Sunday, April 16, 2017

now let us praise famous men

hello there


earlier this week, as recently as friday in fact, i found myself considering options for breakfast. it is indeed true that normally i would dine upon croissants for my first meal of the day. this is but of course borne from my love of all things French, look you see, looking at how many hits i appear to be attracting from that fine, fine nation; one that has contributed a great deal to the world but the specifics of which escape me for the moment.

anyway, i was bereft or if you like without or if you prefer sans croissants on this particular morning. it is not always possible to obtain them, especially when strictly speaking you are not in France. as when is or is not in France has been extensively covered in an earlier post, let us move on.

so moving on to what i had available rather than linger on that which i did not, it occurred to me that i did as point of fact have a most splendid item from my travels of the year before this. one which i had not yet made any, less sufficient, use of, and one which was appropriate for serving at breakfast.



yes. as you can quite clearly see in the above, presented in the splendour and magnificence of Commodore 64 mode, i elected that particular morning to be the one which i cracked open the jar of Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve which i had personally procured from Fortnum & Mason during my travels to the capital during the year before this.

one must be careful with what they do and do not admit to in this particular era, with some preferring to remain silent on absolutely everything just to be safe, no matter how silly or peculiar that may make them. i shall not do this, though. it is appropriate for me to admit, if not confess, that yes, quite a significant amount of time has passed between me obtaining this fine jam and the actual use. several months, as point of fact, if not rather closer to nine or ten in specific. no particular reason for the delay, i just had not gotten to it and no, i had not forgotten it was there.

such a special jam required, but of course, special treatment. whilst the jam itself was to be spread over the finest toasted bread, or if you like toast, available, it was essential to have the correct tea to drink so as to perfectly complement it, with this tea being served in the most appropriate chalice or vessel.



ideally yes, i would have had some Fortnum & Mason tea to go with the jam. alas, i had none. my own reserves were long ago depleted, with the means of disposal being either i having consumed tea crafted from the tea bags, or the tea bags were despatched to locations both across the Atlantic and across the English Channel. Yorkshire Tea it was to be then, what with it being the very finest tea in the world as it is from Yorkshire.

as for a suitable chalice, well, The Who are rock aristocracy or if you like nobility or if you prefer royalty. also, the image of Mr Pete Townshend very much doing his thing with a guitar has been coloured with a union jack / flag style scheme, so it seemed appropriate to use. it is highly probable, is it not, that members of The Who had at some stage also had tea and toast, with strawberry jam placed on the latter. considering the enormous sums of money they have earned and their elevated class status, it is also quite probable that they, too, have eaten jam prepared and supplied by Fortnum & Mason.

please note, however, from a point of legal requirements, i am most decidedly not stating as fact that any member of The Who has eaten Fortnum & Mason jam. all that i seek to do is raise the possibility that they may have, and indeed may have done so without knowing that this was the case.



for some peculiar reason one or two of you may believe that Commodore 64 mode is not the best nor the most visually articulate way to present the details of an item which is being observed. should you be within this demographic i can only trust that the above image of the front of this Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve from Fortnum & Mason is pleasing.

i would be certain that i discussed this last year and the label makes it somewhat obvious, but yes, for you text based digesting of information enthusiasts, this is indeed a special extra jam preserve which Fortnum & Mason commissioned in honour of the 90th birthday of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. no, alas, i am unaware of whether or not a jar of this was indeed presented to her as a gift. you would, however, suspect that yes, indeed it was.

who knows? perhaps Her Majesty, along with whichever members of her family she allowed to join her, had this very same jam for breakfast on the same day i did. as she is quite busy and i had an unusually late start to my day on friday, however, i would have every reason to suspect that if she did so, it would have been at a time a good deal earlier on that day than i did.




