Sunday, July 05, 2015

the compresed deception

hi there

another one of them ever popular, so it seems, posts from me about all things lynx deodorant. i appreciate, look you see, that i am too old and too married to be part of the demographic target that lynx wishes to sell to, but they seem to be the only people who make deodorant with a proper spray on them. the others go for all that sporadic, hit and hope wide release rubbish. so, i am stuck with them, and they are stuck with me.

readers in south africa, and possibly other locations, please note that you should read "lynx" as "axe", or whatever they call it where you are. it's the deodorant that advertises itself - incorrectly, in my experience - along the lines of how when you wear it the ladies find you so irresistible that you have to resort to beating them off with a sh!tty stick.

the above is the one that i am presently engaged in the use of, and it is this one which is my problem. not the excite blended scent as such, the one which smells of coconut. no, the actual scent is acceptable, to the point of satisfactory, if not quite delivering unto me the rather desirable "fanny magnet" sort of lifestyle. the issue, or if you like quarrel, is that it is seemingly only available in this "compressed" tin format these days.

this "less is more" thing in the retail world has been all the rage for a while. it has perhaps been best used in the world of toothpaste, where the great toothpaste manufacturers of the world decided to reduce the amount of toothpaste in a tube rather than increase the price of a standard one. an awful lot of people got their knickers in a twist over this, but for the most part people appreciated that they were getting products packaged to a specific price. 

none of the toothpaste manufacturers, however, pretend that 75ml of toothpaste is exactly the same as 100ml of toothpaste. granted, they did not go around shouting "woo hoo everyone, look, we are giving you less for the same money", but it is fair to point out that they didn't make any mathematically unlikely statements.

not so, it seems, with lynx. that is at least, for the sake of clarity here, my experience with the stuff. you will observe that they make a rather bold statement here, saying that this compressed tin "lasts as long as your normal 150ml lynx bodyspray". observe, if you will, there is no qualifying "*" next to that.

to be kind, in my experience no it does not. to be rather more abrupt about it. no it f*****g doesn't.

in neither of the possible instances where they could practically be applying this statement to does the 100ml "compressed" tin last as long as an uncompressed (as uncompressed as an aerosol can be, i suppose) 150ml traditional, or if you like classical, one.

first off, the tin does not last as long as a 150ml one. on average i get some 5 - 6 days use off of a 150ml tin. a 100ml one, as you would possibly assume after a simple ratio calculation, lasts me all of 3 - 4 days. considering it is sold at the same price as the 150ml tin, you tell me how this is it "lasting the same".

secondly, in regards of actual fitness for purpose, it isn't. granted, it is particularly humid and muggy at the moment, but still it's the case that i am having to supplement this compressed deodorant with a cheeky bit of roll on deo application by mid-morning.

that the spray, as you shall observe here, has all the power and force you would associate with a tadpole having a go at a fart, does not help.

as i filmed the above on an apple device rather than blueberry one, no, sorry, there is no secret scent recording embedded in it. as and when scent players are made available to the general public, it shall remain the case that you cannot smell the above.

lynx, rather like apple with their watches, will no doubt turn around and say that any problem or issue, indeed shortcoming, with their product is down to the end user using it wrong rather than it being a fault on their side.

the only way to make lynx compressed cool is to take a picture of it in Commodore 64 mode with scan mode switched on, so here you go.

why don't i, i hear you say, simply just p!ss off and buy the regular 150ml cans and not trouble you with blog posts like this one. it is a fair comment, dear reader, even if there is no need for you to be quite so hostile in tone, and i would love to do just that.

sadly, however, it seems that the lynx business model is one of making only either the compressed tin, or the ludicrously overpriced "xl" 200ml tins, available for sale at points of purchase. i suspect that for some reason the incumbent head of nice smells, CEO if you like, of lynx, has for personal reasons got it in for the classic traditions of the 150ml tin and are seeking to remove it from the world.

as all other deodorant, or if you like "body spray", manufacturers steer well clear of a proper, serviceable spray on them, i am, alas, left with little choice but to spend coins of real money on this, a quite inferior or if you like not fit for purpose product. cheers for that, lynx.

what i need, i suppose, is for a super serious attractor of ladies - Jason Donovan, perhaps, or maybe even Nick Beggs - to kick off about the lack of availability of 150ml tins, saying that they no longer attract the ladies by the hundreds as a consequence of not having the proper deo tins. will this happen? maybe.

if you are presently using lynx compressed, i sincerely hope that your experiences are better than mine. if you are finding it enhances your abilities to attract the ladies, and indeed the gentry, well then so much the better.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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