so, here we are. this evening - a fine, splendid sunny evening of summer at last, look you see - we are on the eve of the day that we will vote on a matter that, apparently, will have a bad result no matter who wins.
yes, referendum time. and yes, sadly, my mind was made up a long time ago. as discussed here, if it was the freedom of movement across the EU which made them change the laws to make it so difficult and so expensive (in more ways than money) for me to come home then i have no choice but to vote leave. find me someone who would, in my position, willingly vote for or in favour of something that stopped them from going home and you have found someone who is unsure of what home means.
in my heart i wish we had no vote. i wish we had strong leadership that had successfully argued our case and got what we deserved from Europe. i wish that Europe was not run by bureaucrats that panicked over perceived Russian expansion and changed rules to allow countries that did not qualify in. i wish we could be part of a mutually beneficial Europe rather than a mutually limiting one.
if presented with the choice of carry on with things as they are forever no matter how bad they get or get out now and deal with the consequences whatever they might be, the latter is the only sensible choice. for me. for everyone else, not so much. the polls say, roughly, 40% want to leave, 40% remain, 20% not sure.
that 20%, man. they are surely being targeted with all sorts of arguments - all of a negative nature - from both sides in a hope of scaring them into their vote.
that there are some of the half a dozen or so leaflets we have had this week. i quite like the one saying Don't Let Farage Speak For You. he doesn't, no matter what my vote is. he probably does speak for the some 13 million (i think) people who voted for him last year. also, if i don't let Farage speak for me, does it not mean that i am letting Cameron, Osborne and Corbyn speak for me? none of the above, thanks.
the bombardment of negative campaigns has made me dizzy. and that's me coming from a perspective of having no doubt at all about which way my vote must go. i am so very sorry for those who, all things being equal, have never had reason to think of the subject and yet now feel like they must vote either for the death of a nation by voting to stay in or the death of a nation by voting to get out.
one thing - whatever happens in the vote, George Osborne must be kicked out of his job. it is a disgrace that the Chancellor of the Exchequer has been allowed to run around and say "oh, erm, ah, sorry, i don't have a clue what i will do with the economy if this happens, we have not planned for it". that's your job, dick - if you can't do it, get out, stay out and let someone who can do it have a go.
as for Corbyn, well, his "don't blame me if the vote is to leave" statement reveals his true colours some. he quite likes being seen as a man of the people, but he's never quite been prepared to let go of the sense of entitlement that comes with being born into wealth - when you're rich, nothing is ever your fault.
i cannot lie - if you have read the story of how they tried to stop me and my family coming home and that's made your mind up for you to vote out, then good. if, however, you read it and would think it's "class" to stop people coming home and so shall vote remain, well, fair enough.
if you're reading this before you go, and i can say is vote with your heart and your head. which makes it a tough decision. there's no such thing as facts that you can base a decision on any more; they've all been torn up and replaced by "spin".
my guess at a result? i cannot speak for all corners of the UK, but in terms of the English way of doing things, i expect a narrow win for "remain". we don't like change. many who are thinking of voting leave will, i suspect, say "let's not ruffle feathers" when push comes to shove.
who knows, maybe the answer is to remain, but also just to get some decent leadership of this country back in place. with the latter being the ultimate priority.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!