Thursday, January 29, 2015

the last of the love bead toothpaste

hello there

and so it ends. this is something of a sad post, dear reader. for reasons somewhat entirely out of my control, toothpaste that has lovebeads, or if you like love beads, shoved into it for no apparent reason or purpose, have been a big part of my life for the last three or so years. well, yeah, i suppose i could have said "no Dad, make do with the toothpaste you can get on the shelf, look you see", but such a move would have displeased him.

as promised or perhaps proposed in my previous post, i went off to town to see if i could source the final few tubes of toothpaste with lovebeads shoved in it. i am delighted to report here that this venture was one which met, indeed ended, with success. behold, and gaze as i did upon four superb tubes of this toothpaste available to purchase from a retailer of some repute.

oh, no, you are not mistaken as you look at the above. the final four tubes to be sold within the limits of the town were indeed made available at a sale price claiming to be half of the standard. economics is a peculiar thing, ladies and gentlemen. from what i recall of supply and demand models, and how retail works, the rare or scarce nature of something usually means a higher price is commanded. not so here. go figure.

i contemplated taking only one or two of the remaining tubes. after all, there must, it stands to reason, be another enthusiast out there who will miss this particular style of toothpaste. my contemplation rather ceased with thoughts of "no, f*** them, their fault for not getting here before me". also i have endured some three years in which correspondence with my father has been all but limited to the subject of this stuff, so i was to be damned if i was not going to finish the job.

here, then, are the purchased four tubes, along with some other items i bought.

yes, yes, there will be more on the other items later, don't worry. or, if you like, you know to avoid later on if you really do not like the look of the other items. and no they are most certainly not getting posted anywhere.

are these, you ask, really the last four tubes available for sale? as far as i know, yes, and you really have asked. one very kind and supportive reader has adopted the fight for toothpaste with lovebeads shoved into it and has undertaken some research. here, have a gander at the picture i was sent.

this is an image from a store which is basically one big, massive, gigantic even "f*** you" to that Pound Land place. they, as the signs suggest, sell items for 99p rather than one neat, round pound sterling. they must have to have an awful lot of 1p coins in their tills. although i have observed people buying items costing less than 99p on their credit card. that, ladies and gents, is how banks get very or if you like tres rich.

anyway, a concerned reader forwarded this on as an act of help. they said that this looked similar, and wondered if this would in any way help my present plight. and it is my plight, dear reader. it would be easy to say actually it's my Dad's problem, but he has made it mine.

sadly, the answer is no. despite the good and heartwarming intentions behind this being forwarded to me, this does not help. although this toothpaste has the same "tingling mint" mouthwash description, what this toothpaste contains is in fact crystals and not lovebeads. what is the difference? that, dear reader, or if i may my friend, is a very, very good question. it is not one that my Dad has answered to any sort of completeness or satisfaction, unless to you "i want the one with lovebeads in" is what constitutes as complete in the satisfaction sense.

a look at the toothpaste i bought, then, is to the side, along with them other items and a receipt for the toothpaste, so as to give some sort of plug or promotion to the seller.

will my Dad be reimbursing me for the cost of this lovebead loaded toothpaste? i could be cynical and say "ha", which i just did, but instead i shall say no, and that my Dad says that i should not think in such a way, and accept that getting it for him is reward enough in itself. which, i dare say, it is. it is not like once in my life i have ever gone or done without over the years, and in a sincere way it is most splendid to be able to give back. it's also nice to give him a bit of a dig about it.

the other items? Star Wars watches that cost less than three pounds each. they are bang smart, they are, too. they had some other designs, but they were all Stormtrooper ones. for some reason or other, and i am sure this makes sense to someone, the first wave of Star Wars merchandise off of the Disney has been very, very heavy handed with the Stormtrooper side of it all. it's like they have gotten it into their heads that the thing everyone remembers and loves off of Star Wars is the Stormtroopers. If this is a reflection of their overall strategy, it makes Episode VII - Mission To Moscow all the more a scary prospect.
a quick break to go to South Africa, a country i love dearly and one which is filled with, for the most part, beautiful people. but there's a very, very bad element, and not just the Government and erratic, trigger happy athletes who are disabled when it so suits their defence to be.

this picture is of a crime scene from a shopping centre i went to once or twice, and one that a lot of people i know visit frequently. basically, seven people were shot by gunmen doing some sort of robbery. 

it has not had the rolling, widespread coverage around the world that mass shooting incidents in America and France of late have had. why not? that's a very good question. perhaps it is because crimes like this are far too frequent in SA. from this week alone, for instance, they have had a family killed via an attack with an axe,  and then there was some poor bloke beaten nearly to death due to someone believing they had damaged their car, or something equally trivial. there's also things like the electricity grid being about to collapse, which to some is a more pressing problem. none of these matters quite tie in with the utopian freedom that those great political thinkers Bono, Jim Kerr, Sting and Bruce Springsteen all promised, so perhaps the matter just gets dropped so as not to offend those notoriously sensitive musicians. also, that the crimes are committed by black people against people of any colour they can get to might be awkward for the world media in these extremely sensitive and worried about saying anything that may cause offence days. it is quite possible, of course, that it is not reported as it's all just not as glamorous as when it happens in some American town no one has heard of, or Paris.

what i quite like about the above picture is that the police are rather casually rushing to a crime scene down an escalator. i don't think i can add any more.

so, does the Star Wars watch collection off of the Disney feature Boba Fett? why, yes it does. here, have a look, he is on the strap of the red one.

quite smart that is. i am not sure, with them being designed for the kids, that one of them would fit me. at the price, however, i might buy one for myself and see if it fits. it would be quite smart, that, walking around with a Boba Fett watch on.

another look at the toothpaste before it gets all bagged up and sent off on something of a James Cook tribute endeavour? sure, why not. i will miss it when it has gone.

ah, yes. the down side, if there is a down side, to being a toothpaste mule for my father. it is me, indeed i, that gets to go into the toothpaste and explain, for security purposes, that what is in the parcel is in fact toothpaste. it is perfectly legal to post it, as per previous exploits here, but that does not mean it is an action which makes sense to anyone at all, least of all the staff of the postal services of the world. i can hardly wait to have the conversation about why i am sending toothpaste. it shall be sad, however, as it will be, unless Colgate change their mind, the final time i shall have such a conversation.

January draws to a close. quite by accident, and not really by design, it feels like my month has mostly been Spiros and toothpaste what has had lovebeads shoved into it. pretty much, then, like every month ever for quite some time.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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