Saturday, June 07, 2014

blends, barbs, bats, bullseye and barber

hello there

i probably should be inspecting my range of suits presently, selecting the correct and most appropriate of them to wear for the day today. yes, indeed it is a Saturday, but it is a sort of a Saturday thing i have on the go.

frequently in town, look you see, i see chaps of a certain age that have donned their finest suit, waistcoat and tie to go around the place, always complemented in their look by a most elegant of brolly-cum-walking stick, looking rather dapper. i look forward, very much, to getting to the age where i consider dressing up for a jully stroll around the centre of town. genetics, alas, suggest i will go the way of purchasing and wearing a pair of red shoes to stroll around in.

anyway, pictures. i see the advertising maniacs are not letting this blended business go. far from it, really, as we now have something that is real and in our faces called blended crisps.

in what way, i wonder, are these bespoke crisps blended? is it the flavouring with the potatoes, is that it? or does the packet feature a blend of different potatoes? perhaps i should write to these people at Walkers and ask. i shall use a second class stamp for any such letter, of course, rather like i did on an item i posted to my mate Spiros today. Walkers, like Spiros, believe in just shoving as much money as they have available in the direction of Gary Lineker, thus they both appreciate their merits and morals being reflected in the postal system rating them as being second class, albeit with distinction.

Spiros, as it happens, used no less than two second class stamps to get the Toni & Guy London Fashion Week magazine to me, which was nice.

yeah, all visual evidence on this blog does more or less say i do not show all that much interest or care in my hair, outside of course of doing the Jason Donovan thing and ensuring that i have either lemon or lemon surprise as an integral, blended part of the shampoo i use.

it is important to me, though, to keep in touch with the latest fashions and trends in hair and that. well, Spiros seems to believe that it is of some importance to me, and it is not for me to disagree with Spiros.

i appreciate that many of you are far more interested in the members of my family that you all like a good deal more than either me or my chum Spiros. to please this, then, i took a couple of images of the boys whilst we were off at cricket during the week.

William, as you can quite possibly work out all by yourself from this picture, does not play all that much cricket whilst at cricket. he will, when the mood suits him, have a bit of a bowl or a bat, but mostly he spends his time on the field trying, with some valour if i say so myself, to introduce the principles and art of wrestling to the game. in great fairness a number of the others playing think this is a most splendid idea and join in with him but, alas, the coaches for the most part do not believe the game is ready for the increased level of contact. hey ho, one day his smart ideas will be embraced.

James, meanwhile, tends to just stick to the game as it was intended when Yorkshire gifted this key to civilisation to the world. good lad.

it is rather serious, the game, for James, as you can more or less make out in his expression here. sorry the picture is not of the finest quality; regular readers will be aware of just how much fun zoom is for one of them blueberry camera phone devices.

James is, i have noted, adopting a bit of a KP style FIG JAM approach to cricket, although with rather more age appropriate use of the f, maybe flip or something. nothing wrong with a touch of confidence in your skill and abilities, of course, unless it ends with you getting dropped by the England squad.

away from cricket, as awful as the idea of moving away from cricket is, the greatest gift that Yorkshire gave the world is probably the sense of a healthy apprecation of love and admiration for Barbs. yes, it is true that Barbs is not from Yorkshire and further has possibly never even been here, but it was that the people of Yorkshire appreciated her music that saw her attain the fame that she did. probably.

has, you wonder, Barbs - or rather an image of Barbs - ever appeared on the surface of a cup of coffee? rather like them times when people see Jesus or the Virgin Mary appear in a bit of wood or on some toast?

the answer is yes.

that must have been some pretty impressive coffee for Barbs to have imposed her image on it directly, wouldn't you say? normally, i would imagine, Barbs would instruct her people to tell her people that are responsible for coffee to suggest to the producers of the coffee that Barbs was particularly pleased with the one she had, and best they do not displease her by serving below that benchmark.

depending on what exactly happened with that R10 note i sent her, the only time i am aware of Barbs giving her personal and direct touch of appreciation to something was when that Bill Clinton fella won that Presidency thing. so that really must have been a stunning coffee.

on the other end of the cultural spectrum, or rainbow if you like, this morning i switched on Bullseye, expecting to be entertained, but instead i was offended.

the key to Bullseye working, and the heart of the show, is of course Jim Bowen. not this, whoever the hell it is in the middle, that now seems to be hosting the show on the repeats i saw.

despite the fact that someone has told me who he is, i do not know who he is as i have forgotten the name. all i know for certain is that this fella, who looks like he's some sort of bad John Sessions impersonator that has recently been released from a drugs and sex addiction clinic, is not the Bowen of Jim. so i switched it off.

i mean, sure, yes, there is a strong case to suggest that Jim Bowen is rather busy these days in his new role as Pope Francis, but surely Bono or someone - Jim Davidson, maybe, or perhaps Ricky Tomlison - could stand in as cover for him so that he could still host repeats of Bullseye from a few years ago?

you are, i suspect, a good deal more interested in all this blended crisps business than you are in Bullseye. so here is another picture of the packet which proclaims they are blended.

perhaps because it was one of them "different flavours" bags that that's where they were blended?

it seems that this Walkers crisps lot are based in that Leicester place, which makes a degree of sense. there is also a claim that they make 11 million bags of these crisps each day, so sending something to them second class should give them ample time and advance warning that they shall be requested - by me on your behalf - to explain in what way their product is blended, and what benefits come from all this blending business. however, i am a bit busy today, but shall do it later on in the week.

to finish off with, another look at me reading that Toni & Guy thing that Spiros sent to me? sure, why not.

Spiros is still wrestling with hairstyles, apparently. i am led to believe that on a recent trip he decided to get a barber to sort it out, only he got confused between "Parisian" and "partisan" when quizzed on what style he wanted to have. the result has been, from what i gather, less than spectacular, with him now looking a good deal more Jason Orange than he does Robbie Williams. the mind boggles as to what harm shall befall him during the week of fashion in London, or if you prefer the London fashion week.

right, my (considerably) better half has informed me that i need to go and do all of this suit business instead of messing around with this and fretting over what Spiros has done with his hair.

have a most splendid of weekends!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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