to please the food puritans or enthusiasts who might well be reading this when normally they would be nowhere near my blog, the above is a look at the untouched extra jam preserve. it was taken mere moments after i took the lid off. this was a lid that, i shall have you know, took quite some effort to remove. i trust that Her Majesty had considerably better fortune in opening her jar than i did, although granted it is more likely that she had a footman or similar servant to do this for her.

could i not summon such servitude from someone? not really. whilst our children, as would be routine and expected, ignored my fanciful celebrations of opening some jam, my (considerably) better half simply suggested running it under some hot water. this i am led to believe is an action which can indeed loosen the lid on a jar, but i feared it would cause harm to the most splendid label. so i persevered until i got the lid off, and off it came in what i consider to be a most dignified way.

what exactly, or if you prefer precisely, is in this Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve? as the image of the virgin jam, and indeed the name of it, suggest, strawberries. beyond that in my view it would be better to simply trust Fortnum & Mason to put in it whatever they so felt as being suitable. for those somewhat more curious, and in meeting with certain legal requirements, Fortnum & Mason have however placed the ingredients on the label on the reverse or if you like back of the jar.



a point of interest for me in the above is that Fortnum & Mason have not so much suggested as they have strictly stipulated that i must consume all of this jam within a 4 week, or if you so prefer 28 day period. far be it from me to quarrel with this, then. one can take it as a given that i shall be eating a considerable amount of Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve over the course of this time period then. that, of course, is if you consider 340g to be a considerable amount.

would it be appropriate for those who do not support the monarchy, as in those who consider themselves to be republicans despite the fact that they are British subjects, to obtain, own or consume this jam? i would believe that the answer to this is no. such people would be best advised to go to a supermarket or other such retailer with a reputation for being a place where such republicans congregate, so that they may purchase jam which has not been infused with a sense of the importance of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. in speaking from a purely personal perspective, i would not wish to have anything to do with such a jam, as it would not have been made with the same sense of care or importance.

normally i would consider it a crass act, republican in nature and intent, to picture and share an image of a meal which i was to eat. that sort of thing is best reserved for channels such as that "twitter", where people air republican views and show off their food. in this instance, however, i have made an exception. i felt it appropriate to show off the correct way to enjoy this Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve.

my apologies, though, for the fact that it all seems to inadvertently look like one of the opening shots, albeit in colour, of the controversial promotional video for the pop single Every Breath You Take by  the curiously name popular music trio called The Police.



quite. the correct way to cut toast when it has Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve on it is in this diagonal, or if you prefer triangular, way. although this form of cutting toast is, on a day to day basis, most commonly associated with the way in which hotels, guest houses and other forms of accommodation businesses which serve food, an interesting fact is that it is also the Royal way of presenting and serving toast. to have your toast in this way is to show your class and distinction in an effortless, subtle and yet effective way.

what punishment could you expect for serving toast which has Royal Sovereign  Strawberry Extra Jam Preserve on it in a way not as pictured above? the law has become quite relaxed in this respect over the years. i would trust that the culprit would be apprehended and cautioned under questioning, but with such strained resources i dare say the constabulary no longer even send out a detective to investigate such a matter.

for many people there is a sense that we live in a world where people should be free to cut and serve toast how they wish, and that there should not be any criminal charges or other such persecution in relation to this. i am relatively happy to abide by this. it is, on reflection, justice enough that those who do not serve their toast in a correct way are explicitly showing off their lower status within the overall class system. calling a police officer to attend the matter would be a significant waste of resources for all parties involved, so please do not do this, no matter how passionate you are about toast, the monarchy or indeed being a republican.

oh, how does the jam taste? most splendid, as you would expect. sorry if you believed that this would be a review of it. i took it as quite the given that as it was made by Fortnum & Mason and done so in honour of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II it would be one of the finest foods ever created. probably not, however, suitable for those who do not like strawberries, jam or the monarchy.

anyway, little in the way of good or benefit could come from any further comments i could make, so i shall now take my leave of you and conclude this post in the usual way.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





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