Wednesday, August 08, 2012

@KevPietersen24 - the twelve best!

hi there

i read an article today about Kevin Pietersen and his "ongoing" talks to sign a new central contract, allowing him to continue playing Test cricket for England. most people assume that the delays are being caused by Kevin and his wish for the "flexibility" to drop out of Test series that clash with the dates of the IPL 20-20 season. it is partially this, but mostly it seems - and this took me by surprise - that Kevin Pietersen believes that a team mate has set up a fake, parody twitter account in his name and he wants it closed down.

blimey! that's quite a strong allegation, and one more or less denied by whoever it is that is updating "@KevPietersen24". i assume there is something in the messages that Kevin thinks only someone in the England team could have known about. i had a look at as many of the messages posted that i could to try and see if there was any explicit inside info. i did not, but i did end up with rather damp eyes laughing at some of the comments!

as a lot of people do not use or even know what twitter is (and to be honest 'twatter' is a better word for it), i have selected the twelve messages i consider to be the best and the funniest so far. yes Dad, this is mostly for your benefit, but also for anyone doing a google search thing to see what the fuss is all about.

whereas Kevin Pietersen (or rather his legal team) has not found who is doing this and stopped them, they have at the least managed to stop this account from using images of him. to resepct that, then, no pictures of him feature here, and i hope you appreciate my replacement images. here, then, are my choice of the best ones!

"People who say Test Cricket is the pinnacle haven't played IPL in front 80,000, slapping Indian medium pacers about at a 141% strike rate."

"40 min phone argument with Adidas today about them sending me a load of kids bats until I realised Taylor had nicked my changing room spot."

"Sorry KP's not been tweeting today. Had to get my head down because the other batsman can't do their job. Plus I'm batting with a child."

"Note to ex-pros. Make sure you're better than KP before you have a pop. Which means unless you're Don Bradman, keep your mouth shut."

"KP will only do an interview if I can interview the interviewer first to see if they are qualified to interview genius."

"James Taylor in the Test Squad? He looks like he would prefer to be dressed as a smurf, handcuffed to a stag on a Friday night in Newquay."

"There's no "i" in "Team" but there's 5 in "individual brilliance.""

"TEIAM - problem solved. #KPgenius"

"Which cricketer in your view would have made a great Olympian and in which discipline? KP - in all of them #genius"

"Don't worry haters. As soon as Delhi Daredevils get Test status then I will be out of this s**t hole & you won't witness genius ever again."

"Bob Willis having a go at KP? Not seen a man build his career off of 1 match like him since Guy Fawkes."

"Read today that a journalist accused KP of being "self-important." I nearly fell off my throne."

i can understand why he's taking offence at this, in particular if it really is a member of the England Test Squad behind it. should it not be one of his team-mates, however, then KP may want to take a breath and accept this as a fair compliment. Cricket has always been a rich source of material for some comedy that is as intelligent as it is funny; from Monty Python's commentary sketch all the way to the genius that is The 12th Man. if Kevin wasn't rather special and dear to a lot of people then he would just get ignored rather than having all of this going on.

Kevin Pietersen is rather keen to promote himself, but obviously not to the absurd levels shown here. oh, he's arrogant too, but then again he has earned the right to be so. i recall another cricketer, KP's mate Shane Warne, has been accused of arrogance. my view is that when someone has earned the right to be so, go ahead and be "arrogant", but it seems it is only seen that way by those jealous of an achievement or skill. Shane Warne was one of the greatest players of all time, and on the same list you will find Kevin Pietersen. i am guessing that whoever has created this 'KevPietersen24' thing has not scored as many runs as KP, has not won the Ashes as many times as KP and is certainly not in as much demand from the IPL and others as KP is. take criticism and mocking with the equal value you place on the person doing it, i say.

in the mean time, though, whoever has created this account and the messages - bravo on the genius of it, and many thanks indeed for the laughs!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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