in, but still, she has people she could have instructed to find me if she was all that bothered.

as and when i get replies, or if i determine that no such reply will come, the rest of the letters shall be revealed. assuming, through the mist of pain of manflu, that i have saved all the letters properly.

if this has inspired you to compose letters of appreciation, or indeed gratitude, to the otherwise faceless, profiteering multinational corporations of the world, so be it. from the acorn comes the tree; from this we can make the world a better place, or at the least make sure it stays as it is.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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