Monday, August 20, 2012

Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000

hi there

well, a class drill was not my only investment turned out that i needed a keyboard for the PC, since my existing one is a bit broken. the "u" key kept on getting stuck, which might give you some clue as to how frequently i was called upon to write phrases that had the letter "u" in more than once, like for instance "*u** **u". i suspected, entirely at random, that the f, c and indeed k keys were not much longer for this earth, and thus looked for a new one.

i found one that i thought was more or less like the one i had, doing that sort of curve thing to it. quite nice for typing on, my now old keyboard was. anyway, it looked like a new version of it was out - the Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000, ladies and gentlemen.

yep, the picture is taken with my blueberry thing, sorry. i think you can more or less make out what it says below its rather impressive name, but if not the bit in black on red says "Your Wrists Will Thank You". i cannot but help wonder if that is some sort of reference to the kind of traffic the internet seems to attract, and indeed what the internet was probably created for the distribution of?

moving on, and i am happy to tell you that this new keyboard is "ergonomist approved", whatever the hell being ergonomist is. i think it means "good and comfortable to use". or similar to that.

the claim that it is this might be a bit more acceptable and interesting if it were not for the part below the claim that it is "ergonomist approved".

yep, a Microsoft keyboard is "ergonomist approved" by a "design ergonomist" employed by Microsoft. this chap Dan Odell is on to a winner here, is he not? not only does he get paid to design keyboards in an ergonomist fashion, he presumably gets paid to endorse that which he has designed to. nice one fella!

as for what ergonomist might mean, at least as far as the realm of keyboards goes, it seems basically it involves making a big massive hill in the middle of the keyboard. and an annoying one too, for i keep hitting the wrong letters.

the above picture does not show off the hill as well as it could, but basically the keys are a mountain of sorts, with the summit being the Y and G keys. it's quite a dip down to B, believe me.

being an ergonomist keyboard is also, it seems to be something that takes the sense of fun and adventure out of randomly twatting the Ctrl key when writing something. observe this classy close up of the keys.

yes, you are seeing what you think you are. the have gone and put under each letter exactly what shall happen if you twat that key whilst holding down the Ctrl key. that strikes me as taking the fun and adventure out of random messing about whilst creating a document. quite boring, really - no more can you say "i did not know that this would cut all that i have selected", for it tells you that this is what it will do right there on the X key.

a question that i cannot locate an answer to is exactly why is this called a "3000". there is nothing on the box that indicates why it has this number, and i am reasonably sure i have not seen 2,999 other versions of the Comfort Curve Keyboard on the shelves.

yes, i did try google, and google did not answer.

there is nothing at all in the box either that suggests why this is the 3000. there is, however, a class user guide and indeed a "limited warranty" note. both are brilliant.

the user guide is interesting. well, interesting if you are interested in "generic" and "pointless". it speaks at great length of the danger of messing around with lasers, and indeed advises you of the best way to dispose of exhausted rechargable batteries. all fascinating i guess, but not especially keyboard related. to that end, the "user guide" makes no mention at all of anything to do with keyboards. or the number 3000.

the limited warranty note is pretty useful too, as in the way a punch in the face is a rather useful way of understanding the owner of the fist does not really like you. over five or six pages the limited warranty speaks of things and damage that Microsoft will not undertake to fix or replace anything as a consequence of. basically, it says "if you break this, rather throw it out and just get a new one". it does, however, advise you to delete all personal information off the device before sending it to Microsoft. the mind boggles as to what i would store on a keyboard and i shudder to think were exactly on it i would store it.

no doubt i shall get used to this new keyboard in time, but at present my view is very much one of "do not buy another one of these". perhaps the 4000 model shall be a little less hilly. we shall see.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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