i shouldn't be writing this blog post. at all.
my evening, with my (considerably) better half deciding that she was using my desk, was to involve the brief task of installing a new game on the computer for the boys. the game in question is Worms Crazy Golf, something they quite like on the iTwat but is probably better on a computer.
probably, i say, because at this stage, a couple of hours after installing began, i have not yet been able to play it. and in this case i do not think it is because i am some sort of retard when it comes to putting things on the computer.
that's the copy of the game i bought. you would expect it to be a fair enough case, you bought it, go right ahead and install it on your PC and play away. not so.
the first challenge from the game manufacturers - Team 17, but from now on to be called "those twats at Team 17" - was that you have to register or enable the game online. no problem should this be - it would be but the work of a moment to go and put the registration code, activation key or whatever in on the forms on the website for those twats at Team 17. except you don't, you have to register it through something called "Steam". and here is the problem.
it was annoying that i had to download 100MB of the "Steam" program, since the one on the Worms Crazy Golf disc was apparently out of date. it was annoying that i had to register with this "Steam" crowd to play a game i had bought from a company that has nothing to do with them. i went ahead and did it, however, for a quiet, normal life.
what is most annoying, however, is that the f*****g stupid twats at Steam are insisting that i f*****g download all 700 f*****g MBs of the game from them, instead of installing it from the f*****g disc that i purchased and has it on.
i thought it appropriate to use the iTwat to take these pictures, by the way. this is because the actions of those twats at Team 17 and those complete bellends at Steam make the likes of Apple and Sony seem all of a sudden reasonable.
what exactly is the point of selling me a disc with the game files on it, and then not allowing me to install the game from that disc? who on earth does that make sense to? it's like going to buy a CD, taking it home and then getting a message saying "wait until the song comes on the radio".
a quick search of the internet suggests that this problem is widespread, and there's no particular solution or way to get the game to install of the disc you bought. most internet forums are littered with comments of resignation, saying they opted to just let the thing download instead of using the disc they bought.
on the note of the disc, i am somewhat baffled as to why the twats at Team 17 insisted on releasing this as a DVD Rom, since the file size says it would fit on a CD Rom with no issues.
do the total bellends from Steam advise you on how to install a game you have bought from the disc? yes, and indeed no. this is all they have on their useless website :
Using Steam launch options to install retail games from disc
Log in to Steam and click on Library.
Right-click on the game, select Delete local content, and confirm.
Insert the first disc into your computer.
Close Steam (Steam > Exit).
Press Windows Key + R to open Run
In the Run window type:
"C:\Program Files\Steam\Steam.exe" -install E:
Replace E: with the CD/DVD drive you are installing from if is not correct.
Replace C:\Program Files\Steam if your Steam installation is not in the default location.
Press OK. Steam will launch and ask you to sign in if you do not have your password saved.
Your installation should continue from the disc.
that's the "yes" part. the "no" part is that the above does not f*****g work at all, instead simply copying an unrelated 7MB file from the disc to some folder. all other advice i have found and followed on the internet has not worked, so download it is.
what a bunch of twats. i suppose they believe that using the word "should" in the last sentence covers them in regards of giving info that does not work.
and no, there's not a word on how to install from the disc in either the instruction book or on the webpage from those twats at Team 17.
the above measures are no doubt down to wishing to fight off piracy. that's all well and good, but it is all just too much really. i am someone who has bought the original game and all i have got for my troubles is to have time and download space wasted as i get f****d around by this lavish security and bizarre insistence on downloading a game that is sat on the disc which is in the f*****g computer.
this is why people get pushed into buying or downloading pirate games. it has little to do with wishing to steal, or get something for cheap or nothing. it has everything to do with just simply wishing to play the game, something that the people who make it appear very reluctant for you to do.
the above all details my efforts to install an original game on a PC. they so far have not been a success, it is still trickling in as a download. the below is some of my class MS Paint art for you, showing exactly what would have happened if i had simply decided to obtain a pirate copy.
i do not advocate piracy in any way, shape or form. i do, however, understand the insane frustrations that those who make and sell these games cause, and push people into getting a pirate copy simply because it is a lot easier and more straightforward to play.
did i mention that i consider Team 17 and Steam to be a bunch of twats? Worms Crazy Golf is an ace game, and one that i am delighted to throw money at them in order to be able to play. it seems, however, they are happy to catch that money, but most reluctant indeed to just let me play it.
off i go to watch it download, then.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!